Romance: Catching Helena Handbasket by Lily Flowers

a chivalrous bow in the direction of his stunned lady.  “We’ll be shooting in the legendary rose garden, and also perhaps in the Palm House simulated rain forest.”
         Just not able to stand it anymore, a by now ecstatic Helena grabbed Blaine’s hands and engaged him in a spirited Do Si Do as she let loose with a joyous whoop.
         “Well hot damn!” she declared.  “I always had wanted to be adorned in period finery while shooting in a legendary rose garden and—as an added perk—a simulated rain forest.  Definitely on the bucket list, that particular happening.”
         Both Trey and Blaine laughed uproariously as a giddy Helena continued to dance and whoop, landing finally in the chair before Trey’s desk.  A still smiling Blaine joined her seconds later, and the two signed contracts that pertained to the cover art and promotional tie ins associated with Helena’s work.
         “I seriously want to see this cover on coffee mugs, T-shirts, the business end of an adult toy, and mayhap even your garden variety toothpaste dispenser!”  Helena declared, drawing vaguely horrified looks from her publisher and cover model.
         “Um, we’ll see Helena,” Trey nodded, adding as he pressed the talk button on his nearby intercom, “In the meantime, I think we really need to have Irving Birnbaum present for this meeting.  He is, after all, the editor for this book.”
         Ignoring the strangulated moan of protest that arose from Helena’s lips, Trey said into the intercom, “Irving, could you come in here please?”
         Blaine smiled.
         “I always enjoy meeting editors,” he told Helena.  “They tend to be very calm, quiet people—the consummate professionals.”
         Helena gritted her teeth.
         “Well I must admit that this description fits Irving to a T,” she agreed with a nod.  “Just make sure that the T is crossed at all times, and capitalized if needed.  Otherwise, your earthly existence might very well be at risk.”
         As if on cue Irving Birnbaum crossed the threshold into Trey’s office; fixing his employer with a cold stare as he asked in an annoyed tone, “Is this important, Boss?  I was editing Marianne Morgan’s latest romantic epic, Fiery Flames of Fanning Desire, and I was just about to correct the last of her many dangling participles. I tell you, Trey, that woman just may be the bane of my existence.”
         Trey nodded.
         “Well I’m…sorry to hear that, Irving,” he allowed, suddenly grabbing the paperweight from his desk top and stuffing it inside his drawer.  “I’d like to introduce you to Blaine Bennington, our cover model for Helena’s book Pride and Passion.”
         Immediately Blaine stood from his seat, offering his hand to a still seething Irving.
         “Very nice to meet you, Sir,” he nodded with a smile.  “Don’t you just love Helena’s book?  I had the pleasure of reading a preview copy…”
         He stopped short seconds later, as Irving’s eyes lit up with something akin to demonic intensity.
         “A PREVIEW copy?” he bellowed, fists balling as an angry shade of red illuminated his sallow complexion.  “You read my work before it was completely edited, fact checked and proofread?”
         Blaine nodded.
         “Actually Irving,” he continued, his smile dissolving in the face of evident editorial ire, “I am of the opinion that Helena’s work is so good that she doesn’t need an editor.”
         Helena gasped, gaze shooting to Irving as she predicted the imminent destruction of her foxy cover model.
         Letting loose with an animal growl, the pickled proofreader dug deep into his pants pocket and withdrew a large oval paperweight; one emblazoned with the ironic phrase, “Be calm and edit.”
         “Criminy, he brought his own weapon,” Helena surged from her seat, ready to tackle her cuckoo co-worker as he