been stretching.” Standing with a yawn, he cracked his back with several loud pops. “I might just go hit the sack, myself. You seen Lola at all? She left, and I didn't see her when I was outside with Colt.”
Thinking of Lola's nearly exposed breasts, I balled my fists in my lap. “She came back a while ago. I think she's sleeping already.”
Porter's forehead ran with wrinkles. “Huh. Alright then. She's probably more exhausted than all of us. It's been a crazy day for her.”
My chin barely moved as I nodded. Porter was more right than he even knew. It turned a knife in me, guilt flooding my senses. Lola had experienced a day full of things she never imagined, and for some of those, I was to blame.
Glancing out the window, I squinted through the tinted glass. The guards were still there, the party only beginning to die down. I spotted the glow of garbage-can fires and wondered if the police would swing by to force the crowd to disburse.
The walk to my small room was short. I'd picked the one furthest down the hall, closest to the practice room. Passing by Lola's bed, unable to see inside, I struggled with my raging desire to shove through and finish what I'd begun.
Shoving aside my heavy, charcoal curtain, I let myself drop onto my mattress instead.
It was dark, I'd covered the small window in the wall with a slice of thick foam. My insomnia was bad enough as is, I hated the idea of the sun seeping through the glass before I was ready to wake up.
Sliding my shirt over my head, I dropped it carelessly. My belt would have come next, but when I touched the cold metal, I was assaulted by the memory of her heat.
In spite of myself, I sucked air through my teeth. Lola had squirmed under me, so warm and tender and soft all at once. Mostly soft, I mused. The hard-on I'd sported could have cut through my jeans.
At the time, when I'd found myself strewn across her, I'd stopped thinking about all the reasons I'd crafted to stay away. Her chest had thrummed against mine, heart stampeding. Feeling her, seeing her reactions and knowing I had to be the cause, I'd just... I'd started to give in.
Lola had made it too easy. Grinding under me, her blue eyes so wide and unsure, I'd sensed her hunger as clearly as she'd felt my massive erection.
I'd wanted to crush my mouth on hers until she either begged me to keep going or pleaded with me to stop. Which one did I want from her? I gave my head a shake. That porcelain tub had been so perfect.
It had doomed me.
I told myself to stay away from her. The danger of sleeping with Lola is obvious! Scowling, I ripped my jeans down to my ankles. The engorged bulge in my boxers was a constant reminder that my rational thought didn't exactly agree with the rest of me.
Lying back on my bed, I stared at the ceiling. There would be no key there to crack this puzzle. Still, I stared, unblinking. If I wondered about her wanting me, now I know the truth. My cock gave a sympathetic throb.
The way she clung to me when I saved her from the guards... and the way she touched me when she thought I was hurt... It shouldn't have been insignificant. Instead, it all cemented my desire to get closer to Lola Cooper.
Shutting my eyes, I recalled again how she had trouble meeting my gaze. How she'd turned so red, writhing beneath me, my erection grinding on her belly.
Fuck, I'd wanted to kiss her so bad. Reaching up, I dragged my fingertips over my lips. If Porter hadn't shown up, making me worry about getting caught, I don't think I would have stopped. I would've given in, dropped the walls and taken a bite out of Lola Cooper.
My fingers crushed against my mouth violently. I'm awful, a fucking monster. I'd risk ruining my future—the band's future—by taking what I want from her.
If I let myself give in and had my way with Lola, she'd probably hate me after. Every woman I slept with eventually did. I couldn't balance sex and my career before, why would now be different?
She'd probably quit the
Thinking of Lola's nearly exposed breasts, I balled my fists in my lap. “She came back a while ago. I think she's sleeping already.”
Porter's forehead ran with wrinkles. “Huh. Alright then. She's probably more exhausted than all of us. It's been a crazy day for her.”
My chin barely moved as I nodded. Porter was more right than he even knew. It turned a knife in me, guilt flooding my senses. Lola had experienced a day full of things she never imagined, and for some of those, I was to blame.
Glancing out the window, I squinted through the tinted glass. The guards were still there, the party only beginning to die down. I spotted the glow of garbage-can fires and wondered if the police would swing by to force the crowd to disburse.
The walk to my small room was short. I'd picked the one furthest down the hall, closest to the practice room. Passing by Lola's bed, unable to see inside, I struggled with my raging desire to shove through and finish what I'd begun.
Shoving aside my heavy, charcoal curtain, I let myself drop onto my mattress instead.
It was dark, I'd covered the small window in the wall with a slice of thick foam. My insomnia was bad enough as is, I hated the idea of the sun seeping through the glass before I was ready to wake up.
Sliding my shirt over my head, I dropped it carelessly. My belt would have come next, but when I touched the cold metal, I was assaulted by the memory of her heat.
In spite of myself, I sucked air through my teeth. Lola had squirmed under me, so warm and tender and soft all at once. Mostly soft, I mused. The hard-on I'd sported could have cut through my jeans.
At the time, when I'd found myself strewn across her, I'd stopped thinking about all the reasons I'd crafted to stay away. Her chest had thrummed against mine, heart stampeding. Feeling her, seeing her reactions and knowing I had to be the cause, I'd just... I'd started to give in.
Lola had made it too easy. Grinding under me, her blue eyes so wide and unsure, I'd sensed her hunger as clearly as she'd felt my massive erection.
I'd wanted to crush my mouth on hers until she either begged me to keep going or pleaded with me to stop. Which one did I want from her? I gave my head a shake. That porcelain tub had been so perfect.
It had doomed me.
I told myself to stay away from her. The danger of sleeping with Lola is obvious! Scowling, I ripped my jeans down to my ankles. The engorged bulge in my boxers was a constant reminder that my rational thought didn't exactly agree with the rest of me.
Lying back on my bed, I stared at the ceiling. There would be no key there to crack this puzzle. Still, I stared, unblinking. If I wondered about her wanting me, now I know the truth. My cock gave a sympathetic throb.
The way she clung to me when I saved her from the guards... and the way she touched me when she thought I was hurt... It shouldn't have been insignificant. Instead, it all cemented my desire to get closer to Lola Cooper.
Shutting my eyes, I recalled again how she had trouble meeting my gaze. How she'd turned so red, writhing beneath me, my erection grinding on her belly.
Fuck, I'd wanted to kiss her so bad. Reaching up, I dragged my fingertips over my lips. If Porter hadn't shown up, making me worry about getting caught, I don't think I would have stopped. I would've given in, dropped the walls and taken a bite out of Lola Cooper.
My fingers crushed against my mouth violently. I'm awful, a fucking monster. I'd risk ruining my future—the band's future—by taking what I want from her.
If I let myself give in and had my way with Lola, she'd probably hate me after. Every woman I slept with eventually did. I couldn't balance sex and my career before, why would now be different?
She'd probably quit the
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