sure your nails are trimmed. For extra points, file them to avoid scraping any sharp edges across her delicate petals (ouch).
Take a Bathroom Break Before You Begin
This holds true for both genders, but women have added reason to hit the john before the games begin. As we mentioned earlier, stimulation of the G-spot, A-spot, or U-spot may prompt women to ejaculate—yet many women block this sensation since it feels strikingly similar to the need to pee. If she relieves herself ahead of time, however, she’ll know that any calls of nature she gets in the midst of it all are probably fake, and that what’s really happening is you’ve just hit an extra-sensitive area that could soon get her gushing.
Sex and Drugs Don’t Mix
One glass of wine might help her unwind, but a few Long Island Iced Teas will get her bombed, not turned on. Not only does alcohol numb the nerves; it’s also a diuretic that will desiccate her body’s natural water supply—including the reserves she’s got down below. Of course, you can use store-bought lubricant, but she won’t appreciate your handiwork half as much if she’s sloshed. Also keep in mind that certain prescription medications—such as antidepressants—can cause numbness and make orgasm difficult. If she thinks her meds are cramping the fun, she can talk to her doctor about switching to ones with fewer sexual side effects.
Sweet-talk Her Sweet Spot
As silly as it sounds, many women are worried their vaginas look, smell, or taste funny. And this self-consciousness can keep her from enjoying all the attention you’re lavishing down there. To ease her embarrassment, pay her privates a compliment. A simple “It’s beautiful” or “I love the way you smell/taste/feel” will perk up her sexual self-confidence and her satisfaction levels as well.
Request a Hands-on Demonstration
It’s simple: Nobody knows how to play her pipe organs like she does. So if you really want to learn how and where she likes to be touched, watching her masturbate will be your best tutorial ever. We’re not saying you should sit there and take notes; rather, treat it like a feast for the eyes by telling her what a turn-on it is to see her pleasure herself. If she’s too shy to put on a show, she might feel less self-consciousif you both masturbate in front of each other. Another alternative is to put your hands on her privates then ask her to place her hands on top of yours and move them the way she likes. No matter how you conduct class, you’re bound to learn by example.
This Delicate Tulip Is Actually Anything But
While it’s true you’ll want to treat the ultra-sensitive clitoris with care and tread lightly there, the rest of a woman’s genitals are actually much sturdier than you might think. Many of the techniques we teach in the next chapter require that you pinch, slap, and stretch things in ways that might first make you wonder Whoa, won’t that hurt? But in our experience, people more often err on the side of using too light or tentative a touch—and the effects can feel irritating rather than arousing, like an itch she wants to scratch. So don’t be afraid to handle her vulva with confidence. For additional guidance, ask, “Does that hurt or do you want me to keep going?” and adjust your touch accordingly.
Don’t Rush It
A woman’s motor often takes time to warm up—which is probably why the most common mistake people make is to try to move things along at too quick a clip. No matter how slow you’re going, go more slowly. Think like a painter and make every stroke count. Your goal is not so much to give her an orgasm but to allow her orgasm to come to you. To make sure you proceed at her pace, ask for her feedback, or take cues from her body language: If her hips seem to be pulling away you’re coming on too strong; if they rise to meet you consider that a green light.
Ask Before You Enter
Think about it: Before you enter a room, it’s only polite to knock. Same
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