feeling of drowning that had washed over her again and again over the last week. She'd had margaritas with Jessie, donuts with Jason, even a long phone call with her mother who insisted everything would be all right. If it was, her mother was going to be intolerably smug.
She thought she could deal with a smug mother.
"Is seven too late?" she asked. Cars were speeding by them like crazy. As far as she knew the only thing up the road was the decrepit medical building. Considering the amount of traffic coming and going from the place, the owners ought to be more than able to remodel.
"I'll see you," he said. "The only thing that would stop me would be an emergency."
She thought he started to reach for his phone, maybe meaning to wave it in the air again like a false promise.
She was grateful she didn't.
They didn't kiss again before they went off to their respective jobs.
I ran into him again .
Literally? Jessie sent back. Where are you? Isn't today big meeting?
In the big meeting.
?? Aren't you leading it??
Yep.
!!
Can't think. Besides, Jason's talking.
Oh. Wait, you ran into HIM?
Who did you think?
Wasn't thinking. AND?
She stopped, savoring the feeling, the expectation, the delight, the slight nerves, the anticipation, the heady sense of wellbeing coupled with the thought she might explode in nerves and anxiety and impatience.
Dinner tonight.
You and me?
Smile. Me and him.
Call me after BM, Jessie wrote.
?????
"Big Meeting." Sheesh.
S he did . She texted and chatted and called Jessie in the two hours between getting off work and when Tanner was due.
"You're making yourself a nervous wreck," Jessie said. "He disappeared for a week. If you have a hair out of place, it will probably be all right."
Taylor laughed. Nervously.
"It will probably serve him right," Jessie said.
Taylor laughed nervously again.
"Go," Jessie said. "Fix your hair. Clean your clean house. Worry. Call me after."
S he met him at the door with Monster by her side, straining at his collar, desperate to welcome the man he'd met once. Or a serial killer. A friendly serial killer. All people were good in Monster's opinion, unless they turned out otherwise.
"Is he like this because I haven't been around or because I'm back?" Tanner asked, giving the dog's ears a friendly scratch. "Or because I was around before?"
"Yes," Taylor said, but she'd noticed his hesitation when he said before.
She felt a little hesitant too. Despite the whirlwind of emotions all day, the dragging horrible afternoon that hadn't wanted to end, the excitement and speed cleaning of the house, the shower, the home manicure, the purchasing of beverages – despite it all, she now felt the tiniest bit reluctant.
"Where can I wash up?" Tanner asked, and she showed him to the guest bath, then went into the kitchen to move the pizza from one counter to the other, fidgeting.
She wasn't mad. Particularly.
Nor was she completely not mad.
That her trust had taken a hit – that was undeniable.
But the reluctance? She hadn't wanted to greet him, really. Her kiss had been halfway there. Her heart wasn't in it.
The idea that she might not be truly glad to see him made her sad.
"Except I am glad," she whispered. "I'm just reluctant."
That word again. Because it made sense. Even as she heard him coming back up the hall she understood. She was reluctant to have him there because Tanner there meant Tanner explaining. She couldn't fathom a way in which she could go forward without having him explain.
As long as he hadn't explained yet, the future was infinite and full of possibilities.
When he explained, things changed. Or they might change.
There was no way to know they'd change for the better.
"Can I pour you a glass of the wine?" she asked. "Thank you for bringing it. I haven't seen this brand before."
"Corkscrew?" he asked, and set about with it while she put the pizza onto plates, something she'd never consider when alone, and fetched a green salad out of
She thought she could deal with a smug mother.
"Is seven too late?" she asked. Cars were speeding by them like crazy. As far as she knew the only thing up the road was the decrepit medical building. Considering the amount of traffic coming and going from the place, the owners ought to be more than able to remodel.
"I'll see you," he said. "The only thing that would stop me would be an emergency."
She thought he started to reach for his phone, maybe meaning to wave it in the air again like a false promise.
She was grateful she didn't.
They didn't kiss again before they went off to their respective jobs.
I ran into him again .
Literally? Jessie sent back. Where are you? Isn't today big meeting?
In the big meeting.
?? Aren't you leading it??
Yep.
!!
Can't think. Besides, Jason's talking.
Oh. Wait, you ran into HIM?
Who did you think?
Wasn't thinking. AND?
She stopped, savoring the feeling, the expectation, the delight, the slight nerves, the anticipation, the heady sense of wellbeing coupled with the thought she might explode in nerves and anxiety and impatience.
Dinner tonight.
You and me?
Smile. Me and him.
Call me after BM, Jessie wrote.
?????
"Big Meeting." Sheesh.
S he did . She texted and chatted and called Jessie in the two hours between getting off work and when Tanner was due.
"You're making yourself a nervous wreck," Jessie said. "He disappeared for a week. If you have a hair out of place, it will probably be all right."
Taylor laughed. Nervously.
"It will probably serve him right," Jessie said.
Taylor laughed nervously again.
"Go," Jessie said. "Fix your hair. Clean your clean house. Worry. Call me after."
S he met him at the door with Monster by her side, straining at his collar, desperate to welcome the man he'd met once. Or a serial killer. A friendly serial killer. All people were good in Monster's opinion, unless they turned out otherwise.
"Is he like this because I haven't been around or because I'm back?" Tanner asked, giving the dog's ears a friendly scratch. "Or because I was around before?"
"Yes," Taylor said, but she'd noticed his hesitation when he said before.
She felt a little hesitant too. Despite the whirlwind of emotions all day, the dragging horrible afternoon that hadn't wanted to end, the excitement and speed cleaning of the house, the shower, the home manicure, the purchasing of beverages – despite it all, she now felt the tiniest bit reluctant.
"Where can I wash up?" Tanner asked, and she showed him to the guest bath, then went into the kitchen to move the pizza from one counter to the other, fidgeting.
She wasn't mad. Particularly.
Nor was she completely not mad.
That her trust had taken a hit – that was undeniable.
But the reluctance? She hadn't wanted to greet him, really. Her kiss had been halfway there. Her heart wasn't in it.
The idea that she might not be truly glad to see him made her sad.
"Except I am glad," she whispered. "I'm just reluctant."
That word again. Because it made sense. Even as she heard him coming back up the hall she understood. She was reluctant to have him there because Tanner there meant Tanner explaining. She couldn't fathom a way in which she could go forward without having him explain.
As long as he hadn't explained yet, the future was infinite and full of possibilities.
When he explained, things changed. Or they might change.
There was no way to know they'd change for the better.
"Can I pour you a glass of the wine?" she asked. "Thank you for bringing it. I haven't seen this brand before."
"Corkscrew?" he asked, and set about with it while she put the pizza onto plates, something she'd never consider when alone, and fetched a green salad out of
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