Phule's Paradise

Phule's Paradise by Robert Asprin (rsv)

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Authors: Robert Asprin (rsv)
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agencies they had been hired through. With that information, it would be a relatively easy matter to engineer a computerized break-in, sneaking carefully prepared resumes and references into the appropriate files.
          "You look at this, Captain," the Voltron said, passing the stack to Phule. "All these hired from same service. Golden Employment Agency."
          "All right," the commander said, idly leafing through the sheets. He had every confidence in Tusk-anini and if the Voltron said they were all from the same source, he was sure they would be. "So what's the problem?"
          "It not exist. No such agency."
          Phule sat bolt upright as if someone had just plugged in his chair.
          "Are you sure?" he said, staring at the pages as if they would talk to him themselves.
          "Yes, Captain. Otherwise not bother you. Check many times. No such agency ... ever."
          "I don't get it, sir." Rembrandt frowned. "How could so many employees use the same fake reference?"
          "It means we aren't the only one sneaking people onto the staff," the commander growled. "That's the trouble with being impressed with your own cleverness. You tend to forget that there are other people out there just as clever."
          "All have same person approve reference check. Huey Mar-tin," Tusk-anini supplied, stumbling a little over the name.
          "The new casino manager," Phule said grimly. "If he's bent, we could have an uphill fight on our hands. Great work, Tusk-anini! If you hadn't caught this, we could have walked into a swinging door."
          "Thank you, Captain," the giant said, drawing himself up proudly to an even greater height.
          "We'll take it from here ... and Tusk? Don't say anything to anyone else about this. Okay?"
          "Can keep secret, Captain. Not worry."
          The officers sat in silence for a few minutes after Tusk-anini had left.
          Finally Phule heaved a sigh.
          "Remember what I was saying about thinking everything was in hand?" he said.
          "This assignment just keeps getting better and better," Armstrong spat bitterly. "If you don't mind my saying so, sir, Headquarters' idea of an easy job in paradise leaves a lot to be desired!"
          "What are we going to do, Captain?" Rembrandt asked, ignoring her partner's irritation. "Should we alert the owner that he's got a rat in the woodpile?"
          "Not just yet," Phule said thoughtfully. "First of all, we don't know for sure what Br'er Huey is up to. He might just be indulging in a little feather-bedding."
          "Feather-bedding, sir?"
          "Filling the roster with friends and family members," Armstrong explained.
          "We're going to hold off sounding the alarm until we've had a chance to check things out firsthand," the commander continued, almost to himself. "Fortunately Tusk-anini's alertness has provided us with a list of exactly who we have to be watching." He tapped the stack of records with a smile. "Lieutenant Rembrandt, be sure this entire list and the complete files of everyone on the list get passed to Mother. In the meantime, I'll get busy and do a detailed check on one Huey Martin."
          "What if it turns out that he is crooked, sir?" Armstrong said. "Him and the people he's been hiring?"
          "Then we lower the boom on him," Phule said grimly. "But not until just before the grand opening. If he is a part of a bigger scheme, we'll let him think it's working, then pull the rug out when it's too late to switch to an alternate plan."
          "But we can't wait that long to dump everybody on the list," Rembrandt protested. "The casino couldn't find that many replacements on such short notice."
          "They can't, but we can," the commander responded with a grimace. "It's going to hurt a little, though. I'll have to reopen negotiations with Tullie for him and his instructors to stay on as a stopgap

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