Joanie’s smile vanishes just as she disappears somewhere behind the wheelchair.
The nurse continues to push my wheelchair forward, but everything moves in slow motion compared to my racing heartbeat. She’s going to tell Chris everything and this time I’ll lose him forever.
“Claire.”
Adam’s voice shakes the memory loose and I open my eyes to find him sitting next to me instead of lying on top of me. Cool tears stream down my temples and into my hair. I quickly wiped them away before I sit up and curl my legs into my chest.
“What happened?” I ask as I stare at the foot of the bed to avoid looking at him.
I don’t want to see the expression on his face. I don’t want to see just how crazy he thinks I am.
“Nothing. You squeezed your eyes shut and started crying. Nothing happened. I swear.”
I feel exposed, emotionally and physically. I want to gather my clothes and get out of here, but I’m too afraid to move.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I shake my head as I straighten my legs out in front of me and pull the sheet up to my chest to cover myself. “You think you want to know what happened—what made me drop out—but you don’t understand that if I tell you you’ll want nothing more to do with me.”
“You don’t know that.”
He brushes my messy hair out of my eyes and the look in his eyes breaks my heart. I will never tell him.
“Come here,” he whispers as he pulls me into his arms.
As soon as I press the side of my face to his shoulder, the tears come again. What the hell was I thinking? Enough time hasn’t passed since that day in the hospital. I should have known it was too soon.
Chapter Twelve
Relentless Waves
After Saturday’s breakdown, I’m shocked that he still wants me to go to the beach with him on Wednesday night, my only day off from the café this week. I spend all day Wednesday at the apartment. I immediately get caught up in an endless loop of watching recorded episodes of Vampire Diaries , doing laundry, and meditating. By the time Senia gets home early from work, I’ve washed all our clothes and linens and meditated four times. I haven’t felt this relaxed in weeks.
She hangs her purse up on the peg inside the coat closet and plops down next to me on the sofa. “I can’t work with him anymore!”
I know she’s referring to her dad. He spoils her financially, but he’s also extremely controlling. Growing up, her father dictated what Senia and her two sisters wore, ate, and who they befriended up until they graduated from high school. She wasn’t allowed to date until her senior year and only then because her date was a friend of the family. When she got to UNC two years ago, she was a completely different person than she is now. She was scared and shy, but it didn’t take long for the real Senia to emerge. In the beginning of our freshman year, it was the alcohol that brought her out. Eventually she stopped getting drunk every weekend.
The first time she talked back to her father was when he refused to put the pink slip for her car in her name. She knew he only wanted the car in his name so he could use the car as a means to control her. From the moment she told him to fuck off their relationship changed. He now only speaks to her when he needs to for work purposes. Their relationship is almost enough to make me grateful I never knew my father.
“What did he do today?” I ask as I reach for the remote.
“Why do you ask like that, like you’re tired of hearing me complain about my job?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give off that vibe. I guess it was just a bad word choice. I should have left off ‘today’.”
Senia sighs as she puts her feet up on the coffee table. “It’s okay. I’m just really annoyed right now. He wants me to move back in this weekend. I told him there’s still four more weeks before the semester starts, but he said he would take my car away if I don’t go back to working at the main office,
The nurse continues to push my wheelchair forward, but everything moves in slow motion compared to my racing heartbeat. She’s going to tell Chris everything and this time I’ll lose him forever.
“Claire.”
Adam’s voice shakes the memory loose and I open my eyes to find him sitting next to me instead of lying on top of me. Cool tears stream down my temples and into my hair. I quickly wiped them away before I sit up and curl my legs into my chest.
“What happened?” I ask as I stare at the foot of the bed to avoid looking at him.
I don’t want to see the expression on his face. I don’t want to see just how crazy he thinks I am.
“Nothing. You squeezed your eyes shut and started crying. Nothing happened. I swear.”
I feel exposed, emotionally and physically. I want to gather my clothes and get out of here, but I’m too afraid to move.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I shake my head as I straighten my legs out in front of me and pull the sheet up to my chest to cover myself. “You think you want to know what happened—what made me drop out—but you don’t understand that if I tell you you’ll want nothing more to do with me.”
“You don’t know that.”
He brushes my messy hair out of my eyes and the look in his eyes breaks my heart. I will never tell him.
“Come here,” he whispers as he pulls me into his arms.
As soon as I press the side of my face to his shoulder, the tears come again. What the hell was I thinking? Enough time hasn’t passed since that day in the hospital. I should have known it was too soon.
Chapter Twelve
Relentless Waves
After Saturday’s breakdown, I’m shocked that he still wants me to go to the beach with him on Wednesday night, my only day off from the café this week. I spend all day Wednesday at the apartment. I immediately get caught up in an endless loop of watching recorded episodes of Vampire Diaries , doing laundry, and meditating. By the time Senia gets home early from work, I’ve washed all our clothes and linens and meditated four times. I haven’t felt this relaxed in weeks.
She hangs her purse up on the peg inside the coat closet and plops down next to me on the sofa. “I can’t work with him anymore!”
I know she’s referring to her dad. He spoils her financially, but he’s also extremely controlling. Growing up, her father dictated what Senia and her two sisters wore, ate, and who they befriended up until they graduated from high school. She wasn’t allowed to date until her senior year and only then because her date was a friend of the family. When she got to UNC two years ago, she was a completely different person than she is now. She was scared and shy, but it didn’t take long for the real Senia to emerge. In the beginning of our freshman year, it was the alcohol that brought her out. Eventually she stopped getting drunk every weekend.
The first time she talked back to her father was when he refused to put the pink slip for her car in her name. She knew he only wanted the car in his name so he could use the car as a means to control her. From the moment she told him to fuck off their relationship changed. He now only speaks to her when he needs to for work purposes. Their relationship is almost enough to make me grateful I never knew my father.
“What did he do today?” I ask as I reach for the remote.
“Why do you ask like that, like you’re tired of hearing me complain about my job?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to give off that vibe. I guess it was just a bad word choice. I should have left off ‘today’.”
Senia sighs as she puts her feet up on the coffee table. “It’s okay. I’m just really annoyed right now. He wants me to move back in this weekend. I told him there’s still four more weeks before the semester starts, but he said he would take my car away if I don’t go back to working at the main office,
Similar Books
