Redeeming Heart by Pat Simmons

but his
face was unreadable, so he continued. “When Brittani became
pregnant, she had to come clean about our affair. Garrett hadn’t
violated her like I did, but she wasn’t a virgin either. To save
face, she pleaded with Garrett to spare her the double humiliation.
He refused…and I didn’t love her, so of course marriage wasn’t an
option for me either. Brittani’s recourse after delivering twin
boys was to threaten to keep them away from the family. That was a
major blow to the Miller clan where the girls outnumber the boys
nine to one. The stress had been too much that Grandpa Moses
suffered a heart attack.” Landon choked. He had been a horrible
person and the more he talked about his deeds, the more he hated
himself.
    Rossi gently slapped him on the back, then
rubbed his neck. “It’s all right, man. Who am I to judge God’s
servant? We were all born in sin. That’s why we have to repent and
be baptized in water and God’s spirit. That is the only way.”
    “I know.” Landon nodded. “There’s more,” he
said as Rossi removed his hand. “I was so forgone that I didn’t
realize I had picked up demons along the way. Garrett’s new
girlfriend discerned them when I recklessly brought a false prophet
to the hospital to pray for my critically ill grandfather.” Landon
sat there, listening to the rhythmic sound of crickets. With the
crowd dispersed, everything seemed surreal.
    “Anything else?” Rossi asked.
    Landon grunted. “Haven’t I done enough
damage?”
    “The cross is stained with our dirty deeds.
God has nothing but compassion—” He held up his finger—”unless you
try and play Him. That’s what repentance is for, so I’m going to
pray for you, because your actions caused a crack in your spiritual
armor. The devil widened the gap and invited a slew of demons with
a mission to destroy you.”
    “Yep.” Landon looked down at his linked
hands. “I thought about ending it all when I lost my job, condo and
car…”
    “That was the angel fighting for your soul.
It’s time to turn your life around. Repent—”
    “I feel like I’m too far gone. I wonder if my
sorry is genuine enough. I’ve been compared to Esau and maybe I’m
more like him than I realize. He couldn’t repent either.”
    They both paused and watched as a couple of
men transported the remaining stacks of chairs to the vans, then
Rossi turned back to him. “Hebrews 12:17 said ‘Esau found no place
for repentance, though he sought for it with tears.’ Boo-hooing
doesn’t impress God if a person isn’t sincere. Jesus can restore
you, if you want to be restored, but in order for that to happen,
you need to give your life back to Christ—not only read, but
meditate on the Word, come to church and listen to God.”
    “Oh, trust me, God hasn’t stopped talking to
me, although I’ve tried my best not to listen. I guess I’d better
start.”
    “Good.” Rossi stood. “Let’s get out of
here.”
    “I appreciate you listening and not judging
me. The Bible says to ‘judge yourself,’ and I’ve done that. I don’t
like what I see.”
    “You have a free ride to church, if you’re
committed,” Rossi offered.
    “I’ve got to. God has my attention.” As they
walked to his car, Landon stopped in his tracks, and Rossi gave him
an odd look.
    “What?”
    “Octavia…” Landon rubbed his jaw. “I have the
nerve to be attracted to a godly woman and I don’t know what to do
about it.”
    “There are Jezebels in the church, and there
are Octavias who really love God. She may seem naive, but she has
the favor of God on her life and wisdom.” Rossi paused to thank the
workers along the way, then turned back to Landon. “If you’re the
one who God has for her, then I pity you more than her. Remember a
rose is delicate, but it still has thorns. Octavia won’t allow you
to hurt her. And to be honest, neither will I.”
    Landon respected Rossi for saying that.
“Besides not having anything to offer her, once I