Phantom Scars by Rose Von Barnsley Page B

freaking girl. I was not going to talk to her about my feelings!
    He must have said something to her, because when I snuggled down into my sleeping bag, she passed me her notebook. It was open towards the middle, and she pointed out the part she wanted me to read.
    "Dr. Greyson said it’d be good for us if I shared some of this with you. I picked an easier section. Please don't read it out loud. I don't want to hear it," she whispered and slid down in her sleeping bag with her back to me.
    I looked at her, stunned for a little while, not sure what to say, but I decided to quickly take the chance I had been given, before she changed her mind and took it back.
    They say my mother is safe, but I don't know for sure. I hope I will be able to see her one day. I miss her, even if she was the one to marry the man who got us into this mess. I think she just didn't know any better. That was just the way she was, head always in the clouds, seeing the best in everyone. I wonder if she is still like that or if she has changed. I kind of hope she hasn't. I want her to still see good in me, if she ever sees me again.
    My heart broke. How could she not see the good in Emma? That was all she was, good and innocent. I watched her snuggle down into her pillow, and then I read on.
    I miss my father. The scene in my head just keeps replaying, and I keep wishing I saw wrong, but I know I didn't. He was shot and fell out the window. I know he is dead. I watched as they killed my father, taunting him with what they were going to do to me first. He died not knowing I was safe, and I hate that. I hope he can see me now and know that I am safe and in good hands with the Clemens family.
    That hurt, I had lost my dad, too, but to see her dad tormented before he died just had to be horrible. I hoped wherever her father was now, he could see she was happy and safe with me.
    Devin is so beautiful. Sometimes it hurts to be with him and know he doesn't see me as a woman, but only a child. I see how he cares for me, and it is impossible for me to hate him. How can you hate a man who lets his life revolve around you? He still watches me. Even when he is busy trying to cook or work, he will glance at me every twenty seconds, sometimes less if I make any sort of noise. I don't think he notices it. I know his family doesn't notice it. If an outsider came into the kitchen, they would think he had a nervous tick. I look for him, too. I counted, and I can't stop looking at him for more than ten seconds. It hurts to look away and not see him. I am not sure why.
    Dr. Greyson wants to do sessions alone, and it scares me so much, but I want to be better, and I need to be able to talk to Dr. Greyson about Devin as well. Besides, there are some things Devin doesn't need to hear. I don't want him to forever see me as a scared child. I am not a child!
    That was where she had asked me to stop. I was so tempted to keep going. I wanted to know more. I wanted more answers, to get inside her mind, but I couldn't betray her like that. She trusted me. I would not betray that trust. I closed the book and handed it over to her. She didn't look at me. I just pulled her back against me. Finally, after a few minutes, she rolled over in my arms, and I kissed her forehead. "Thank you for sharing that with me," I whispered.
    She didn't say anything, just snuggled into me so she could sleep.
    She did the same thing the next night as well, and so we fell into a routine of each night, she would give me her notebook and point out a small section I could read. It wasn't in order, and I didn't think, even if I read it in order, that it would make any more sense. They were just thoughts she had jotted down at the time, just as random as anyone else's would be, some more important than the others, but all were a little peek into her mind.
    She would not look at me as I read them, and she would not say a word. It was understood that I not read them out loud, and I could tell she was skipping some