jackass, in case you didn’t hear.” He strolled over to the coolers and grabbed a bottle of orange-raspberry juice. Just saying her name electrified him.
“Jesus. No girls for the whole weekend.” Heath followed him back toward the table near the fireplace where some of the other guys were sitting. “How fucked up is that?”
“Very,” answered Alan St. Girard between giant slurps of his chocolate milk. “I feel like I’m in
School Ties
or something.”
“There are other girls around, you know.” Ryan Reynolds sighed, not really believing it.
“Yeah, but no good ones.”
“Since when did you differentiate?” Heath peeled open his banana and flicked the peel at Alan, then ducked before Alan’s apple core could smack him in the face.
Excellent, thought
Brandon.
They’re like a bunch of gorillas. Take the girls away and soon they’ll start eating each other.
“I don’t know if I can make it through the weekend without getting a glimpse of one of Tinsley’s short skirts. She’s better than Skinemax.” Ryan stuffed his chocolate chip cookie into his mouth whole.
“Think about it. All the hotties trapped inside with our beer?” Heath slapped himself on the forehead. “It’s going to be legendary. We
have
to get in there.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” Julian asked. The guys had seemed to forget already that he was a freshman and had accepted him into the fold. Normally, if a freshman wanted to hang out with upperclassmen, he’d have to do their laundry or give them weed or something. But Julian was cool, and all the guys wanted him on their intramural basketball teams for winter, so they’d sort of silently forgiven him for being so young. “We can’t exactly knock on the front door.”
“Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT!” Heath jumped up from his seat, sending his glass of water sploshing over onto Brandon’s half-eaten sandwich. “What about the tunnels? Are they real? Does anyone know?”
“What are the tunnels?” Julian leaned forward eagerly. This was a story he hadn’t heard.
Alan ran his fingers over his unshaven chin. It looked like a blond Brillo pad. “I thought those were just rumors.”
“No, they’re real.” Brandon picked up his sopped sandwich and tossed it onto Heath’s tray. “They were built to go between the dorms and the classrooms back during the cold war or something… .”
“It wasn’t a war thing—they dug them so the students could avoid this fucking numb-nuts Yankee weather.” Easy Walsh spoke up for the first time, having been too busy shoveling chicken strips into his mouth to join the conversation.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Tunnels Expert?
Brandon thought. “Well, either way … they’ve been closed up for years.”
“Yeah, but my brothers used to talk about breaking into them and hanging out there to drink.” Easy shrugged. The collar of his stained white polo shirt was coming apart at the seam. “So there’s got to be a way in somehow.”
“So you can see J-E-N-N-Y?” Ryan poured half a glass of Sprite into his orange juice and swirled it with a spoon. “If I knew I was getting some of
that
ass, I’d be pretty determined too.”
“I think the only ass you’ll be getting is your grandma’s, so why don’t you shut the hell up and go give her a call?”
“Ladies, ladies, please.” Heath stood up. “Don’t you see? We all need to work together on this. Join forces, combine powers for the greater good.”
Brandon rolled his eyes. Heath was always going off on these comic book/superpower tangents; like his life wasn’t easy enough already, he had to think of himself as some sort of superhero. Although the only power he’d want would be X-ray vision so he could see through girls’ clothes.
“Whatever,” Ryan grumbled. “I mean, I’m in.”
Easy tossed his crumpled-up napkin on Ryan’s tray as a peace offering. “So let’s figure it out… . How do we even find the tunnels?”
“Teamwork, ladies,
“Jesus. No girls for the whole weekend.” Heath followed him back toward the table near the fireplace where some of the other guys were sitting. “How fucked up is that?”
“Very,” answered Alan St. Girard between giant slurps of his chocolate milk. “I feel like I’m in
School Ties
or something.”
“There are other girls around, you know.” Ryan Reynolds sighed, not really believing it.
“Yeah, but no good ones.”
“Since when did you differentiate?” Heath peeled open his banana and flicked the peel at Alan, then ducked before Alan’s apple core could smack him in the face.
Excellent, thought
Brandon.
They’re like a bunch of gorillas. Take the girls away and soon they’ll start eating each other.
“I don’t know if I can make it through the weekend without getting a glimpse of one of Tinsley’s short skirts. She’s better than Skinemax.” Ryan stuffed his chocolate chip cookie into his mouth whole.
“Think about it. All the hotties trapped inside with our beer?” Heath slapped himself on the forehead. “It’s going to be legendary. We
have
to get in there.”
“And how do you plan on doing that?” Julian asked. The guys had seemed to forget already that he was a freshman and had accepted him into the fold. Normally, if a freshman wanted to hang out with upperclassmen, he’d have to do their laundry or give them weed or something. But Julian was cool, and all the guys wanted him on their intramural basketball teams for winter, so they’d sort of silently forgiven him for being so young. “We can’t exactly knock on the front door.”
“Wait wait wait wait wait wait WAIT!” Heath jumped up from his seat, sending his glass of water sploshing over onto Brandon’s half-eaten sandwich. “What about the tunnels? Are they real? Does anyone know?”
“What are the tunnels?” Julian leaned forward eagerly. This was a story he hadn’t heard.
Alan ran his fingers over his unshaven chin. It looked like a blond Brillo pad. “I thought those were just rumors.”
“No, they’re real.” Brandon picked up his sopped sandwich and tossed it onto Heath’s tray. “They were built to go between the dorms and the classrooms back during the cold war or something… .”
“It wasn’t a war thing—they dug them so the students could avoid this fucking numb-nuts Yankee weather.” Easy Walsh spoke up for the first time, having been too busy shoveling chicken strips into his mouth to join the conversation.
Oh, yeah, Mr. Tunnels Expert?
Brandon thought. “Well, either way … they’ve been closed up for years.”
“Yeah, but my brothers used to talk about breaking into them and hanging out there to drink.” Easy shrugged. The collar of his stained white polo shirt was coming apart at the seam. “So there’s got to be a way in somehow.”
“So you can see J-E-N-N-Y?” Ryan poured half a glass of Sprite into his orange juice and swirled it with a spoon. “If I knew I was getting some of
that
ass, I’d be pretty determined too.”
“I think the only ass you’ll be getting is your grandma’s, so why don’t you shut the hell up and go give her a call?”
“Ladies, ladies, please.” Heath stood up. “Don’t you see? We all need to work together on this. Join forces, combine powers for the greater good.”
Brandon rolled his eyes. Heath was always going off on these comic book/superpower tangents; like his life wasn’t easy enough already, he had to think of himself as some sort of superhero. Although the only power he’d want would be X-ray vision so he could see through girls’ clothes.
“Whatever,” Ryan grumbled. “I mean, I’m in.”
Easy tossed his crumpled-up napkin on Ryan’s tray as a peace offering. “So let’s figure it out… . How do we even find the tunnels?”
“Teamwork, ladies,
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