Priestley Plays Four by J. B. Priestley Page B

Now, Skipper, you go with Sam and get me disenchanted – you know what we decided about the company – so if you have to then offer both of them a seat on the board.
    CAPT. P.: Can do, old boy. But in the meantime, we can’t have you staying here, dictating letters. You’re supposed to have been knocked off by Sam. You’ll have to hide in the wood until you’re disenchanted.
    DIMMOCK: All right. But hurry up with it.
(As SAM and CAPT.P., carrying the sword between them, begin to go R..)
Where was I, Peggy?
    PEGGY:
(Reading.) Dear Fred – I’m writing this from a place called peradore, where I ran into a little trouble –
that’s all
    DIMMOCK:
(Dictating.) But with a bit of luck everything now might work out for the best. I’m discussing a merger here with a very smart concern – Marlagram and Malgrim – enchanters –
    PEGGY: I don’t think Mr Paly will believe in enchanters.
    DIMMOCK: He mightn’t now – but he will next time I talk to him. Where was I? Oh- yes – enchanters.
One or both of ’em might want to come on to the board, which means, first as we’ve often agreed, dropping Wallaby, but also Tooks. When I explain the set-up I have in mind, Fred, you will agree that Tooks would never fit it in – too narrow-minded and has not got the enterprise. We might try one of the enchanters looking after finance and the firm’s taxation problems
.
    Light and voice begin to fade together at beginning of this last speech, and scene has faded out by the time speech ends
.
SCENE SEVEN
    Enchanters’ Dining-room. MARLAGRAM enters, sits down at table
.
    MARLAGRAM:
(As if addressing invisible waiter.)
Bowl of porridge.
    It appears magically on the table, and at once he begins eating it. After a moment MALGRIM enters and sits opposite
.
    Have a bowl o’ porridge, like me.
    MALGRIM: Great Beelzebub – no! I don’t have to eat slops yet.
(Sharply addressing invisible waiter.)
Duck and green peas. Flagon of Bordeaux.
(Nothing happens. MARLAGRAM watches with a malicious grin.)
Didn’t you hear me?
Duck and green peas. Flagon of Bordeaux…
    MARLAGRAM:
(When it is obvious the magic isn’t on.)
He-he-he-he!
(Addressing invisible waiter.)
Bowl of porridge.
    A bowl of porridge appears in front of MALGRIM. He is furious
.
    MALGRIM:
(Jumping up, angrily.)
This is absolutely intolerable, Uncle. We agreed from the first that no matter what magical moves and countermoves we might have to make against each other, neither of us would interfere with the domestic arrangements. And now look what you’ve done!
    MARLAGRAM: Who started breaking arrangements, lad? You did. As soon as that young man Sam challenged the dragon, you should have changed the dragon back into what’s-his-name. Then there’d be no dragon and Sam could have claimed his Princess.
    MALGRIM:
(Sitting again.)
Why should you care? She’s given you the Merlin brooch.
    MARLAGRAM: Not she! You ought to know what women are, even young ones. I don’t get that brooch till the King’s given his consent to her marrying Sam.
    MALGRIM: O-ho! No brooch yet – eh?
    MARLAGRAM: He-he! No lunch yet neither.
    MALGRIM: Pooh – I’m not hungry –
    MARLAGRAM: And another thing, lad. Where’s that girl Ninette gone to – eh! He-he-he! Well, you know that flock of geese just below the Castle? He-he-he! Now she’s one of them –
    MALGRIM:
(Jumping up, angrily, ready to go.)
Why – you unscrupulous old –
    MARLAGRAM:
(Cutting in.)
Sit down, boy, there’s over two hundred geese there – you’d be all day on it. I’ll turn her back as soon as we’ve finished our business. Plenty of business too. Sam and that Captain Plunket are on their way here.
    MALGRIM: How do you know?
    MARLAGRAM: I’m an enchanter, aren’t I lad? And a better one than you – an’ of course if you have an enchanter son or nephew, you’ll be better than him. Remember, ours is a profession of wise men. So we have regress instead of progress. That means that as we grow old we’re always the