Renegade by Elaine Barbieri

barn and started back toward the ranch house. It did not occur to him that he had approached the house silently, or that he had opened the door quietly, too—until he walked in on the sight of Samantha rummaging frantically through his desk.
    Stunned, Matt demanded, “What are you looking for, Samantha?”
    Samantha turned toward him guiltily. Obviously taken aback, she stammered before managing, “I was looking for some paper. I wanted to send a note to the bartender at the Trail’s End explaining that I’d be back to work tomorrow at the latest.”
    “How did you expect to deliver your note?”
    “I…I guess I didn’t think that far.”
    “No, I don’t suppose you did.” The lines of Matt’s face tightened as he demanded softly, “I need to know the truth, Samantha. Why were you searching my desk? What did you expect to find? Money, maybe, or something valuable that would make the night we spent together profitable?”
    Samantha gasped.
    “Tell me the truth.”
    The truth…she couldn’t.
    Matt stood silently as Samantha remained motionless. He repeated, “I need to hear the truth, Samantha.”
    Speaking abruptly from the heart, Samantha replied, “The truth is that the night we spent together was more than I ever dreamed it could be. It was so wonderful that I didn’t truly believe it could happen again—and then I realized it probably wouldn’t. The truth is that you’re betrothed to someone else that you love in a way you don’t love me, and that I refuse to be the woman on the side for any man—even you. The truth is that we don’t really have a future together, and that truth is more than I can bear.”
    Matt paled.
    Samantha managed a shaky smile as she whispered more softly, “I think I should go back to town now. You did shoe my horse, didn’t you?”
    Matt nodded.
    Samantha glanced at the chair where she had thrown her hat. Grateful that she was otherwise dressed, she felt her smile wobble as she reached for it and said, “I suppose there’s nothing left to say.”
    Matt grasped her arm before she took two steps toward the door. He whispered unexpectedly, “Don’t go.”
    “I must.”
    “I’m sorry.”
    “I asked you not to apologize to me again.”
    Matt gripped Samantha’s arms more tightly. “Everything you said about me is true. I am betrothed to another woman…a wonderful other woman who I don’t want to hurt.”
    Samantha began trembling. She had known this was coming. She had been warned.
    “But now faced with your leaving, I realize I don’t want to let you go, either.” He swallowed tightly. “I’m going to tell Jenny about us as soon as possible.”
    “No…I mean yes…I mean—” Samantha shook her head. “I don’t know what I mean.”
    Matt drew her closer. His lips only inches from hers, he whispered intently, “There’s another truth that you didn’t mention—the truth that none of this really matters. It only matters what we feel. What do you feel, Samantha?” Matt’s light eyes mesmerized her as he asked softly, “Do you want me the same way I want you, with a driving desperation that makes you forget everything else? Do you want me to make love to you until the rest of the world becomes a shadow and the moment is all that’s important? Because that’s what I want.”
    Samantha stared at Matt, her throat too thick to immediately respond. Yes, she loved him. Yes, she wanted him. Yes, she needed him. Yes, she wanted all the things he wanted, no matter the cost, although the cost was turning out to be heavier than she had ever imagined it could be.
    But then, she had silently answered all his questions beyond doubt.
    In the absence of a response she could not utter, Samantha slid her arms around Matt’s neck and pressed her mouth to his. Her need deepened whenhe returned her kiss, returned her caresses, and then drew her tight against him before carrying her to his bed.
    The loving took over—a thoughtless, driving, passionate love.
    “What