it clenched and released.
If it hadn’t been so terrifying Mark would’ve laughed at the way his brothers gaped at him open-mouthed. His mom pursed her lips, then smiled and whispered that she knew. How? he’d thought. Mark wasn’t a show-and-tell type of guy and he was certain his stash of magazines was very well hidden, but she just knew, she said.
What?—like you know a good melon when you squeeze it?
His dad did a lot of throat clearing and hand wringing after the confession, but it was the way he stood and grabbed Mark in a hug so quick it was over almost before it began that calmed his son. He’d then pointed at Mark’s brothers and said, “You give him shit about this and I’ll bust your asses. He’s your brother and our son and that’s that .”
Sean and Reid did the yeah-sure-no-problem thing and sucker punched him as they left the room in a fog. In his family, if his brothers punched him, all was as well as it could be.
And they never did give him any shit about it. They all moved on pretty quickly after his revelation. Jobs. College. Relationships. For Mark “relationships” referred to a long string of untouchables—sort of like with Rafe, he realized grimly—that were too closeted, or too closed off, or too cruel, or too interested in their Karate instructor...
Mark was always the one on the chase; always the one with the hurt feelings and broken heart. At least he had support when he needed it and his parents were amazing. He had the ideal coming out story.
Christian had nothing like that and it showed.
There wasn’t much Mark could do for him if he wasn’t willing to change—or even accept that the situation was a mess that would drive him mad if he kept it up much longer. Christian’s life would come to a crossroads time and again and he’d have to make a decision to keep pretending, or take the risk and be done with it.
It was up to Christian, though, not Mark.
In a moment of weakness, or maybe it was the softer/gentler version of Mark that did it, he gave Christian his phone number and told him if he really needed to talk to go ahead and call. No screwing around though. It would only make both of them miserable in the long run. Not to mention that Mark couldn’t get Zane out of his mind, no matter how futile it was clinging to hope. If he messed around with Christian…God, the guilt would be terrible. Well…after the pleasure, anyway. Still, not worth it .
By the time Mark sank into the deck chair he’d abandoned hours ago, he knew he wasn’t sticking around in Bora Bora. It was beautiful—he’d spent the money on a vacation package so excited to experience it—but he was still alone . When he made the plans, that was the selling point, but thinking he could come out here and renew himself was a new way to hide from life. So far, he was more conflicted than ever.
The trip was a way to avoid pain and he could only handle so much vacationing on his own. There was no one to laugh and flirt with and it was all sort of sad. Maybe if Zane could have stayed, Mark wouldn’t be feeling this way…
Mark usually spent his time off with his family in Bakersfield. One brother and his parents still lived there and he hadn’t wanted to face going home without Rafe along for the ride. He knew that his family didn’t give a damn about that and only wanted Mark around, but he hadn’t felt ready. God, his mom had even cried when he told her he was going to Bora Bora.
It was late in California, but Mark punched a number on speed dial and waited. Five rings in, Reid answered sounding out of breath.
“Hey, little brother! What’s going on?” More breathing.
“Did I interrupt you getting down?”
Reid snorted then murmured something in the background. “Nah. I’m online with Sean playing Call of Duty . Had to run for the phone.” There was more murmuring and what sounded like a bunch of empty beer bottles toppling over. Reid’s juicy expletive confirmed it. “Sean says hi,
If it hadn’t been so terrifying Mark would’ve laughed at the way his brothers gaped at him open-mouthed. His mom pursed her lips, then smiled and whispered that she knew. How? he’d thought. Mark wasn’t a show-and-tell type of guy and he was certain his stash of magazines was very well hidden, but she just knew, she said.
What?—like you know a good melon when you squeeze it?
His dad did a lot of throat clearing and hand wringing after the confession, but it was the way he stood and grabbed Mark in a hug so quick it was over almost before it began that calmed his son. He’d then pointed at Mark’s brothers and said, “You give him shit about this and I’ll bust your asses. He’s your brother and our son and that’s that .”
Sean and Reid did the yeah-sure-no-problem thing and sucker punched him as they left the room in a fog. In his family, if his brothers punched him, all was as well as it could be.
And they never did give him any shit about it. They all moved on pretty quickly after his revelation. Jobs. College. Relationships. For Mark “relationships” referred to a long string of untouchables—sort of like with Rafe, he realized grimly—that were too closeted, or too closed off, or too cruel, or too interested in their Karate instructor...
Mark was always the one on the chase; always the one with the hurt feelings and broken heart. At least he had support when he needed it and his parents were amazing. He had the ideal coming out story.
Christian had nothing like that and it showed.
There wasn’t much Mark could do for him if he wasn’t willing to change—or even accept that the situation was a mess that would drive him mad if he kept it up much longer. Christian’s life would come to a crossroads time and again and he’d have to make a decision to keep pretending, or take the risk and be done with it.
It was up to Christian, though, not Mark.
In a moment of weakness, or maybe it was the softer/gentler version of Mark that did it, he gave Christian his phone number and told him if he really needed to talk to go ahead and call. No screwing around though. It would only make both of them miserable in the long run. Not to mention that Mark couldn’t get Zane out of his mind, no matter how futile it was clinging to hope. If he messed around with Christian…God, the guilt would be terrible. Well…after the pleasure, anyway. Still, not worth it .
By the time Mark sank into the deck chair he’d abandoned hours ago, he knew he wasn’t sticking around in Bora Bora. It was beautiful—he’d spent the money on a vacation package so excited to experience it—but he was still alone . When he made the plans, that was the selling point, but thinking he could come out here and renew himself was a new way to hide from life. So far, he was more conflicted than ever.
The trip was a way to avoid pain and he could only handle so much vacationing on his own. There was no one to laugh and flirt with and it was all sort of sad. Maybe if Zane could have stayed, Mark wouldn’t be feeling this way…
Mark usually spent his time off with his family in Bakersfield. One brother and his parents still lived there and he hadn’t wanted to face going home without Rafe along for the ride. He knew that his family didn’t give a damn about that and only wanted Mark around, but he hadn’t felt ready. God, his mom had even cried when he told her he was going to Bora Bora.
It was late in California, but Mark punched a number on speed dial and waited. Five rings in, Reid answered sounding out of breath.
“Hey, little brother! What’s going on?” More breathing.
“Did I interrupt you getting down?”
Reid snorted then murmured something in the background. “Nah. I’m online with Sean playing Call of Duty . Had to run for the phone.” There was more murmuring and what sounded like a bunch of empty beer bottles toppling over. Reid’s juicy expletive confirmed it. “Sean says hi,
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