“I cannot fathom how you-" she breaks off crying again, then closes her eyes and regains her stability. “I cannot fathom how you dealt with feeling my pain. You’re so strong. You had to wait so long to feel better. I only waited a fraction of the time you had to,” she finishes , hand brushing through my hair before falling into her lap.
I am at a loss for words. If Katherine isn’t upset with me, then she must believe me; I knew she would. She’s such a fighter, but is truly consumed with self-loathing. It’s gotten better in the past two weeks, even more so with help from Rachel. I can’t tell her that part of my story, the part I know she won’t want to know, because the sun is sinking lower and lower in the peach sky and we should be heading home soon. There is always tomorrow, after all. The thought brings a blinding smile to my face.
“Tristan,” Katie whispers, and then pauses for a minute. “Can we head back? Before I pass out from information-overload,” she attempts to joke, but I can hear the seriousness behind her words.
I stand, and reach down to take her hand. “Absolutely,” I say, pulling her to her feet.
A beam of the setting suns’ rays settles on her face, and I see her green eyes sparkle, something they can’t do in the dark. I had wanted to get everything laid out on the table, so to speak. Today was going to be the day where she discovered everything about me; not just the detrimental things, but the insignificant things that make a human a person. The information I’m keeping secret, for now, will pop the bubble that I feel so secure in.
She keeps her fingers intertwined with mine as we walk over to Dino, who is grazing by a patch of berry bushes. I walk right up to him, unwillingly releasing Katherine’s hand and pull myself up. Scooting back, I lift her slight frame up with no struggle at all, and she is sitting in front of me on Dino, legs straddling the saddle.
We ride the first half of the ride in silence, which is awkward, unlike the quiet from our earlier trek. With Katherine not touching me, I feel on edge and guilty for not telling her what I know about her brother, but I bombarded her with enough information today.
“Tristan?” Katherine says, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I murmur a “huh” in my throat, and she continues after a moment. “You already knew my story when you met me. Why did you have me tell it?”
This is an easy one to answer. Once the questions get more detailed is when I’ll really squirm. She can’t know I’m in love with her; not yet. She would think I’m crazy, just chasing after a girl I’ve never actually met for two years, and expecting her to fall in love with me instantly. She doesn’t know of all the letters we’ve shared, although I didn’t know it was her I was writing to until she told me about David.
No, I will not confess my love for her so soon, with such a heavy secret on my shoulders.
“I wanted to hear it from you. I wanted confirmation that you trust me,” I answer simply, digging my feet into the horses’ sides, making Dino trot faster. “I didn’t want to push you into telling me, but at the same time, I w anted to hear you say it aloud, just to confirm what I already knew. Sometimes it’s nice hearing things out loud,” I finish, feeling foolish and immature.
To my surprise and delight, Katherine leans back into my chest, placing a quick kiss on my cheek before settling her head on my shoulder. I smile , thankful she can’t see my face, which undoubtedly has the goofiest grin imaginable plastered on it. I try to slow my breathing, which has quickened due to Katie’s proximity and the thrill of riding again, in an attempt to jostle her head as little as possible. It isn’t working, and my breaths come in hard gasps. It’ll be a miracle if she doesn’t move away from me.
She doesn’t. In fact, we stay this way the entire ride home, which is faster than before
I am at a loss for words. If Katherine isn’t upset with me, then she must believe me; I knew she would. She’s such a fighter, but is truly consumed with self-loathing. It’s gotten better in the past two weeks, even more so with help from Rachel. I can’t tell her that part of my story, the part I know she won’t want to know, because the sun is sinking lower and lower in the peach sky and we should be heading home soon. There is always tomorrow, after all. The thought brings a blinding smile to my face.
“Tristan,” Katie whispers, and then pauses for a minute. “Can we head back? Before I pass out from information-overload,” she attempts to joke, but I can hear the seriousness behind her words.
I stand, and reach down to take her hand. “Absolutely,” I say, pulling her to her feet.
A beam of the setting suns’ rays settles on her face, and I see her green eyes sparkle, something they can’t do in the dark. I had wanted to get everything laid out on the table, so to speak. Today was going to be the day where she discovered everything about me; not just the detrimental things, but the insignificant things that make a human a person. The information I’m keeping secret, for now, will pop the bubble that I feel so secure in.
She keeps her fingers intertwined with mine as we walk over to Dino, who is grazing by a patch of berry bushes. I walk right up to him, unwillingly releasing Katherine’s hand and pull myself up. Scooting back, I lift her slight frame up with no struggle at all, and she is sitting in front of me on Dino, legs straddling the saddle.
We ride the first half of the ride in silence, which is awkward, unlike the quiet from our earlier trek. With Katherine not touching me, I feel on edge and guilty for not telling her what I know about her brother, but I bombarded her with enough information today.
“Tristan?” Katherine says, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I murmur a “huh” in my throat, and she continues after a moment. “You already knew my story when you met me. Why did you have me tell it?”
This is an easy one to answer. Once the questions get more detailed is when I’ll really squirm. She can’t know I’m in love with her; not yet. She would think I’m crazy, just chasing after a girl I’ve never actually met for two years, and expecting her to fall in love with me instantly. She doesn’t know of all the letters we’ve shared, although I didn’t know it was her I was writing to until she told me about David.
No, I will not confess my love for her so soon, with such a heavy secret on my shoulders.
“I wanted to hear it from you. I wanted confirmation that you trust me,” I answer simply, digging my feet into the horses’ sides, making Dino trot faster. “I didn’t want to push you into telling me, but at the same time, I w anted to hear you say it aloud, just to confirm what I already knew. Sometimes it’s nice hearing things out loud,” I finish, feeling foolish and immature.
To my surprise and delight, Katherine leans back into my chest, placing a quick kiss on my cheek before settling her head on my shoulder. I smile , thankful she can’t see my face, which undoubtedly has the goofiest grin imaginable plastered on it. I try to slow my breathing, which has quickened due to Katie’s proximity and the thrill of riding again, in an attempt to jostle her head as little as possible. It isn’t working, and my breaths come in hard gasps. It’ll be a miracle if she doesn’t move away from me.
She doesn’t. In fact, we stay this way the entire ride home, which is faster than before
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