and I am hard-pressed not to break out into rude, loud laughter.
Marcus retrieves my overnight bag and walks into his flat with me. Inside, he closes his blinds, looking for any sign of Lisa.
"So, how long has she had the hots for you?" I ask him.
"One year. And I've told her every time that I'm not interested in her, at all. She tries every so often. Johanna, she's the personification of insanity - trying to do the same thing every time and hoping for different results every time," says Marcus.
"Well...okay. But if she keeps trying, I'm going to let her have it," I promise him.
"If you have better results than me, have at her!" Marcus suggests.
"Let's see what happens," I say. "I don't want to borrow trouble."
We cuddle with each other on Marcus' long, leather couch. We're lying together, talking and playing with each other's skin when someone knocks at his door.
Marcus gives me a quizzical look. "I'm not expecting anyone. Stay here."
At the door, I hear Lisa's distinctive, nasally voice. Getting up, I join Marcus at the door and take the time to position my left hand on Marcus' chest. My engagement ring glitters in the fading light of day.
"Oy, Lisa. Take a look at this. Marcus presented this to me in the United States and asked me to marry him. We've pledged our love to each other. I've been in love with him since before I got pregnant. He's a good, honest man and he doesn't need to be dragged down by the likes of you. He told you what he thinks of you a few hours ago. If you don't leave - and, if you come back one more time - I'm pressing charges against..."
"D'you know that we slept together just two months ago?" Lisa asks with a look of greed in her eyes.
This stops me. Two months ago - we were on tour and Marcus was still here in England.
I look at him. He's stunned. Do I believe her? Or him? I decide to test her.
"Name something he has on his body that nobody else has," I tell her.
I breathe out a quiet sigh of relief - she's fumbling, trying to think of something that he has on his body. Of course, I'm thinking of the tattooed griffin on his chest.
"Uh...well...he has a mole to the side of his cock," she says triumphantly.
I laugh raucously. "You'll need to do better! He has no such marking on his body."
Meantime, poor Marcus is getting redder and redder.
"Oy, Lisa, just get the fuck off my stoop and don't come back!" Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he dials the number quickly.
Lisa waits, ready to call his bluff.
"Yes, ma'am, I need to report a nuisance at my residence. My name is Marcus Hadley, and I live at..." After he gives his address and the specifics of the situation, he smiles, waiting.
Sure enough, three minutes later, a police vehicle pulls up.
Lisa goes ghostly pale and she turns on Marcus.
"You bastard! I...I loved you!" She wails as the police motion for her to leave the front stoop of Marcus' flat. When she doesn't leave, the stocky policewoman approaches and takes Lisa's arm. Lisa resists, leading to her wrists being placed into handcuffs. Both the female officer and a large, muscular male officer place their hands around both of Lisa's arms and escort her to the police cruiser. Once she is inside, they drive off, taking her to jail.
Marcus sighs. "Thank you."
"Did you sleep with her?" I ask standing still next to him. If I move...and if he says he did...I shall break apart into a million tiny pieces.
"No. Never. I've never been attracted to her and I wouldn't lead her on," says Marcus. His serious eyes communicate the same message. He's telling me the truth.
I melt into his arms and he pulls me close to him. I hear his heart hammering in his chest.
"Let's go inside. Forget the wacky Lisas of the world," he suggests.
Inside, we resume our cuddle on his long sofa. I fall asleep in Marcus' arms and feel myself being carried to his bedroom. Stretching out on his comfortable bed, I feel Marcus removing my clothing. He joins me on the other side of his bed and we both
Marcus retrieves my overnight bag and walks into his flat with me. Inside, he closes his blinds, looking for any sign of Lisa.
"So, how long has she had the hots for you?" I ask him.
"One year. And I've told her every time that I'm not interested in her, at all. She tries every so often. Johanna, she's the personification of insanity - trying to do the same thing every time and hoping for different results every time," says Marcus.
"Well...okay. But if she keeps trying, I'm going to let her have it," I promise him.
"If you have better results than me, have at her!" Marcus suggests.
"Let's see what happens," I say. "I don't want to borrow trouble."
We cuddle with each other on Marcus' long, leather couch. We're lying together, talking and playing with each other's skin when someone knocks at his door.
Marcus gives me a quizzical look. "I'm not expecting anyone. Stay here."
At the door, I hear Lisa's distinctive, nasally voice. Getting up, I join Marcus at the door and take the time to position my left hand on Marcus' chest. My engagement ring glitters in the fading light of day.
"Oy, Lisa. Take a look at this. Marcus presented this to me in the United States and asked me to marry him. We've pledged our love to each other. I've been in love with him since before I got pregnant. He's a good, honest man and he doesn't need to be dragged down by the likes of you. He told you what he thinks of you a few hours ago. If you don't leave - and, if you come back one more time - I'm pressing charges against..."
"D'you know that we slept together just two months ago?" Lisa asks with a look of greed in her eyes.
This stops me. Two months ago - we were on tour and Marcus was still here in England.
I look at him. He's stunned. Do I believe her? Or him? I decide to test her.
"Name something he has on his body that nobody else has," I tell her.
I breathe out a quiet sigh of relief - she's fumbling, trying to think of something that he has on his body. Of course, I'm thinking of the tattooed griffin on his chest.
"Uh...well...he has a mole to the side of his cock," she says triumphantly.
I laugh raucously. "You'll need to do better! He has no such marking on his body."
Meantime, poor Marcus is getting redder and redder.
"Oy, Lisa, just get the fuck off my stoop and don't come back!" Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he dials the number quickly.
Lisa waits, ready to call his bluff.
"Yes, ma'am, I need to report a nuisance at my residence. My name is Marcus Hadley, and I live at..." After he gives his address and the specifics of the situation, he smiles, waiting.
Sure enough, three minutes later, a police vehicle pulls up.
Lisa goes ghostly pale and she turns on Marcus.
"You bastard! I...I loved you!" She wails as the police motion for her to leave the front stoop of Marcus' flat. When she doesn't leave, the stocky policewoman approaches and takes Lisa's arm. Lisa resists, leading to her wrists being placed into handcuffs. Both the female officer and a large, muscular male officer place their hands around both of Lisa's arms and escort her to the police cruiser. Once she is inside, they drive off, taking her to jail.
Marcus sighs. "Thank you."
"Did you sleep with her?" I ask standing still next to him. If I move...and if he says he did...I shall break apart into a million tiny pieces.
"No. Never. I've never been attracted to her and I wouldn't lead her on," says Marcus. His serious eyes communicate the same message. He's telling me the truth.
I melt into his arms and he pulls me close to him. I hear his heart hammering in his chest.
"Let's go inside. Forget the wacky Lisas of the world," he suggests.
Inside, we resume our cuddle on his long sofa. I fall asleep in Marcus' arms and feel myself being carried to his bedroom. Stretching out on his comfortable bed, I feel Marcus removing my clothing. He joins me on the other side of his bed and we both
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