cop. I couldn’t save anyone. I wasn’t even particularly good at saving myself.
To heck with this .
Adjusting my backpack, I got ready to bolt when I spotted Gadget’s hat. Shoot . No time to run. I made the sign of the cross. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I needed all the help I could get. Gadget appeared and the drum line hit their finale. I grabbed his arm, pulled him into the doorway, and then jammed my weapon into his back.
“Oomph!” He jerked.
“Don’t move.” I took a deep breath. Everything would be fine if I just stayed calm.
“Take it easy, lady. Don’t do anything crazy.”
“ Me do something crazy? That’s rich. You’re the one who’s been stalking me.” I pushed my weapon even harder into his back. He grunted but held still.
“Stalking you? I’m not stalking you,” he scoffed.
“Really. Then explain why you passed through the hotel doors at least a dozen times today and never once asked about a room. I’d say that makes you a tad suspicious, wouldn’t you?”
He glanced at me over his shoulder, registering surprise. “Well, there goes my cover.” He cursed under his breath.
“Cover? Cover for what?”
Hesitating, he answered, “Hotel security. Undercover hotel security.”
“Does your job description include following employees after their shifts have ended?”
He grunted, shaking his head. “You give yourself too much credit, ma’am. My shift is over, and this is my stop.”
“Uh-huh.” I checked him out again. He seemed harmless enough, if a bit eccentric, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I jammed my weapon harder into his spine.
“Yo, watch it, lady. I’m not going to hurt you. Please put the gun down.”
Not about to put my ‘gun’ down, a hysterical giggle slipped out at the absurdity of my predicament. Stressful situations tended to do that to me. Like when I’d found out Bob had videotaped us having sex and then published the footage on an Internet pornography website, I’d laughed myself silly. People thought I was demented, especially my parents, and then I’d cried. He’d not only used me, he’d also cheated on me with at least six other women. Not about to lose it in front of the Inspector, another giggle slipped out.
“Please put the gun down,” he repeated. “It’s gonna go off.”
I barked out a laugh this time. Things could turn ugly real quick, yet all I could do was crack up. Time to call the funny farm, because my faculties had officially vacated my brain.
“Ma’am? You’re not going psycho on me, are you? Your hand’s shaking quite a bit.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’re completely safe even if this thing does go off. Trust me, it--”
Bzzzzzzz!
“Oh, my God,” I yelped.
“Jesus, what the hell is that?” He jerked forward and spun around to stare at my vibrating pocket.
“It’s not mine. Well, it is, but I didn’t buy it.” I pulled the flesh-colored rubber vibrator out of my pocket and fumbled with the monstrosity, trying to find the switch. “The Jackrabbit 2000 in the flesh... or peach-colored rubber, take your pick.” I thrust my hand in front of his face. “Help me turn this sucker off. There’s no button.”
“Holy Christ, I don’t know what to do.” He jumped back.
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” I mumbled, filling the gap between us. “You have to help me.” I shoved the vibrator into his hands.
“I don’t want it, and I sure as hell don’t need it.” He held it far away from him. “Damn thing doesn’t even look real.”
“Really. Too big? Too small? How does it compare to you?”
“What the hell kind of question is that?” He gaped at me, his golden brown eyes as big as pancakes.
Stupid project . “Never mind. Just help me turn it off. I can’t get on the subway like this.”
He cursed. “Fine.” Then he examined it closer and grinned like he’d just figured out the answer to the winning question on Millionaire, and he didn’t even have to phone a friend. Can you imagine that
To heck with this .
Adjusting my backpack, I got ready to bolt when I spotted Gadget’s hat. Shoot . No time to run. I made the sign of the cross. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I needed all the help I could get. Gadget appeared and the drum line hit their finale. I grabbed his arm, pulled him into the doorway, and then jammed my weapon into his back.
“Oomph!” He jerked.
“Don’t move.” I took a deep breath. Everything would be fine if I just stayed calm.
“Take it easy, lady. Don’t do anything crazy.”
“ Me do something crazy? That’s rich. You’re the one who’s been stalking me.” I pushed my weapon even harder into his back. He grunted but held still.
“Stalking you? I’m not stalking you,” he scoffed.
“Really. Then explain why you passed through the hotel doors at least a dozen times today and never once asked about a room. I’d say that makes you a tad suspicious, wouldn’t you?”
He glanced at me over his shoulder, registering surprise. “Well, there goes my cover.” He cursed under his breath.
“Cover? Cover for what?”
Hesitating, he answered, “Hotel security. Undercover hotel security.”
“Does your job description include following employees after their shifts have ended?”
He grunted, shaking his head. “You give yourself too much credit, ma’am. My shift is over, and this is my stop.”
“Uh-huh.” I checked him out again. He seemed harmless enough, if a bit eccentric, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I jammed my weapon harder into his spine.
“Yo, watch it, lady. I’m not going to hurt you. Please put the gun down.”
Not about to put my ‘gun’ down, a hysterical giggle slipped out at the absurdity of my predicament. Stressful situations tended to do that to me. Like when I’d found out Bob had videotaped us having sex and then published the footage on an Internet pornography website, I’d laughed myself silly. People thought I was demented, especially my parents, and then I’d cried. He’d not only used me, he’d also cheated on me with at least six other women. Not about to lose it in front of the Inspector, another giggle slipped out.
“Please put the gun down,” he repeated. “It’s gonna go off.”
I barked out a laugh this time. Things could turn ugly real quick, yet all I could do was crack up. Time to call the funny farm, because my faculties had officially vacated my brain.
“Ma’am? You’re not going psycho on me, are you? Your hand’s shaking quite a bit.”
“Oh, don’t worry. You’re completely safe even if this thing does go off. Trust me, it--”
Bzzzzzzz!
“Oh, my God,” I yelped.
“Jesus, what the hell is that?” He jerked forward and spun around to stare at my vibrating pocket.
“It’s not mine. Well, it is, but I didn’t buy it.” I pulled the flesh-colored rubber vibrator out of my pocket and fumbled with the monstrosity, trying to find the switch. “The Jackrabbit 2000 in the flesh... or peach-colored rubber, take your pick.” I thrust my hand in front of his face. “Help me turn this sucker off. There’s no button.”
“Holy Christ, I don’t know what to do.” He jumped back.
“Somehow that doesn’t surprise me,” I mumbled, filling the gap between us. “You have to help me.” I shoved the vibrator into his hands.
“I don’t want it, and I sure as hell don’t need it.” He held it far away from him. “Damn thing doesn’t even look real.”
“Really. Too big? Too small? How does it compare to you?”
“What the hell kind of question is that?” He gaped at me, his golden brown eyes as big as pancakes.
Stupid project . “Never mind. Just help me turn it off. I can’t get on the subway like this.”
He cursed. “Fine.” Then he examined it closer and grinned like he’d just figured out the answer to the winning question on Millionaire, and he didn’t even have to phone a friend. Can you imagine that
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