Prescription for Chaos by Christopher Anvil

"if anyone takes a reasonable dosage, he'll be all right. Good enough. Now, can we market this in time?"
    Together, they went over the details. Then they went down to Banner's office.
    Before the day was out, Banner Drugs was hard at work on the new process. But, as Banner pointed out, their problems were not solved.
    "Even if we get this distributed without any trouble, Mort, there's still Schmidt's improved ragweed. If that pollen is blowing around, how do we stop it?"
    "Possibly, it was developed indoors, in a greenhouse," said Hommel grimly. "At any rate, there isn't much of anything I wouldn't be prepared to try to stop it."
    "Luckily," said Banner, "we are now well enough known to get our suggestions listened to. Maybe we can get this genie back in the bottle. Get Schmidt on the phone—if you can get him on the phone—and have him come down here. If he drives at night, he may be able to make it without getting glued fast in friendship along the way."
    Late the following afternoon, Banner and Hommel met with a tough-looking individual who arrived wearing his hat like a uniform cap, a suave personage who smiled easily and radiated power, and a bulky glum-looking man with a Russian name. There were also three technicians and a quantity of electronic equipment.
    As Banner explained courteously to Schmidt. "This is in your honor, Dr. Schmidt. These people are here to learn about your . . . ah . . . epochal discovery. This is General Harmer, Mr. Hall, and Ambassador Kurenko. Your description of your discovery will be simultaneously broadcast and recorded as you give it. Thanks to your reputation, there, of course, is no doubt as to the reality of your achievement. Nevertheless, there are experts of various nationalities listening in, and they may want to ask some questions, which they can do over this hookup. Your words will be translated, incidentally, as you speak them"
    Schmidt looked impressed. "May I ask, Mr. Banner, what is the advantage of having a military man here?"
    "General Harmer is the President's personal representative. The President couldn't come himself."
    "Ah—" said Schmidt. "I see. Excuse me. Well, gentlemen—Shall I begin?"
    Banner glanced at the technicians, who nodded.
    "Start whenever you want," said Banner, "and just tell us in whatever way you want."
    "Well, then—I will begin with method . Knowing time was short, I decided upon a brute-force approach. Not so crude, perhaps, as adopted by the well-known innovator, Edison, but using the same general principle, developed more scientifically. I decided to try every conceivable method and combination of methods , possible in the space and time, and with the equipment available, sacrificing precise determination of the interrelations of the causative factors involved, in favor of—results."
    Schmidt then proceeded to describe, in short clear language, a set of procedures designed to produce the maximum possible genetic variation in the shortest possible time. At the end, he concluded, "With such methods, success or failure depends on chance and the unknown. Our tools are still too crude, and our knowledge too imprecise to enable us to proceed on a basis of exact knowledge. However, the method that worked for Edison has also worked in this instance, as I shall demonstrate. We now have, gentlemen, a variant of the common ragweed that no drug on earth can resist. For the record, I here produce a sample of biologically-inactivated pollen." He removed a small, thick glass tube, about the size of a two-inch cut off a lead pencil. "Is anyone here subject to hay fever?"
    Banner, Hall, Harmer, Kurenko, and the three technicians all shook their heads. Hommel reached into his side pocket, said, "I am," and shook three small old-style pills of Nullergin-200 into his hand. As Schmidt nodded, and began to pull the stopper out of the vial, Hommel, who know Schmidt as a demon experimenter, at once took the pills. A warm feeling of friendship spread through