stomach with anxiety.” I tried to make my voice as gentle as possible. “My amnesia is permanent. I’m never going to remember you. I will just end up hurting you over and over again, like I did Teddy.”
“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Ryan argued. “You’ve never disappointed me. We were strangers once before and it turned out okay. We’ll be fine again.”
I shook my head. He wasn’t going to talk me into this. He didn’t understand. “We can’t go back to the way things were. That’s impossible. Please don’t ask me to try. Don’t pressure me to feel the way you do. I know from experience that it will never work. Try to remember that you are a stranger to me. You might love me, but I only just met you today .”
I sat back and steeled my heart against the look of anguish I knew was coming. I was no stranger to heartbreak. I’d hurt Teddy so many times I’d lost count. It never got easier to see. But Ryan surprised me. He looked me over with a calculating expression and then said “okay,” as if he’d come up with some kind of plan. “Let’s say—hypothetically—that some random guy on the street asked you out tomorrow.”
I couldn’t fathom where this was going, but he wasn’t sitting there sulking and heartbroken, so I decided to play along. “Okay…?”
“Would you go out with him?” Ryan asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Would you go on a date if someone asked you out?” He scanned the plane and pointed to the cute Hawaiian guy. “Eyes, for example. Eyes has never met you before. If you’d sat next to him instead of me, and over the course of the flight you got to talking and he asked you to get a cup of coffee together when we reach Colorado, would you go out with him?”
Eyes was a good-looking guy—though with Ryan Miller sitting next to me, it hardly seemed fair to judge anyone else’s looks. But his looks didn’t matter. I knew what Ryan was getting at, and, after thinking about it for a moment, I decided that I would.
“Yeah, I think I might,” I admitted. “It would be nice to get to know someone who didn’t know the old me and had no preset expectations. You don’t understand what the pressure is like to have to try and act like myself when I don’t know who that is.”
Eyes glanced up then and gave me a big, bright smile. The twinkle in his soft brown eyes made the nickname ring true. “It’s a date, Angel.”
Startled by the response, I glanced around the plane and realized that everyone was listening to our conversation. Nosy much? Though, I couldn’t blame them for their curiosity, and it’s not like this ride came with any other in-flight entertainment. Besides, I couldn’t really judge. I had superhearing. I was a master eavesdropper.
When I rolled my eyes at them all, Ryan chuckled. “It was hypothetical , Eyes,” he joked. “Don’t get any ideas.”
I looked back up at Ryan, and he beamed a smile at me so big and bright that it seemed to warm the entire cabin. Somehow, though my troubles were far from solved, that single smile and the sparkle in his eyes made my heart feel lighter. “So what we need to do, then,” he said, excitement creeping into his voice, “isn’t help you remember Jamie Baker. We need to help you get to know Jamie Baker.”
I opened my mouth and shut it again as I processed his words. I’d never thought about it like that before. Ryan patted my hand and said, “Okay, here’s how it’s going to go. From now on I’m not Ryan Miller, your fiancé who loves you more than life itself and has spent the last six months looking for you and refusing to believe that you were dead. I’m just a random guy on a plane who hit the lottery when it comes to seatmates. I have no expectations, and there’s no pressure for you to like me back. I’m just a friendly guy, curious to talk to the amazingly hot woman sitting next to me.”
It was a really sweet thought, but I was skeptical. “I’m not
“I don’t think you’re giving yourself enough credit,” Ryan argued. “You’ve never disappointed me. We were strangers once before and it turned out okay. We’ll be fine again.”
I shook my head. He wasn’t going to talk me into this. He didn’t understand. “We can’t go back to the way things were. That’s impossible. Please don’t ask me to try. Don’t pressure me to feel the way you do. I know from experience that it will never work. Try to remember that you are a stranger to me. You might love me, but I only just met you today .”
I sat back and steeled my heart against the look of anguish I knew was coming. I was no stranger to heartbreak. I’d hurt Teddy so many times I’d lost count. It never got easier to see. But Ryan surprised me. He looked me over with a calculating expression and then said “okay,” as if he’d come up with some kind of plan. “Let’s say—hypothetically—that some random guy on the street asked you out tomorrow.”
I couldn’t fathom where this was going, but he wasn’t sitting there sulking and heartbroken, so I decided to play along. “Okay…?”
“Would you go out with him?” Ryan asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Would you go on a date if someone asked you out?” He scanned the plane and pointed to the cute Hawaiian guy. “Eyes, for example. Eyes has never met you before. If you’d sat next to him instead of me, and over the course of the flight you got to talking and he asked you to get a cup of coffee together when we reach Colorado, would you go out with him?”
Eyes was a good-looking guy—though with Ryan Miller sitting next to me, it hardly seemed fair to judge anyone else’s looks. But his looks didn’t matter. I knew what Ryan was getting at, and, after thinking about it for a moment, I decided that I would.
“Yeah, I think I might,” I admitted. “It would be nice to get to know someone who didn’t know the old me and had no preset expectations. You don’t understand what the pressure is like to have to try and act like myself when I don’t know who that is.”
Eyes glanced up then and gave me a big, bright smile. The twinkle in his soft brown eyes made the nickname ring true. “It’s a date, Angel.”
Startled by the response, I glanced around the plane and realized that everyone was listening to our conversation. Nosy much? Though, I couldn’t blame them for their curiosity, and it’s not like this ride came with any other in-flight entertainment. Besides, I couldn’t really judge. I had superhearing. I was a master eavesdropper.
When I rolled my eyes at them all, Ryan chuckled. “It was hypothetical , Eyes,” he joked. “Don’t get any ideas.”
I looked back up at Ryan, and he beamed a smile at me so big and bright that it seemed to warm the entire cabin. Somehow, though my troubles were far from solved, that single smile and the sparkle in his eyes made my heart feel lighter. “So what we need to do, then,” he said, excitement creeping into his voice, “isn’t help you remember Jamie Baker. We need to help you get to know Jamie Baker.”
I opened my mouth and shut it again as I processed his words. I’d never thought about it like that before. Ryan patted my hand and said, “Okay, here’s how it’s going to go. From now on I’m not Ryan Miller, your fiancé who loves you more than life itself and has spent the last six months looking for you and refusing to believe that you were dead. I’m just a random guy on a plane who hit the lottery when it comes to seatmates. I have no expectations, and there’s no pressure for you to like me back. I’m just a friendly guy, curious to talk to the amazingly hot woman sitting next to me.”
It was a really sweet thought, but I was skeptical. “I’m not
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