heart.
"I didn't want to be alone Thursday night after the incident at the club. I convinced him to come inside and sit down. He comforted me, and we passed out on the couch together. He woke up agitated and possessed. He said he had to have me right then, and I didn't have the willpower or desire to stop him. I wanted him too."
"The second I saw Shane, I knew you would be into him. He's an ex-military man who's got to have some mad muscles underneath those suits. Was it hot?"
"Dear god, yes, it was sweltering! He's so fuckin' sexy and relentless, everything I've ever fantasized about. He's," she smiles and her eyes light up, "creative to say the least, and he has no inhibitions about sex. Total opposite of Greg." She fans herself with her hand.
Yeah, I know what she means by creative. Jacade can find any item and use it to restrain me. I bet he could tie me down with silly string.
"But I don't think it'll happen again. It was a spur of the moment thing. He left in an awkward huff. I think he felt bad he let his guard down while he was on duty." She pauses and gives me a half smile. "Do you remember the night we played drunken puzzles?"
"Of course. We were snowed in our dorm room and couldn't go out to the bars. What were the rules again?"
"It's been a few years, but I think we used a fifty-piece puzzle I got from my grandmother in the mail. We put together all the pieces of the frame, picked a random piece, and tried to place it. If it didn't fit, we had to drink a shot of Mad Dog 20/20."
"That's right. I was hammered by the end." I throw my head back laughing.
"We both were."
"Who even won?" My voice cracks.
"Well, I passed out, at least I think I did, so by default, you did." Our laughter fills the room. "Stop it. I'm trying to make my fourth point here."
"You first."
"Okay, okay, okay." The humor on her face morphs to an earnest and loving smile. Her hands return to my shoulders and squeeze.
"Life is like our drunken puzzle game. We meander through, not knowing which pieces will fit and which ones won't. Sometimes taking shots of unpleasant and cheap booze to cope with the conflicting edges."
Where ya going with this, Bryn? I know she must have a point somewhere in here.
"Your life has been this way. Some of the pieces would fit but most were pretty shitty. You fought tooth and nail to get all the pieces of your life to come together. Yet, you're still waiting for the most important one."
She blinks and inhales.
"The one that fits right here." She presses her finger over my heart. "Jacade's your last piece, honey, the one who completes your whole life's puzzle."
Goodness gracious gerdy. She's going to make me ugly cry.
My hand flies to my mouth and tears fill my eyes.
"Oh, don't cry. Then I will too!" She laughs and cries at the same time. The last time we cried together was when she miscarried halfway through her pregnancy. She mourned on this same couch. We held each other and rocked our way through the quagmire.
"Hold on. I want to say this." She focuses her gaze on me. "Ivy, you've always felt you don't warrant someone's love." I open my mouth, but she stops me with a raised hand and a stern look.
"No, let me finish. Your parents abandoned you, and, let's be honest, all your foster parents sucked royally. From what I've seen of Viktor, you've put up with more than your share of crap for one lifetime. And don't even get me started on Kevin and how he played on your insecurities." She rolls her eyes. "Thursday night, Jacade was not gonna let Viktor get anywhere near you. His face looked like he was being burnt by a blowtorch from the inside when Viktor said he wanted you."
She pauses and takes a deep breath. "Maybe it's the divorce and seeing the world from a different point of view. I'm not sure. But I've come to a new understanding of love. Love can't be sunshiny rainbows and fairy dust all the time. It's wonderful and messy, passionate and calm, happy and angry."
She swallows and wipes a
"I didn't want to be alone Thursday night after the incident at the club. I convinced him to come inside and sit down. He comforted me, and we passed out on the couch together. He woke up agitated and possessed. He said he had to have me right then, and I didn't have the willpower or desire to stop him. I wanted him too."
"The second I saw Shane, I knew you would be into him. He's an ex-military man who's got to have some mad muscles underneath those suits. Was it hot?"
"Dear god, yes, it was sweltering! He's so fuckin' sexy and relentless, everything I've ever fantasized about. He's," she smiles and her eyes light up, "creative to say the least, and he has no inhibitions about sex. Total opposite of Greg." She fans herself with her hand.
Yeah, I know what she means by creative. Jacade can find any item and use it to restrain me. I bet he could tie me down with silly string.
"But I don't think it'll happen again. It was a spur of the moment thing. He left in an awkward huff. I think he felt bad he let his guard down while he was on duty." She pauses and gives me a half smile. "Do you remember the night we played drunken puzzles?"
"Of course. We were snowed in our dorm room and couldn't go out to the bars. What were the rules again?"
"It's been a few years, but I think we used a fifty-piece puzzle I got from my grandmother in the mail. We put together all the pieces of the frame, picked a random piece, and tried to place it. If it didn't fit, we had to drink a shot of Mad Dog 20/20."
"That's right. I was hammered by the end." I throw my head back laughing.
"We both were."
"Who even won?" My voice cracks.
"Well, I passed out, at least I think I did, so by default, you did." Our laughter fills the room. "Stop it. I'm trying to make my fourth point here."
"You first."
"Okay, okay, okay." The humor on her face morphs to an earnest and loving smile. Her hands return to my shoulders and squeeze.
"Life is like our drunken puzzle game. We meander through, not knowing which pieces will fit and which ones won't. Sometimes taking shots of unpleasant and cheap booze to cope with the conflicting edges."
Where ya going with this, Bryn? I know she must have a point somewhere in here.
"Your life has been this way. Some of the pieces would fit but most were pretty shitty. You fought tooth and nail to get all the pieces of your life to come together. Yet, you're still waiting for the most important one."
She blinks and inhales.
"The one that fits right here." She presses her finger over my heart. "Jacade's your last piece, honey, the one who completes your whole life's puzzle."
Goodness gracious gerdy. She's going to make me ugly cry.
My hand flies to my mouth and tears fill my eyes.
"Oh, don't cry. Then I will too!" She laughs and cries at the same time. The last time we cried together was when she miscarried halfway through her pregnancy. She mourned on this same couch. We held each other and rocked our way through the quagmire.
"Hold on. I want to say this." She focuses her gaze on me. "Ivy, you've always felt you don't warrant someone's love." I open my mouth, but she stops me with a raised hand and a stern look.
"No, let me finish. Your parents abandoned you, and, let's be honest, all your foster parents sucked royally. From what I've seen of Viktor, you've put up with more than your share of crap for one lifetime. And don't even get me started on Kevin and how he played on your insecurities." She rolls her eyes. "Thursday night, Jacade was not gonna let Viktor get anywhere near you. His face looked like he was being burnt by a blowtorch from the inside when Viktor said he wanted you."
She pauses and takes a deep breath. "Maybe it's the divorce and seeing the world from a different point of view. I'm not sure. But I've come to a new understanding of love. Love can't be sunshiny rainbows and fairy dust all the time. It's wonderful and messy, passionate and calm, happy and angry."
She swallows and wipes a
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