Philip and the Sneaky Trashmen (9781619502185) by John Paulits

Chapter
One
     
    Philip Felton sprawled on the grass in
the backyard of his house. What a miserable beginning to summer
vacation. He had gotten through fourth grade successfully and now
looked forward to almost three months of glorious . . . well,
glorious anything he wanted. So why did things have to start out so
badly this morning?
     
    ~ * ~
    “ Philip, your room is a
disgrace. I want it clean and neat by the end of the
day.”
    “ Mom, I . . .”
    “ Mom, I nothing. Clean and
neat. Or else. Your Aunt Louise will be here tomorrow, and if
there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s my sister looking down her
nose at my housekeeping.”
    Philip tried to look down his nose.
“Why don’t you just let her? It only hurts your eyes.” He tried
again, and it hurt again.
    “ By the end of the
day!”
    He watched his mother stalk
away and scratched his head. Why would his aunt even go into his room while she
was here? Glumly, he made his way to the backyard lawn.
     
    ~ * ~
    Philip heard a noise, lifted his head,
and saw his best friend Emery Wyatt walking his way.
    “ What are you doing back
here?” asked Emery. “Your mother said you were cleaning your room,
but I knew you weren’t. You never do.”
    Philip glared. “And you do?”
    “ No, I don’t clean your
room. Why would I clean your room?”
    Philip rested his head back
on the grass. “Not my room, dummy. Your room. You don’t clean your room.”
    “ I do when I have to. I
know when it gets messy enough to make my mother
twitch.”
    Philip raised his head again. “Your
mother twitches?”
    “ When my room gets messy
she does.”
    “ I don’t even know what
that means.”
    “ It means I clean it before
she goes from twitchy to screamy.”
    Philip rolled his eyes and lay back.
“Twitchy to screamy,” he mumbled. Aloud he said, “I gotta clean my
room or else.”
    “ Or else what? Twitchy to
screamy?”
    “ Something like
that.”
    “ So clean it.”
    “ I hate cleaning it! After
I clean it, I can’t find anything.”
    “ Hey guys.”
    “ Don’t tell me that’s
Leon,” said Philip.
    “ Yup. It is,” answered
Emery.
    Emery’s unlucky, clumsy cousin Leon
came into the backyard, his wide smile showing off his chipped
front tooth. He had once been jumping up and down on his bed,
missed his landing, and went flying off into his bureau, leaving
behind a pool of blood and a piece of his tooth.
    “ I thought I heard you guys
talking. No school till September. Ain’t it great?”
    “ Yeah, great, Leon,” said
Emery.
    Leon stared at Philip lying on the
grass. “What’s wrong with him? Got no bed?”
    “ His mother said to clean
his room.”
    “ Who’d she say it
to?”
    Philip lifted his head and looked at
Leon. “She said it to me, Leon. To me. Who else would she say it
to?”
    “ My mother never says it to
me,” Leon said proudly. “I’m a good cleaner. I heard my teacher
tell my mother I can’t do much, but I’m a good cleaner. Mrs.
Furfman let me do all the classroom closet cleaning this
year.”
    Emery gave a snort. “So you got 33% in
spelling and 100% in closet cleaning?”
    Leon gave his goofy laugh.
“ Yuk, yuk . They
don’t give marks for closet cleaning. The spelling, though . . .
Doesn’t matter. Mrs. Furfman passed me, didn’t she? You want me to
help you clean your room?”
    Philip sat up. “You mean
it?”
    “ Sure. I’m a good cleaner.
I already told you, didn’t I?”
    Philip got to his feet.
    Emery slid next to him and whispered,
“I wouldn’t let Leon help me do anything. He’s a jinx, a
disaster-maker. You know that.”
    “ Yeah, but I hate
cleaning,” Philip whispered back. “Sure, Leon. You can be my
cleaner.”
    Leon started toward the back of the
house. As he walked, his head went from side to side as he sang,
“I’m gonna be Phil-ip’s cleaner. I’m gonna be Phil-ip’s
cleaner.”
    Philip and Emery shared a
glance.
    “ You’ll be sorry,” said
Emery.

Chapter
Two
     
    Emery left for home,