Pride Over Pity by Kailyn Lowry, Adrienne Wenner Page A

too intensely eager to push me towards girls. There is no denying my attraction to certain women, but in my mind there was no need for the discussion because experimentation is as far as I ever wanted to go. I honestly believe that nobody is completely straight and attraction to the same sex is natural, but Aria’s insistence that I should only be with girls was not true to who I am. I felt like she kept telling me what I wanted, but really it was just what she wanted. I didn’t want to be with Aria or any girl for that matter. I should have been clearer with her, but I lightly passed the discussion off with a mere shrug and a “maybe” to being open to dating women.
    Instead of allowing me to make my own choices, Aria told Javi that I was gay and I would eventually leave him for a woman. Javi believed she was telling the truth because Aria was my best friend. Why would she lie? He left me without even hearing me out and went to stay with some friends at Bloomsburg University, two hours away. I panicked beyond belief and went after him. As I drove, my mind raced through several horrible scenarios. I was terrified that I was about to lose the best thing that had ever happened to me. What if right now his friends were convincing him to end it with me? I could almost hear the lesbian jokes being thrown around at my expense. I didn’t need to be pigeonholed by anyone. My sexuality wasn’t a joke or anyone’s business.
    I was hoping to have a calm discussion with Javi to explain that Aria had skewed our conversation to sound like I was interested in dating women, but I never got the chance. As soon as I arrived on campus, I was confronted by ten sorority girls, accompanied a guy who grabbed me and prevented me from seeing Javi. He repeatedly said how awful I was and the girls pushed me around. Luckily, I had two friends with me who shoved the guy off and tried to resolve the situation. But the incident continued to escalate. It was easily the worst night of my life. I went home to cry myself to sleep, wishing the mess would disappear and still hearing their screams of Fuck Isaac ringing in my ears.
    Although—many, many months down the road—Aria did explain to Javi that she had misrepresented the details of our conversation in that moment he didn’t want to hear it. I was terrified he was finished with me for good. I felt like my world had been torn to shreds, leaving me alone and vulnerable. Aria was no longer my friend. Javi probably never wanted to see me again. What was I going to do now?
    I waited. I hoped. As I slummed in misery, I heard Aria had sold the story she told Javi to the media. I don’t know if she really did, but the tabloids had a field day. I knew the rumors would stay rumors as long as I didn’t speak up, so I let the headlines slide by without comment. In no shape or form was I ashamed of my actions or who I was, but declaring myself a certain sexuality was a label that I refused to be burdened with. I wasn’t going to allow the media to use me as a poster child for closeted gays. It wouldn’t be fair to those who truly had such difficulty expressing who they are. Now that is a difficult journey.
    Fundamentally, I knew there was one definite in my life—Javi. Thankfully, the love Javi and I possess proved to be stronger than the drama the rumors and lies had brought into our lives. Javi eventually cooled down and we were able to find a way around the anger and hurt.
    The major cliché of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger applies heavily in our case. Interrogating myself under a bright light for days crystallized one fact for me: I wanted to marry Javi. Deep down I had known it all along. I didn’t want to waste any more time holding back from what I truly wanted. Javi was opposed to waiting any longer, too. He would be entering the Air Force soon. We didn’t want to part without calling each other husband and wife, so we decided to marry in Vegas.
    We went all the way south, with the