try to get more.”
Those annoying tears started again. “E, you can’t say that to me. I’m the definition of fucked up. Do you think you deserve more?”
“Hell, I don’t deserve you.” He shrugged his shoulder and softly kissed the tip of my nose. “Maybe, we’re just meant to be fucked up together.” His eyes pleaded with me to stay. I wanted to promise him I would never leave, but I knew that was a promise I could never keep.
I twisted the fabric from my shirt over and over in my fingers. “The first four weeks after the wreck they kept me in a coma-like state. The first word I said as I was waking up was ‘Ethan.’ I couldn’t remember anything except your name and face.”
He tilted his head to the side and gave me his heart-stopping pout. “Privy, you’re killing me. If I’d have only known I would’ve been there.” He reclutched my hands to still them from shaking. “I woke up every morning saying your name too. All I did was think of you.”
“Even when you were screwing those girls.” I finally said it. The words I’d been too afraid to think were now out in the open.
“Privy, it’s not what you think. I never touched a girl or even gave one a second thought from the time you walked out that door until Sarah met me that night. It hurt so damn bad to think you were with someone else. That another man got to see you like I’d been so blessed to see you. It hurt. I was trying to numb the pain. But in case you were wondering, yes, I closed my eyes and wished like hell it was you. I even called them Dylan a few times.” He rubbed his hands down his face.
“That is fucked up.” I laughed softly. Ethan looked back at me and smiled. “I need some fun.” I rolled my eyes. “I need a lot of fun.”
“My Privy needs to have some fun,” he teased. His body visibly relaxed as the tension left it. “I know my favorite way to have a good time,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.
I pushed him back and burst out laughing at his cute little facial gestures. “You have to kiss me first, and someone doesn’t want to kiss me.”
He moved back until his nose tapped against the side of my cheek. “Oh, I want to kiss you . . . everywhere. But I need to know you won’t leave me later.”
Ethan
Taking Dylan back to her apartment was not what I’d planned for the night, but she was right; it was for the best. How could I ask her to sleep with me when I couldn’t even tell her the truth? Of all the damn memories for her to have; she had to go and remember me holding her after the attack. I never meant to lie to her again. I panicked. How could I explain that one memory without telling her the very secret that had already taken her from me once before?
“Have you ever been to a flea market?” she asked, interrupting my depressing train of thought.
“A what? They have a market for fleas?” I laid my head on the top of hers. “Does my sweet Privy want some fleas?”
One trait I inherited from dad was to laugh when life got sticky. How much stickier could it get then having my heart sitting beside me and knowing she could walk away any moment? So I laughed and I laughed until she burst out in laughter with me. We both laughed until our stomachs hurt and all the tension from the day vaporized. It felt incredible to see that sweet, amazing smile on Dylan’s face after the night we had.
“Did I ever tell you about the summer I spent at my granny Beth’s?” she asked after her laughter suppressed to a small chuckle.
“Yeah, babe, you did. Did she have fleas?”
She slapped me pretty hard across the chest. “No,” she said and laid her head back on my shoulder. “There is so much I hope to never remember, but I wish I could remember the moments we shared like this.”
“Me too, babe, me too.”
“Now, back to the flea markets.” She bounced her head up and smiled. “Granny and I went every weekend to
Those annoying tears started again. “E, you can’t say that to me. I’m the definition of fucked up. Do you think you deserve more?”
“Hell, I don’t deserve you.” He shrugged his shoulder and softly kissed the tip of my nose. “Maybe, we’re just meant to be fucked up together.” His eyes pleaded with me to stay. I wanted to promise him I would never leave, but I knew that was a promise I could never keep.
I twisted the fabric from my shirt over and over in my fingers. “The first four weeks after the wreck they kept me in a coma-like state. The first word I said as I was waking up was ‘Ethan.’ I couldn’t remember anything except your name and face.”
He tilted his head to the side and gave me his heart-stopping pout. “Privy, you’re killing me. If I’d have only known I would’ve been there.” He reclutched my hands to still them from shaking. “I woke up every morning saying your name too. All I did was think of you.”
“Even when you were screwing those girls.” I finally said it. The words I’d been too afraid to think were now out in the open.
“Privy, it’s not what you think. I never touched a girl or even gave one a second thought from the time you walked out that door until Sarah met me that night. It hurt so damn bad to think you were with someone else. That another man got to see you like I’d been so blessed to see you. It hurt. I was trying to numb the pain. But in case you were wondering, yes, I closed my eyes and wished like hell it was you. I even called them Dylan a few times.” He rubbed his hands down his face.
“That is fucked up.” I laughed softly. Ethan looked back at me and smiled. “I need some fun.” I rolled my eyes. “I need a lot of fun.”
“My Privy needs to have some fun,” he teased. His body visibly relaxed as the tension left it. “I know my favorite way to have a good time,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows.
I pushed him back and burst out laughing at his cute little facial gestures. “You have to kiss me first, and someone doesn’t want to kiss me.”
He moved back until his nose tapped against the side of my cheek. “Oh, I want to kiss you . . . everywhere. But I need to know you won’t leave me later.”
Ethan
Taking Dylan back to her apartment was not what I’d planned for the night, but she was right; it was for the best. How could I ask her to sleep with me when I couldn’t even tell her the truth? Of all the damn memories for her to have; she had to go and remember me holding her after the attack. I never meant to lie to her again. I panicked. How could I explain that one memory without telling her the very secret that had already taken her from me once before?
“Have you ever been to a flea market?” she asked, interrupting my depressing train of thought.
“A what? They have a market for fleas?” I laid my head on the top of hers. “Does my sweet Privy want some fleas?”
One trait I inherited from dad was to laugh when life got sticky. How much stickier could it get then having my heart sitting beside me and knowing she could walk away any moment? So I laughed and I laughed until she burst out in laughter with me. We both laughed until our stomachs hurt and all the tension from the day vaporized. It felt incredible to see that sweet, amazing smile on Dylan’s face after the night we had.
“Did I ever tell you about the summer I spent at my granny Beth’s?” she asked after her laughter suppressed to a small chuckle.
“Yeah, babe, you did. Did she have fleas?”
She slapped me pretty hard across the chest. “No,” she said and laid her head back on my shoulder. “There is so much I hope to never remember, but I wish I could remember the moments we shared like this.”
“Me too, babe, me too.”
“Now, back to the flea markets.” She bounced her head up and smiled. “Granny and I went every weekend to
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