to help him. “He didn’t want you to come back, did he?”
Daniel did not reply immediately, but still she did not look up at him. Her own stomach felt queasy at the thought of what he must be going through—and she was surprised at just how distressing recent events were for her.
“No, he didn’t.” Another pause. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have, but then... but then I met you. I had something to...” The pause was a long one, him struggling to find the word to say, repressing others. “I had something to fight for.”
“Is that why he hates me?”
“He doesn’t hate you...”
Don’t defend him, Daniel, she thought to herself harshly. But she did not contradict him. His own words died in his throat, as though he was aware he had broken his promise to her in however small a way. I don’t lie. Not to you .
Before he could speak again, the two of them heard his phone coming from the lounge area. As Daniel’s body began to shift, Kris held on to his waist and now she looked up at him, pleading. “Leave it,” she said. “Please.”
Yet his face bore an expression both slightly embarrassed and resigned. “I’d better,” he said quietly.
As he walked through to the other room, naked and firm, his body still lean whereas her own had begun to display a feminine softness that worried her slightly if she told the truth, at the same time she had never seen him look so small , as though he had shrunk into himself slightly. When he picked up the phone, he turned to the door and closed her out. She could hear his mumbled conversation beyond the door, and she huddled on the bed, pulling the duvet across herself, pressing it to her stomach. Christ! Why was she so nervous? Why did she have such a feeling of nausea?
At last he came through. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” he said, grimly. “That was Felix. There’s something I need to do today. I’m sorry.”
He went to the wardrobe and began to pull out a shirt and suit, quiet and concentrating. Unable to answer for a moment, Kris simply lay on the bed, watching him a little miserably while he began to get ready. Don’t go, she thought silently. Stay. It wasn’t selfish to want him, she told herself. This was her honeymoon. Why couldn’t the rest of the world just fuck off and leave Daniel Stone alone for two weeks—two weeks! That was all she wanted. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough, but it was a start.
Perturbed by her silence, Daniel looked back to her. He had forced himself into some sort of resolution, but when he saw the look on her face, and her arm pressed to her stomach, he frowned.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He was unwilling to enter into an argument with her, but he could not hide his concern.
She nodded. “It’s okay. I’m just feeling a bit sick. Sorry, I know it’s stupid, it’s just that all this is making me nervous, I guess.”
He nodded solemnly, then turned away again, unable to look at her. “I’ll make it up to you,” he said. “I need to see someone, though. I thought I could put them off, till the end of our vacation at least, but I need to keep Felix off my back for the moment.”
Aha, thought Kris, somewhat sullenly. So that was why he had brought her here. I may not tell you everything, but I don’t lie . So when, if ever, had he been intending to tell her of this meeting, that even his honeymoon was not to be free from business? For the first time in a very long period, part of her felt like shouting at him, screaming, beginning an argument just for the sake of it. But she felt too sick now, too unhappy.
“Can you see Elaine and your friends back to the airport? Offer them my apologies, please.” He was courteous and clipped but already distant as he pulled on his trousers and jacket. Sitting on the bed, reaching for his shoes, he had transformed before her. The mask had come down and he was prepared for whatever it was the day would bring—but without her.
Yet when he looked back at her,
Daniel did not reply immediately, but still she did not look up at him. Her own stomach felt queasy at the thought of what he must be going through—and she was surprised at just how distressing recent events were for her.
“No, he didn’t.” Another pause. “Perhaps I wouldn’t have, but then... but then I met you. I had something to...” The pause was a long one, him struggling to find the word to say, repressing others. “I had something to fight for.”
“Is that why he hates me?”
“He doesn’t hate you...”
Don’t defend him, Daniel, she thought to herself harshly. But she did not contradict him. His own words died in his throat, as though he was aware he had broken his promise to her in however small a way. I don’t lie. Not to you .
Before he could speak again, the two of them heard his phone coming from the lounge area. As Daniel’s body began to shift, Kris held on to his waist and now she looked up at him, pleading. “Leave it,” she said. “Please.”
Yet his face bore an expression both slightly embarrassed and resigned. “I’d better,” he said quietly.
As he walked through to the other room, naked and firm, his body still lean whereas her own had begun to display a feminine softness that worried her slightly if she told the truth, at the same time she had never seen him look so small , as though he had shrunk into himself slightly. When he picked up the phone, he turned to the door and closed her out. She could hear his mumbled conversation beyond the door, and she huddled on the bed, pulling the duvet across herself, pressing it to her stomach. Christ! Why was she so nervous? Why did she have such a feeling of nausea?
At last he came through. “Speak of the devil and he shall appear,” he said, grimly. “That was Felix. There’s something I need to do today. I’m sorry.”
He went to the wardrobe and began to pull out a shirt and suit, quiet and concentrating. Unable to answer for a moment, Kris simply lay on the bed, watching him a little miserably while he began to get ready. Don’t go, she thought silently. Stay. It wasn’t selfish to want him, she told herself. This was her honeymoon. Why couldn’t the rest of the world just fuck off and leave Daniel Stone alone for two weeks—two weeks! That was all she wanted. It wasn’t enough, it was never enough, but it was a start.
Perturbed by her silence, Daniel looked back to her. He had forced himself into some sort of resolution, but when he saw the look on her face, and her arm pressed to her stomach, he frowned.
“Are you okay?” he asked. He was unwilling to enter into an argument with her, but he could not hide his concern.
She nodded. “It’s okay. I’m just feeling a bit sick. Sorry, I know it’s stupid, it’s just that all this is making me nervous, I guess.”
He nodded solemnly, then turned away again, unable to look at her. “I’ll make it up to you,” he said. “I need to see someone, though. I thought I could put them off, till the end of our vacation at least, but I need to keep Felix off my back for the moment.”
Aha, thought Kris, somewhat sullenly. So that was why he had brought her here. I may not tell you everything, but I don’t lie . So when, if ever, had he been intending to tell her of this meeting, that even his honeymoon was not to be free from business? For the first time in a very long period, part of her felt like shouting at him, screaming, beginning an argument just for the sake of it. But she felt too sick now, too unhappy.
“Can you see Elaine and your friends back to the airport? Offer them my apologies, please.” He was courteous and clipped but already distant as he pulled on his trousers and jacket. Sitting on the bed, reaching for his shoes, he had transformed before her. The mask had come down and he was prepared for whatever it was the day would bring—but without her.
Yet when he looked back at her,
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