Not you , Sir Derek Rayner, the greatest classical actor on the English stage today.”
He smiled slightly. “As I just said, many actors; do have attacks of stage fright. My friend Rich did, he used to tremble excessively at times. Other actors I know experience nausea, and poor old Larry Olivier had a curious nervous laugh when he first walked onto a stage. At the beginning of his career, that is. He managed to get that laugh under control eventually, at least most of the time.”
“And you, Grandpa? What happens to you?”
“I shake a bit, feel sick, think I’m going to vomit, worry that I’m going to forget my lines and make a fool of myself. I suppose that’s what stage fright is about actually, the terrible fear that one is going to make a mess of it all and look ridiculous in front of an audience.”
“I understand. It must be awful.”
“It is. Fortunately, it doesn’t last long for me.
Once I’ve said my first few lines, I’m off and away, and I forget everything because I’ve become the character I’m playing. The drama of it sweeps me along.”
112 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
“Sometimes I’ve thought that I would like to be an actress, and I once even talked to Grandma about it, but she sort of…put me off.”
“Did she now.” Derek’s eyes twinkled. He continued. “But you should follow your star, my dear, and never listen to anyone.”
“You’d better not let Mom hear you say that; she’ll be mad at you,” Chloe cautioned.
“You’re right, she would indeed be angry. However, she’s bright enough to know that I speak the truth. Shakespeare said it best when he wrote, ‘To thine own self be true.’ You must always remember that. If you live by this yardstick, you won’t go too far wrong.”
“What Shakespeare meant was that we should be true to our own beliefs. Isn’t that so?”
“Indeed it is. You’re eighteen now, Chloe, and growing up fast. It’ll be time for university soon.”
“Yes,” she said quietly, and held her breath for a moment, wondering whether to confide in him.
“That’s a very small yes, and not at all like you.
Why, you sound like a scared little church mouse.”
Chloe had to laugh. “No, I don’t.”
“Well, what about it? I thought it was always Oxford for you.”
When she did not respond, Derek came to a sudden stop, took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Chloe, Oxford is magical…a city of colleges and quads, domes and shining spires, the Bodleian Library, All Souls, and the Union.
Power of a Woman / 113
This glorious place does exist, if you want it, darling.”
“I don’t know anymore, Gramps,” she answered, as always being scrupulously honest with him because of his immense integrity and his love for her.
“I see.” There was a moment’s pause before he murmured, “But you were so very positive about going up to Oxford when you were old enough.”
He stared at her keenly, his eyes penetrating.
“What’s happened to make you change your mind?”
Chloe hesitated fractionally, then answered quietly, “Nothing, not really.” She shrugged her shoulders lightly. “I think…well, to be honest, I don’t want to go to college at all, Gramps. I’d like to…work at Jardine’s.”
“Good God! You can’t be serious!” Not waiting for her to say anything, he rushed on. “I can see that you are very serious from the look on your face.
Why the change of heart, darling?”
“I don’t know; I can’t really explain it.”
“Have you told your mother this?”
Chloe nodded. “Yes, on Wednesday night, when I first got here.”
“Mmmm. Is she pleased that you want to go and work with her at the store?”
Chloe bit her lip. “Mom wants me to finish my education, go to college. More specifically, she wants me to go to Oxford.”
“That’s perfectly understandable.”
114 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “I’d like to work with Gideon at the
He smiled slightly. “As I just said, many actors; do have attacks of stage fright. My friend Rich did, he used to tremble excessively at times. Other actors I know experience nausea, and poor old Larry Olivier had a curious nervous laugh when he first walked onto a stage. At the beginning of his career, that is. He managed to get that laugh under control eventually, at least most of the time.”
“And you, Grandpa? What happens to you?”
“I shake a bit, feel sick, think I’m going to vomit, worry that I’m going to forget my lines and make a fool of myself. I suppose that’s what stage fright is about actually, the terrible fear that one is going to make a mess of it all and look ridiculous in front of an audience.”
“I understand. It must be awful.”
“It is. Fortunately, it doesn’t last long for me.
Once I’ve said my first few lines, I’m off and away, and I forget everything because I’ve become the character I’m playing. The drama of it sweeps me along.”
112 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
“Sometimes I’ve thought that I would like to be an actress, and I once even talked to Grandma about it, but she sort of…put me off.”
“Did she now.” Derek’s eyes twinkled. He continued. “But you should follow your star, my dear, and never listen to anyone.”
“You’d better not let Mom hear you say that; she’ll be mad at you,” Chloe cautioned.
“You’re right, she would indeed be angry. However, she’s bright enough to know that I speak the truth. Shakespeare said it best when he wrote, ‘To thine own self be true.’ You must always remember that. If you live by this yardstick, you won’t go too far wrong.”
“What Shakespeare meant was that we should be true to our own beliefs. Isn’t that so?”
“Indeed it is. You’re eighteen now, Chloe, and growing up fast. It’ll be time for university soon.”
“Yes,” she said quietly, and held her breath for a moment, wondering whether to confide in him.
“That’s a very small yes, and not at all like you.
Why, you sound like a scared little church mouse.”
Chloe had to laugh. “No, I don’t.”
“Well, what about it? I thought it was always Oxford for you.”
When she did not respond, Derek came to a sudden stop, took hold of her shoulders and turned her to face him. “Chloe, Oxford is magical…a city of colleges and quads, domes and shining spires, the Bodleian Library, All Souls, and the Union.
Power of a Woman / 113
This glorious place does exist, if you want it, darling.”
“I don’t know anymore, Gramps,” she answered, as always being scrupulously honest with him because of his immense integrity and his love for her.
“I see.” There was a moment’s pause before he murmured, “But you were so very positive about going up to Oxford when you were old enough.”
He stared at her keenly, his eyes penetrating.
“What’s happened to make you change your mind?”
Chloe hesitated fractionally, then answered quietly, “Nothing, not really.” She shrugged her shoulders lightly. “I think…well, to be honest, I don’t want to go to college at all, Gramps. I’d like to…work at Jardine’s.”
“Good God! You can’t be serious!” Not waiting for her to say anything, he rushed on. “I can see that you are very serious from the look on your face.
Why the change of heart, darling?”
“I don’t know; I can’t really explain it.”
“Have you told your mother this?”
Chloe nodded. “Yes, on Wednesday night, when I first got here.”
“Mmmm. Is she pleased that you want to go and work with her at the store?”
Chloe bit her lip. “Mom wants me to finish my education, go to college. More specifically, she wants me to go to Oxford.”
“That’s perfectly understandable.”
114 / Barbara Taylor Bradford
Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “I’d like to work with Gideon at the
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