pediatrician,” Chuck muttered.
“ Yep, and that’s going to come in very handy.” Joel pulled his hospital ID badge from his sun visor and clipped it to his shirt. “My all-access pass. Chest pain will get you fast-tracked. You shouldn’t have to wait to get in.” Just as Joel predicted, Chuck was taken back for an exam not long after they arrived.
Too nervous to sit, Bobbi leaned against the wall in a corner of the waiting room, watching Joel talk to nurses and anybody else in scrubs who happened to walk through the ER. When he joined her at last, she asked, “Is it a heart attack?”
“ I don’t think so, but we need to be sure.”
“ I trust you. I can relax if you say it’s not a heart attack.” She eased into the nearest seat. “Thank God, we got a break on something.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, then Joel spoke. “This thing with Shannon will work out like everything else we’ve been through, Mom. Hang on to that faith.”
“ Faith? I’m not sure I have any left.”
“ You do. It’s just a little overwhelmed right now.”
“ A little?”
“ Figure of speech,” Joel said with a wink. “I’m going to go check on Dad. They should know something by now.” He squeezed her hand and walked down the hallway with long, confident strides. Definitely his father’s son.
His father. God, he has to be okay. She leaned her head back against the wall, and a tear made its way from the corner of her eye. I’m begging, Lord. Another tear squeezed out, then another, then the floodgates opened. Alone in the waiting room with no one to be strong for, Bobbi let herself cry. For the injustice, for the uncertainty, for the disappointment of each passing hour with no word from Shannon, for the emotional exhaustion, and for the intensity of regret and failure.
* * *
Chuck sat on the exam table, fumbling to button his shirt. Muscle spasms. He knew it wasn’t anything serious, and now he felt like an idiot. He’d terrified Bobbi and wasted time everybody should have been using to find Shannon.
He hoped it was the cardiologist pulling the curtain back, but it was Joel. “What’s going on?”
“ I’m waiting for them to let me go home.”
“ No heart attack?”
“ No. I tried to tell you. But I get to do a stress test Tuesday, and they gave me a couple of prescriptions.”
“ Blood pressure?”
“ A little high, but not bad.”
“ So it’s stress.”
“ Most likely.” Chuck sighed deeply. “I feel like a complete failure, on so many levels.”
“ Dad—”
“ Last night, Shannon said I brought a curse on us. That’s why Brad’s dead, why you guys can’t have children.”
“ You don’t believe her, do you?”
“ She makes a good case.”
“ This is not your fault. None of it.”
“ It’s my fault Shannon left.”
“ No, it’s Shannon’s fault. She’s selfish and immature, and I’d like to give her a good spanking.”
“ Now that sounds like a dad.”
“ Yeah, I’ve been practicing.”
Chuck stood and slowly pushed his shirttails into his jeans. “But what if it is because of me that you and Abby . . .”
Joel held up his hand. “First of all, I don’t think God operates that way. Second, God knows what He’s doing. He has to be in control of all this or else He’s not God.”
“ Yeah but . . .”
“ No buts,” Joel said. “Abby and I have both seen doctors. There is no earthly reason why we haven’t had kids yet.” Then he smiled. “No earthly reason.” He pulled up a chair and sat down. “It used to give us fits. We worried and grieved over it, but then I started studying. There are plenty of children in the Bible born to parents who longed for a child and were unable to have any. Men like Samuel, and John the Baptist.” Joel smiled again. “Every one of those children who were so desperately longed for grew up to do great things. Every one of them was specially used by God. He’s going to do something great with our
“ Yep, and that’s going to come in very handy.” Joel pulled his hospital ID badge from his sun visor and clipped it to his shirt. “My all-access pass. Chest pain will get you fast-tracked. You shouldn’t have to wait to get in.” Just as Joel predicted, Chuck was taken back for an exam not long after they arrived.
Too nervous to sit, Bobbi leaned against the wall in a corner of the waiting room, watching Joel talk to nurses and anybody else in scrubs who happened to walk through the ER. When he joined her at last, she asked, “Is it a heart attack?”
“ I don’t think so, but we need to be sure.”
“ I trust you. I can relax if you say it’s not a heart attack.” She eased into the nearest seat. “Thank God, we got a break on something.”
They sat in silence for several minutes, then Joel spoke. “This thing with Shannon will work out like everything else we’ve been through, Mom. Hang on to that faith.”
“ Faith? I’m not sure I have any left.”
“ You do. It’s just a little overwhelmed right now.”
“ A little?”
“ Figure of speech,” Joel said with a wink. “I’m going to go check on Dad. They should know something by now.” He squeezed her hand and walked down the hallway with long, confident strides. Definitely his father’s son.
His father. God, he has to be okay. She leaned her head back against the wall, and a tear made its way from the corner of her eye. I’m begging, Lord. Another tear squeezed out, then another, then the floodgates opened. Alone in the waiting room with no one to be strong for, Bobbi let herself cry. For the injustice, for the uncertainty, for the disappointment of each passing hour with no word from Shannon, for the emotional exhaustion, and for the intensity of regret and failure.
* * *
Chuck sat on the exam table, fumbling to button his shirt. Muscle spasms. He knew it wasn’t anything serious, and now he felt like an idiot. He’d terrified Bobbi and wasted time everybody should have been using to find Shannon.
He hoped it was the cardiologist pulling the curtain back, but it was Joel. “What’s going on?”
“ I’m waiting for them to let me go home.”
“ No heart attack?”
“ No. I tried to tell you. But I get to do a stress test Tuesday, and they gave me a couple of prescriptions.”
“ Blood pressure?”
“ A little high, but not bad.”
“ So it’s stress.”
“ Most likely.” Chuck sighed deeply. “I feel like a complete failure, on so many levels.”
“ Dad—”
“ Last night, Shannon said I brought a curse on us. That’s why Brad’s dead, why you guys can’t have children.”
“ You don’t believe her, do you?”
“ She makes a good case.”
“ This is not your fault. None of it.”
“ It’s my fault Shannon left.”
“ No, it’s Shannon’s fault. She’s selfish and immature, and I’d like to give her a good spanking.”
“ Now that sounds like a dad.”
“ Yeah, I’ve been practicing.”
Chuck stood and slowly pushed his shirttails into his jeans. “But what if it is because of me that you and Abby . . .”
Joel held up his hand. “First of all, I don’t think God operates that way. Second, God knows what He’s doing. He has to be in control of all this or else He’s not God.”
“ Yeah but . . .”
“ No buts,” Joel said. “Abby and I have both seen doctors. There is no earthly reason why we haven’t had kids yet.” Then he smiled. “No earthly reason.” He pulled up a chair and sat down. “It used to give us fits. We worried and grieved over it, but then I started studying. There are plenty of children in the Bible born to parents who longed for a child and were unable to have any. Men like Samuel, and John the Baptist.” Joel smiled again. “Every one of those children who were so desperately longed for grew up to do great things. Every one of them was specially used by God. He’s going to do something great with our
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