Pieces of Why by K. L. Going Page B

are you still doing up?” Ma asked. “It’s late.”
    I took a deep breath. “Ma,” I said, willing myself to form the word.
    Were you ever
going to tell me why
my father really we
nt to prison? Did yo
u think I’d never fi
nd out?
    What I actually said surprised me. “Do you ever think about moving?”
    Ma let out a little laugh and lay down onto the bed next to me. “Trust me,” she said, “I’ve daydreamed about moving more often than you could ever guess.”
    I turned over, propping myself up on one elbow so we were facing each other.
    â€œThen why don’t we? We could start over someplace different. Someplace where no one knows us, and we could be anyone we want.”
    Ma looked at me strange. “Wouldn’t you miss Keisha too much?”
    The thought of missing Keisha tore through me, but I shook my head. “We’d keep in touch. Please, Ma. Let’s do it.”
    Ma stroked my hair. “Where would we go?”
    I thought it over, excitement building at the possibility that she might say yes. “California,” I said. “We could live by the beach and I could audition for musicals.”
    Ma wrinkled her nose. “California? Really? Too crowded for me. I’d choose someplace vast and open, like Nebraska or Wyoming.”
    â€œThose would work too,” I said, even though I didn’t really want to live in the middle of nowhere.
    Ma just sighed. “Sure would be nice if we could afford it. But you know we’re lucky to have this house. If my grandmother hadn’t left it to me in her will . . .” Ma closed her eyes. “Moving costs money we don’t have and, frankly, I don’t know where I’d be without Ms. Evette to help out with you. I know this isn’t the best area, but we have to make do with what we have. You understand that, don’t you, Tia?”
    I stared up at the ceiling. Tears stung my eyes.
    â€œYeah,” I said. “It’s just . . . I wish . . .”
    â€œWhat do you wish, honey?”
    I wish I didn’t live in the same ci
ty as Danielle Morto
n’s family.
    I shook my head. “Nothing. You should go back to bed. I know you have to work early tomorrow.”
    â€œThat’s true.” Ma got up slowly. She walked over to the doorway and stopped. “You know I love you, right? If there’s something bothering you, you’d tell me?”
    Ma looked so concerned, standing there in her tatterednightshirt, that I didn’t have the heart to hurt her. “Nothing’s wrong,” I murmured, but the minute I said it, I understood something important.
    Lying was exhausting.
    So was hiding. I didn’t want to be the person Keisha’s aunt Loretta thought I’d become. I wanted to be the girl who’d dreamed of changing the world with her voice. I wanted to be the girl who could sing duets with a really great guy if he asked her to.
    But now I knew that wouldn’t happen unless I
made
it happen. If Ma wouldn’t be leaving this city any time soon, then there was something I needed to do.
    Something that made my heart pound and my throat constrict.
    Something that scared me straight down to my bones.

CHAPTER 18
    T HE NEXT NIGHT I was back at Keisha’s. We’d begged for this sleepover, since we’d missed the one on Monday night.
    â€œAre you sure you need to do this?” Keisha asked. Her room was dark and we were hiding under the sheet, lighting the space with a tiny flashlight. “I just don’t see how going to Danielle Morton’s house will do anything other than make things worse.”
    I shook my head. “I told you already. I need to go back to where things went wrong, and if I don’t apologize, no one ever will.”
    Keisha groaned. “But it wasn’t
your
fault! You were four! How exactly were you supposed to stop your butt-brained father from using his