Resistance by C. J. Daugherty

That’s a traditional method for handling concern in our culture.’
    ‘I know … I’m sorry about that. Communication hasn’t been my thing lately.’ He leaned back against the shelves, watching her. He looked like he was afraid of what she might say next.
    She knew just how he felt.
    ‘Why were you so … worried?’ she asked.
    He made a vague gesture with one hand. ‘Because I thought you were safe out there. As you can tell, things are less than safe here. And I didn’t know what had happened to you out there.’
    ‘No one told you about the shooting?’ Allie said.
    His lips tightening, he shook his head. ‘I know now. Isabelle told me. And Sylvain filled in the details. I can’t …’ His voice trailed off but she saw how his muscles tensed. ‘Once I knew … I understood why you had to come back.’
    ‘Still,’ Allie said gently, ‘it’s not like you to act like that. Not lately, anyway.’
    A long silence followed. He didn’t meet her gaze. She got the feeling he was trying to decide whether or not to reply.
    ‘While you were gone …’ he began at last. He paused before starting up again. ‘Lately, I guess I haven’t been in a great place mentally.’
    His frankness took Allie by surprise.
    ‘Because of Jules?’
    His eyes met hers and glanced away. ‘Because of Jules and a lot of stuff.’
    ‘You know it’s not your fault … right?’ Allie said.
    His face darkened. ‘You know Jo’s death wasn’t your fault. Right?’
    His words were as quick and painful as a snake bite. Allie drew in her breath.
    Instantly contrite, he raked his fingers through his dark hair. ‘God, Allie, I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.’
    ‘It wasn’t fair.’ Her voice quivered and she knotted her hands at her sides. ‘Was it?’
    He reached out his hand as if to comfort her but stopped at the last minute and rested it on a shelf instead, like he’d always meant to put it there.
    ‘No,’ he said. ‘It wasn’t. I seem to be …’ Biting his lip, he tapped his knuckles against the shelf. Allie got the feeling he’d like to put his fist through it but was restraining himself. ‘I seem to be unfair a lot lately.’
    ‘I know what that’s like,’ Allie said. ‘You know I do.’ She took a step towards him – invading the wide circle of personal space he’d created. ‘You can talk to me about this stuff, Carter. I really do understand. Probably more than most people. Like you get my panic attacks. I get this … stuff.’
    Her sudden proximity seemed to make him nervous. He backed away, pretending he was just shifting his weight from one leg to another.
    But when he replied, his voice was soft and filled with pain. ‘I know, Allie. But I just … can’t.’
    It was the way he said her name that did it.
    After they’d broken up he always said it quickly, like he couldn’t wait to get it over with. Like he didn’t like the taste of it.
    But this time he lingered over it. Stretched it out.
    Allie’s throat tightened.
    She wasn’t imagining this – something was happening here.
    But it couldn’t be. They were done with that.
    I’m losing it, she thought. He loves Jules. I’m with Sylvain. And I am being incredibly stupid right now.
    Carter was still talking. ‘It’s hard to bring things up sometimes. When there’s no … solution.’
    It occurred to her that she wasn’t entirely certain what he was talking about. But they were on dangerous ground now, and she needed to pull them back to safety before they went too far. And did something they’d regret.
    Because a voice in her head kept telling her to kiss him.
    ‘But I think there is a solution.’ She talked fast, before she could change her mind. ‘We just have to figure it out. I think we need to get Jules back here, somehow. That would make everything better.’
    Carter looked at her as if that wasn’t the response he’d expected. But as soon as she said it, Allie realised she was right. That was the answer to everything. If