happy to be Rachel’s friend, pleased that I could follow in Quinn’s popular footsteps, maybe even besting him slightly. After all, Arthur Jacobs had only one granddaughter, and she was my age, my friend. Not Quinn’s. Even my dad had been pleased by that.
Now it all seemed tired and childish and not worth it.
I might have wondered when that had all changed, except I knew. To an exact date.
I’d spent years doing anything and everything that I thought might make my dad proud, including acting like a complete tool on various occasions, because, hey, that’s what he would have done, right? In doing so, I’d paid little or no attention to the one person who loved me for who I was. If anything, I’d tried to keep distance between me and my mom, knowing my dad saw us as two of a kind.
It wasn’t until after she was gone that it finally clicked. I’d been worrying about failing the wrong person. Nothing I did would ever be good enough for my dad, and by relentlessly seeking his approval, I’d lost my mom’s.
Rachel followed me across the cafeteria. I could hear her heels clicking loudly a step or two behind me. People turned to see her coming, watching either with awe or great wariness as she approached.
Ignoring her and the inevitable storm to come, I set my tray down and dropped into an available chair, nodding at the guys.
“What do you mean she said no?” Rachel hissed in my ear. Instead of sitting down, she remained standing, sending out the message, consciously or not, that she was above us.
“Who said no to what?” Matty asked, his mouth full of food.
“Shut up and eat your pudding, Matty,” Rachel snapped, reaching down to shove his overloaded tray closer to him, her gold bracelets clanging against the hard tabletop.
“Coach told me I need to bulk up,” he mumbled, his face flushing.
“It does occasionally happen,” I said to Rachel. “Girls say no.” And it did, but not usually to me.
Ariane’s face, pale and accusing, flashed in my mind.
Rachel huffed impatiently. “I knew I should have sent Jonas.”
“You can’t now,” I pointed out, pleased that part of my plan had worked out, at least. “She’ll be too suspicious.”
Rachel abandoned any pretense of casual friendliness, or friendliness at all. “What? So now you’re on her side?” she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.
I was, actually. I liked Ariane, what little I knew of her. Maybe even more now because she hadn’t fallen all over herself to get back at Rachel, though she clearly wanted to. I shrugged. “My point is, you’re not going to get what you want from her.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“It means she’s not stupid. I think she’s already accepted that you’re out to get her, and she’ll take whatever you’re going to dish out.” I had to admire that kind of resilience and determination. I might do better with my dad if I had half of that.
Rachel, however, looked offended. It was the fear she thrived on, and Ariane had taken that away from her. My admiration of Ariane—strange quiet thing that she was—edged upward another notch.
Rachel straightened up, her mouth thinning into a tight line. “We’ll see.” She spun away from me in a whirl of red fabric and expensive perfume.
“Rachel. What are you doing?” I called after her, alarmed.
But she ignored me, making a beeline for the doors to the hall.
Shit. In trying to warn her off, I’d only pointed her straight to Ariane at full speed.
“Rachel better hurry before they finish with the cameras,” Matty muttered.
“What are you talking about?”
Matty tipped his head toward the far wall, and I saw a guy in a black jumpsuit with a bright red GTX logo on a ladder, messing with some cables. “Didn’t you hear the announcement this morning?” he asked, loading up his fork again.
I vaguely remembered hearing the loudspeaker going off when I was in the hall, tracking down Ariane.
“GTX donated a new
Now it all seemed tired and childish and not worth it.
I might have wondered when that had all changed, except I knew. To an exact date.
I’d spent years doing anything and everything that I thought might make my dad proud, including acting like a complete tool on various occasions, because, hey, that’s what he would have done, right? In doing so, I’d paid little or no attention to the one person who loved me for who I was. If anything, I’d tried to keep distance between me and my mom, knowing my dad saw us as two of a kind.
It wasn’t until after she was gone that it finally clicked. I’d been worrying about failing the wrong person. Nothing I did would ever be good enough for my dad, and by relentlessly seeking his approval, I’d lost my mom’s.
Rachel followed me across the cafeteria. I could hear her heels clicking loudly a step or two behind me. People turned to see her coming, watching either with awe or great wariness as she approached.
Ignoring her and the inevitable storm to come, I set my tray down and dropped into an available chair, nodding at the guys.
“What do you mean she said no?” Rachel hissed in my ear. Instead of sitting down, she remained standing, sending out the message, consciously or not, that she was above us.
“Who said no to what?” Matty asked, his mouth full of food.
“Shut up and eat your pudding, Matty,” Rachel snapped, reaching down to shove his overloaded tray closer to him, her gold bracelets clanging against the hard tabletop.
“Coach told me I need to bulk up,” he mumbled, his face flushing.
“It does occasionally happen,” I said to Rachel. “Girls say no.” And it did, but not usually to me.
Ariane’s face, pale and accusing, flashed in my mind.
Rachel huffed impatiently. “I knew I should have sent Jonas.”
“You can’t now,” I pointed out, pleased that part of my plan had worked out, at least. “She’ll be too suspicious.”
Rachel abandoned any pretense of casual friendliness, or friendliness at all. “What? So now you’re on her side?” she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.
I was, actually. I liked Ariane, what little I knew of her. Maybe even more now because she hadn’t fallen all over herself to get back at Rachel, though she clearly wanted to. I shrugged. “My point is, you’re not going to get what you want from her.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” she asked.
“It means she’s not stupid. I think she’s already accepted that you’re out to get her, and she’ll take whatever you’re going to dish out.” I had to admire that kind of resilience and determination. I might do better with my dad if I had half of that.
Rachel, however, looked offended. It was the fear she thrived on, and Ariane had taken that away from her. My admiration of Ariane—strange quiet thing that she was—edged upward another notch.
Rachel straightened up, her mouth thinning into a tight line. “We’ll see.” She spun away from me in a whirl of red fabric and expensive perfume.
“Rachel. What are you doing?” I called after her, alarmed.
But she ignored me, making a beeline for the doors to the hall.
Shit. In trying to warn her off, I’d only pointed her straight to Ariane at full speed.
“Rachel better hurry before they finish with the cameras,” Matty muttered.
“What are you talking about?”
Matty tipped his head toward the far wall, and I saw a guy in a black jumpsuit with a bright red GTX logo on a ladder, messing with some cables. “Didn’t you hear the announcement this morning?” he asked, loading up his fork again.
I vaguely remembered hearing the loudspeaker going off when I was in the hall, tracking down Ariane.
“GTX donated a new
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