it?”
I had to sit down. “What happened?”
He threw the towel down the steps to the basement and combed his fingers through his hair. “What do you mean? We finished. Not a big deal, is it?”
“You’re going to hurt yourself, you keep smiling like that.”
“You should have seen your mother’s face.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Priceless.”
“No offense, Dad, but how did you do it? I mean, it took you a month to put up the shelf in the bathroom.”
He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “Truth? It was TJ.”
“TJ? My TJ?”
“Yep. He got his cousins from Jersey to help. They do a lot of construction around Cherry Hill. You shoulda seen them, Ash. Those guys just flew.”
“My TJ?”
“Yeah, maybe you should have been nicer to him. I’m telling you, Ash, he really came through for us. And he has a big night planned for you two tomorrow. Said he’d pick you up around six.”
“My TJ helped with this?”
“Couldn’t have done it without him. He left that card for you on the table. A real romantic, isn’t he?”
I ripped open the envelope. It was a mushy card, with a picture of two little kids holding hands on the front. Inside, TJ had drawn a heart with our initials in it: “TJB + AMH 4eva.”
I could feel the mad in me leaking out like water between my fingers. Damn.
Dad chuckled again. “I’m out of here, kiddo. Got a hot date with your mother.”
“Do I have to babysit the boys?”
“Nope, they’re staying at Linny’s again. You going out?”
“I’m going to sleep. I’m beat. This prom stuff is wiping me out.”
He winked. “We’ll try not to wake you when we get home. Gonna be a great night!”
“Ew, don’t say that. Parents should not have sex. You two are disgusting perverts.”
“Yeah, I know. Ain’t it great?”
83.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of perfume and the sound of a flock of crows. I rolled over. Perfume and crows, must be a nightmare.
Perfume. Crows. Ma was home.
A woman giggled. It sounded like a poodle with hiccups.
Ma was home and she had Aunt Linny with her.
Another laugh. This one sounded like a live chicken being shoved in a blender.
Aunt Joan.
And then a laugh that turned into a hacking cough.
Aunt Sharon.
I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. They were all here.
A herd of screaming buffalo pounded up the stairs and burst into my room. Billy jumped on my bed. “Wake up, wake up!”
Steven followed him. “Ma says you have to get dressed.”
Billy climbed on my rear and bounced. “Get up, big butt.”
“TJ’s called three times already,” Steven said. “You have to go out with him tonight.”
“Get up, big butt. The aunts brought—”
Steven covered Billy’s mouth with his hand. “There’s a surprise for you downstairs. You better hurry before Ma explodes.”
Downstairs, Aunt Linny giggled.
84.
My mother and her three sisters were waiting for me in the living room, like something out of a sick fairy tale. Ma was plopped in the middle of the couch with a box of chocolate doughnuts on her belly. Aunt Linny was on her left, and Aunt Sharon was on her right, closest to the door. Aunt Joan filled the recliner.
The four of them screamed when they saw me. Aunt Sharon jumped up and gave me a hug, rocking side to side. “We are so excited!” Rock, rock, rock. “This is gonna be great!” Rock, rock, rock.
Ma waved a doughnut at us. “Let her go, Shar. You’ll make her seasick.”
Aunt Sharon turned me loose, and I stumbled over a pile of dress shoes. That was weird. We never had dress shoes in the living room before. I blinked and looked around the room. The coffee table was hidden under a huge heap of dresses, and the entertainment center was covered by hanging garment bags.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“My baby is going to the prom,” Ma said.
She knew.
Aunt Linny pulled a hideous green dress off the table. “The prom,” she sighed. “Oh, Ashley . . .” She
I had to sit down. “What happened?”
He threw the towel down the steps to the basement and combed his fingers through his hair. “What do you mean? We finished. Not a big deal, is it?”
“You’re going to hurt yourself, you keep smiling like that.”
“You should have seen your mother’s face.” He shook his head and chuckled. “Priceless.”
“No offense, Dad, but how did you do it? I mean, it took you a month to put up the shelf in the bathroom.”
He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms. “Truth? It was TJ.”
“TJ? My TJ?”
“Yep. He got his cousins from Jersey to help. They do a lot of construction around Cherry Hill. You shoulda seen them, Ash. Those guys just flew.”
“My TJ?”
“Yeah, maybe you should have been nicer to him. I’m telling you, Ash, he really came through for us. And he has a big night planned for you two tomorrow. Said he’d pick you up around six.”
“My TJ helped with this?”
“Couldn’t have done it without him. He left that card for you on the table. A real romantic, isn’t he?”
I ripped open the envelope. It was a mushy card, with a picture of two little kids holding hands on the front. Inside, TJ had drawn a heart with our initials in it: “TJB + AMH 4eva.”
I could feel the mad in me leaking out like water between my fingers. Damn.
Dad chuckled again. “I’m out of here, kiddo. Got a hot date with your mother.”
“Do I have to babysit the boys?”
“Nope, they’re staying at Linny’s again. You going out?”
“I’m going to sleep. I’m beat. This prom stuff is wiping me out.”
He winked. “We’ll try not to wake you when we get home. Gonna be a great night!”
“Ew, don’t say that. Parents should not have sex. You two are disgusting perverts.”
“Yeah, I know. Ain’t it great?”
83.
The next morning, I woke up to the smell of perfume and the sound of a flock of crows. I rolled over. Perfume and crows, must be a nightmare.
Perfume. Crows. Ma was home.
A woman giggled. It sounded like a poodle with hiccups.
Ma was home and she had Aunt Linny with her.
Another laugh. This one sounded like a live chicken being shoved in a blender.
Aunt Joan.
And then a laugh that turned into a hacking cough.
Aunt Sharon.
I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head. They were all here.
A herd of screaming buffalo pounded up the stairs and burst into my room. Billy jumped on my bed. “Wake up, wake up!”
Steven followed him. “Ma says you have to get dressed.”
Billy climbed on my rear and bounced. “Get up, big butt.”
“TJ’s called three times already,” Steven said. “You have to go out with him tonight.”
“Get up, big butt. The aunts brought—”
Steven covered Billy’s mouth with his hand. “There’s a surprise for you downstairs. You better hurry before Ma explodes.”
Downstairs, Aunt Linny giggled.
84.
My mother and her three sisters were waiting for me in the living room, like something out of a sick fairy tale. Ma was plopped in the middle of the couch with a box of chocolate doughnuts on her belly. Aunt Linny was on her left, and Aunt Sharon was on her right, closest to the door. Aunt Joan filled the recliner.
The four of them screamed when they saw me. Aunt Sharon jumped up and gave me a hug, rocking side to side. “We are so excited!” Rock, rock, rock. “This is gonna be great!” Rock, rock, rock.
Ma waved a doughnut at us. “Let her go, Shar. You’ll make her seasick.”
Aunt Sharon turned me loose, and I stumbled over a pile of dress shoes. That was weird. We never had dress shoes in the living room before. I blinked and looked around the room. The coffee table was hidden under a huge heap of dresses, and the entertainment center was covered by hanging garment bags.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“My baby is going to the prom,” Ma said.
She knew.
Aunt Linny pulled a hideous green dress off the table. “The prom,” she sighed. “Oh, Ashley . . .” She
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