his present predicament
unfortunately remained unaltered; but it was some
consolation to know that his first wild surmise was wrong
and that Teal hadn’t been led there in some fan tastic
way on a definite search for him. It made the odds look
rather more encouraging.
“Madam,” he said
helpfully, “I should think you might do
rather well for a while by inviting the public to drop in
and charging them sixpence admission. X marks the spot where
the body was found, and they can see the original pool
of blood on the mat. With Inspector Teal’s bowler hat on the mantelpiece in a
glass case and a plaster cast of his tummy in the hall——”
Mr Teal thrust himself
sizzlingly forward. He signed to his plain-clothes
sergeant.
“Take her outside and
get her statement,” he gritted.
Then he turned back to the
Saint. His eyelids drooped as he fought frantically to maintain some vestige of
the pose of somnolent boredom which had been his lifelong
defence against all calamities.
“And while that’s being done, I’d like to
hear what you’ve got to say.”
“Say?” repeated
the Saint vaguely. He searched for his lighter. “Why,
Claud, I can only say that it all looks most mysterious.
But I’m sure it ‘ll all turn out all right. With that brilliant detective
genius of yours—— ”
“Never mind
that,” Teal said pungently. “I want to hear
what you’ve got to say for yourself. I came here and found
you standing over the body.”
The Saint shrugged.
“Exactly,” he
said.
“What do you
mean—‘exactly’ ?”
Mr Teal’s voice was not
quite so monotonous as he wanted it to be. It tended to slide off its note into
a kind of squawk. But that was something that the Saint’s
ineffa ble sangfroid always did to him. It was something that
always brought Mr Teal to the verge of an apoplectic seizure.
“What do you
mean?” he squawked.
“My dear ass,”
said the Saint patiently, in the manner of
one who explains a simple point to a small and dull- witted
child, “you said it yourself. You came in and found me standing over the
body. You know perfectly well that when I murder people you never come in
and find me stand ing over the body. Now, do
you ?”
Mr Teal’s eyes boggled in
spite of the effort he made to control them. The hot
porridge came back into his larynx.
“Are you trying to
tell me you’re in the clear because I came in and found you bending over the
body ?” he yawped. “Well, this is
once when you’re wrong! Perhaps I haven’t done it before. But I’ve done it now. I’ve got you, Saint.” The
superb, delirious conviction grew upon him. “This is the one time you’ve made a mistake, and I’ve got
you.” Chief Inspector Teal drew himself up in the full pride of his magnificent climactic moment. “Simon
Templar, I shall take you into
custody on a charge of—— ”
“Wait a minute,”
said the Saint quietly.
The porridge bubbled
underneath Teal’s collar stud.
“What for?” he
exploded.
“Because,” said
the Saint kindly, “in spite of all the rude ideas
you’ve got about me, Claud, I like you. And it hurts me
to see you going off like a damp squib. Didn’t you hear the landlady say that she found the body about half an hour ago?”
“Well?”
“Well, I should think
we could safely give her the full half-hour—she could
hardly have got to a telephone and got you here with
all your stooges in much less than that. And
we’ve been talking for some minutes already. And if I
murdered this body, you must give me a few minutes to spare at the other end.
Let’s be very conservative and say that I could have
murdered him forty minutes ago.” Simon consulted
his watch. “Well, it’s now exactly a quarter to three.”
“Are you starting to
give me another of your alibis?”
“I am,” said the
Saint. “Because at twelve minutes past one
I left the Golden Fleece in Anford, which is ninety- five
miles from here. Quite a number of the natives and
unfortunately remained unaltered; but it was some
consolation to know that his first wild surmise was wrong
and that Teal hadn’t been led there in some fan tastic
way on a definite search for him. It made the odds look
rather more encouraging.
“Madam,” he said
helpfully, “I should think you might do
rather well for a while by inviting the public to drop in
and charging them sixpence admission. X marks the spot where
the body was found, and they can see the original pool
of blood on the mat. With Inspector Teal’s bowler hat on the mantelpiece in a
glass case and a plaster cast of his tummy in the hall——”
Mr Teal thrust himself
sizzlingly forward. He signed to his plain-clothes
sergeant.
“Take her outside and
get her statement,” he gritted.
Then he turned back to the
Saint. His eyelids drooped as he fought frantically to maintain some vestige of
the pose of somnolent boredom which had been his lifelong
defence against all calamities.
“And while that’s being done, I’d like to
hear what you’ve got to say.”
“Say?” repeated
the Saint vaguely. He searched for his lighter. “Why,
Claud, I can only say that it all looks most mysterious.
But I’m sure it ‘ll all turn out all right. With that brilliant detective
genius of yours—— ”
“Never mind
that,” Teal said pungently. “I want to hear
what you’ve got to say for yourself. I came here and found
you standing over the body.”
The Saint shrugged.
“Exactly,” he
said.
“What do you
mean—‘exactly’ ?”
Mr Teal’s voice was not
quite so monotonous as he wanted it to be. It tended to slide off its note into
a kind of squawk. But that was something that the Saint’s
ineffa ble sangfroid always did to him. It was something that
always brought Mr Teal to the verge of an apoplectic seizure.
“What do you
mean?” he squawked.
“My dear ass,”
said the Saint patiently, in the manner of
one who explains a simple point to a small and dull- witted
child, “you said it yourself. You came in and found me standing over the
body. You know perfectly well that when I murder people you never come in
and find me stand ing over the body. Now, do
you ?”
Mr Teal’s eyes boggled in
spite of the effort he made to control them. The hot
porridge came back into his larynx.
“Are you trying to
tell me you’re in the clear because I came in and found you bending over the
body ?” he yawped. “Well, this is
once when you’re wrong! Perhaps I haven’t done it before. But I’ve done it now. I’ve got you, Saint.” The
superb, delirious conviction grew upon him. “This is the one time you’ve made a mistake, and I’ve got
you.” Chief Inspector Teal drew himself up in the full pride of his magnificent climactic moment. “Simon
Templar, I shall take you into
custody on a charge of—— ”
“Wait a minute,”
said the Saint quietly.
The porridge bubbled
underneath Teal’s collar stud.
“What for?” he
exploded.
“Because,” said
the Saint kindly, “in spite of all the rude ideas
you’ve got about me, Claud, I like you. And it hurts me
to see you going off like a damp squib. Didn’t you hear the landlady say that she found the body about half an hour ago?”
“Well?”
“Well, I should think
we could safely give her the full half-hour—she could
hardly have got to a telephone and got you here with
all your stooges in much less than that. And
we’ve been talking for some minutes already. And if I
murdered this body, you must give me a few minutes to spare at the other end.
Let’s be very conservative and say that I could have
murdered him forty minutes ago.” Simon consulted
his watch. “Well, it’s now exactly a quarter to three.”
“Are you starting to
give me another of your alibis?”
“I am,” said the
Saint. “Because at twelve minutes past one
I left the Golden Fleece in Anford, which is ninety- five
miles from here. Quite a number of the natives and
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