night?"
Harriet was genuinely enraged now. She was not accustomed to anyone except Aunt Effie lecturing her and she had long ago learned to ignore much of what Effie said. Gideon was different. It was impossible to ignore him when he towered over her like this and snarled.
"I do not particularly care what people will say," Harriet declared. "I am not overly concerned with my reputation. I have no reason to be concerned with it, as I have no interest in marriage."
Gideon's eyes glittered in the shadows. "You little fool. You think the only thing you are risking is an offer of marriage which you do not want in the first place?"
"Yes."
"You are wrong." Gideon wrapped his big hand around the nape of her neck and forced her chin up higher so that she was obliged to look straight into his eyes. "You have no notion of what you are risking. You do not know what it is like to lose your reputation and your honor. If you did, you would not make such ridiculous statements."
Harriet heard the savage pain in his voice and her anger dissolved. She suddenly realized he was talking from the depths of his own bitter experience. "My lord, I did not mean to imply that one's honor was worthless. I only meant that I do not care what others say about it."
"Then you are, indeed, a fool," he rasped. "Shall I tell you what it is like to have the whole world believe you to be lacking in honor? To have your reputation torn to shreds? To know that everyone, including your own family, thinks you are not worthy of the title of gentleman?"
"Oh, Gideon." Harriet touched his hand gently.
"Shall I tell you what it's like to walk into a ballroom and know that everyone present is whispering about your past? Can you really have any notion of what it feels like to play a hand of cards at your club and wonder if someone will accuse you of cheating behind your back should you happen to win? After all, a man whose honor is in question will probably cheat at cards, will he not?"
"Gideon, please—"
"Do you know what it's like to lose your friends?"
"Well, no, but—"
"Do you know what it's like to have everyone ready to believe the worst of you?"
"Gideon, stop this."
"
Do you know what it's like to have your own father question your honor
?"
"Your own father?" Harriet was shocked.
"When you are rich and powerful," Gideon said, "no one will challenge you to your face or give you a chance to explain yourself. All the whispers are behind your back. You are left with no means of clearing your own name. And after a while you realize there is no point in even attempting to do so. No one wants the truth. All anyone wants is the chance to add more fuel to the fires of gossip. The whispers become so loud that sometimes you think you will drown in them."
"Dear heaven."
"That is what it is like to lose your honor and your reputation, Miss Harriet Pomeroy. Think well before you take any more risks." Gideon released her. "Now go on home before I decide to take you at your word and show you what it really means to ignore the world's opinion."
Harriet drew her cloak securely around her and fixed him with a steady gaze. "I would have you know that I do not believe you to be lacking in honor, my lord. I do not think a man who truly lacked honor would have such a care for mine. Or grieve so much for what he, himself, has lost. I am sorry for what you have suffered. I can see that it has caused you much pain."
"I do not want your goddamned pity," Gideon roared. "Get out of here.
Now
."
Harriet realized in that moment that there was no way to reach past the wall of rage and private anguish Gideon had built around himself. She had provoked the beast in him and he was threatening to turn on her.
Without a word Harriet walked past him to the cave entrance. There she turned once more to look at him.
"Good day, my lord. I shall look forward to the culmination of your clever plans."
Mrs. Treadwell's arrival at the rectory that afternoon set the household into a brief
Harriet was genuinely enraged now. She was not accustomed to anyone except Aunt Effie lecturing her and she had long ago learned to ignore much of what Effie said. Gideon was different. It was impossible to ignore him when he towered over her like this and snarled.
"I do not particularly care what people will say," Harriet declared. "I am not overly concerned with my reputation. I have no reason to be concerned with it, as I have no interest in marriage."
Gideon's eyes glittered in the shadows. "You little fool. You think the only thing you are risking is an offer of marriage which you do not want in the first place?"
"Yes."
"You are wrong." Gideon wrapped his big hand around the nape of her neck and forced her chin up higher so that she was obliged to look straight into his eyes. "You have no notion of what you are risking. You do not know what it is like to lose your reputation and your honor. If you did, you would not make such ridiculous statements."
Harriet heard the savage pain in his voice and her anger dissolved. She suddenly realized he was talking from the depths of his own bitter experience. "My lord, I did not mean to imply that one's honor was worthless. I only meant that I do not care what others say about it."
"Then you are, indeed, a fool," he rasped. "Shall I tell you what it is like to have the whole world believe you to be lacking in honor? To have your reputation torn to shreds? To know that everyone, including your own family, thinks you are not worthy of the title of gentleman?"
"Oh, Gideon." Harriet touched his hand gently.
"Shall I tell you what it's like to walk into a ballroom and know that everyone present is whispering about your past? Can you really have any notion of what it feels like to play a hand of cards at your club and wonder if someone will accuse you of cheating behind your back should you happen to win? After all, a man whose honor is in question will probably cheat at cards, will he not?"
"Gideon, please—"
"Do you know what it's like to lose your friends?"
"Well, no, but—"
"Do you know what it's like to have everyone ready to believe the worst of you?"
"Gideon, stop this."
"
Do you know what it's like to have your own father question your honor
?"
"Your own father?" Harriet was shocked.
"When you are rich and powerful," Gideon said, "no one will challenge you to your face or give you a chance to explain yourself. All the whispers are behind your back. You are left with no means of clearing your own name. And after a while you realize there is no point in even attempting to do so. No one wants the truth. All anyone wants is the chance to add more fuel to the fires of gossip. The whispers become so loud that sometimes you think you will drown in them."
"Dear heaven."
"That is what it is like to lose your honor and your reputation, Miss Harriet Pomeroy. Think well before you take any more risks." Gideon released her. "Now go on home before I decide to take you at your word and show you what it really means to ignore the world's opinion."
Harriet drew her cloak securely around her and fixed him with a steady gaze. "I would have you know that I do not believe you to be lacking in honor, my lord. I do not think a man who truly lacked honor would have such a care for mine. Or grieve so much for what he, himself, has lost. I am sorry for what you have suffered. I can see that it has caused you much pain."
"I do not want your goddamned pity," Gideon roared. "Get out of here.
Now
."
Harriet realized in that moment that there was no way to reach past the wall of rage and private anguish Gideon had built around himself. She had provoked the beast in him and he was threatening to turn on her.
Without a word Harriet walked past him to the cave entrance. There she turned once more to look at him.
"Good day, my lord. I shall look forward to the culmination of your clever plans."
Mrs. Treadwell's arrival at the rectory that afternoon set the household into a brief
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