Poisonous Desires by Selena Illyria

couldn’t give it to them both.
    Urban shook his head. “No, while I have you here, you’re going to talk to me. You know I don’t fuck around; I haven’t slept with anyone else since I started seeing you, and yes, I do believe I’m seeing you, not dating per se, but we have something.”
    Nadia gritted her teeth in frustration that he wasn’t allowing her to put distance between them and distract her from her emotions. “This isn’t the time and place.”
    Urban snorted. “Yes, it is. I have you here, and I’m going to get to know you, break down those walls around you. I can’t guarantee that we won’t get hurt or burned, but I will kill the person who made you this way.” A growl followed that statement.
    The sound raised goosebumps on her flesh, her lungs constricted, and she couldn’t take in enough air. Nadia jerked her head away, trying to hide and put up barriers between them. Once she was sure she could say something without her letting something slip, she murmured, “What makes you think—?” She couldn’t finish the sentence, couldn’t fathom how to respond, nor did she want to lie to him. Her heart ached at his statement. Only Zerik had made that kind of vow to her. Ephram may be alive, but that was at Zerik’s whim; any moment her father stepped out of line, he was dust. To hear Urban say it, even if he didn’t know her situation, took her breath away. Conflicting emotions filled her: relief at having someone who wanted to take care of her and protect her from the boogeyman in her past, and anger that he dare presume that she needed that kind of shield. Nadia could handle her father, thank you very fucking much.
    “Did you think I wouldn’t notice?” he asked as he turned on the car and pulled out of his space. “You’re trying to keep me at arm’s length. I doubt it has to do with Zerik and what you do for him. It was something else. You pull away from anything personal, you try to change the subject when I’ve tried to talk to you about family, and you refuse to allow me beyond the foyer of your emotions. But you know we’re more than sex. You know that .”
    She chewed on the inside of her cheek to keep quiet. A tremble began in her hands as her legs started to jiggle up and down. Heavy emotions swirled around her chest, making her heart ache to burst to let some of her old wounds go. But if she allowed that, what would happen to her? What would protect her from Urban or from the disappointments of life? What would be her barrier when he let her down or when Zerik couldn’t help her? Who would stand up for her? We’re fine without anyone , she said silently, we can take care of ourselves. We don’t need you. The words were on the tip of her tongue to say, but they refused to come out. She wanted to say the words, to shove him back into that space that she reserved for him, but couldn’t, didn’t have the strength to do it. Already, being with him was wearing away some of her resistance.
    Urban continued to drive, but she felt his hand back on her thigh again. He gave it another squeeze. “Tell me something, anything. How about this, answer this one question. Do you have any siblings? That can’t be too damaging, right?”
    Nadia thought it over. It wasn’t like he could find Milena , right? Besides, he had no clue what her last name was, and telling him wouldn’t hurt too much. It would make him stop asking. Besides, it was a name. She wasn’t going to give him anything else. “I have a sister. I haven’t seen her in a while.” Nadia almost choked on the last part. Why the hell did I tell him that? I’m not drunk! She groaned to herself. More of her barrier wore away at that small confession. Well, at least I didn’t give him her name. She felt a modicum of pride, but her snow leopard only chuffed in amusement. Oh, now you show up, she growled at the cat. It turned with her and sauntered away, plopped down, and went to sleep.
    Urban stopped at a red light, leaned