charming smile. “Please, call me Richard. Or ‘Dick’ after you get to know me a little better.”
Emily sort of laughs, then puts a hand on my shoulder and says, “I wanted you to meet my best friend, and my partner in this competition, Rani Caldwell.”
“Hi,” I say, waving like a dork, not confident enough to shake his hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“Likewise, Rani.”
“And this is… um?” Emily says looking quizzically at Tyler. Before I can say anything, Tyler takes the reins, extending a hand to Richard Gains and shaking firmly.
“Tyler Voss. Great to meet you, Mr. Gains. And can I just say—I saw you play Richard III at BAM two years ago…”
“Ah. Another tricky Dick. And oodles of fun.”
“Yes, well—it totally blew me away. Like… breath taking!”
“Are you an actor yourself?”
“…Is it that obvious?”
“In a good way. I’ll tell you a funny story about how the posture for that role came to me…” Richard Gains puts a manly arm around Tyler as the boys talk shop. Emily asks me who Tyler is and I tell her I’ll explain later. She shrugs it off, gazing out over the crowd, and asks me what we should do first. Before I can answer, she lists some options, but I split my attention, trying to overhear Tyler and the TV star. It’s tough to make it out over Emily’s enthusiastic plans and the crowd noise, but I catch bits and pieces.
“…my soon-to-be-wife-number-three is abroad,” Richard Gains tells Tyler, “shooting a swimsuit calendar… what I wouldn’t give to be in your shoes… the quality of tail has gone up exponentially since I was in high school…”
I lose them as the crowd noise ramps up and Emily gets close to my ear, talking about how we “must, must, must use social media in our presentation.” I see Tyler shake hands goodbye with Richard Gains, who then heads off with the governor and his team: a fleet of boring middle-aged white dudes in grey and navy blue suits, plus one lone girl, in her twenties, who seems too cool for that crowd. Must be someone’s daughter.
Tyler turns to me like a kid who just met Santa Claus. “Ho. Ly. Shit!”
“I know,” I say, noncommittal.
“That dude is epic! D’you know he’s in talks for the starring role in the next Spielberg movie? After the success of Lincoln , he said Spielberg wants to do another American history type film. Some William Jennings Bryant biopic?”
“William Jennings Bryan,” I correct. “No ‘t.’”
“Right. Bryan. Who is that—like a founding father or some VP back in Lincoln’s day?”
“Sort of,” I say. “He was a politician around the turn of the century. Scopes Monkey Trial?”
“Yeah, he said something about monkeys. Maybe it’ll be like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter —like a mash-up of old-timey history and cool shit exploding. I mean, you gotta figure with Gains and Spielberg, it can’t just be like a History Channel doc. It’s gotta be like Planet of the Apes in the Old West or something.”
“One can dream,” I say, but Tyler doesn’t register my sarcasm. He doesn’t seem to register what I say at all .
“Whoo! I’m so friggin stoked! Let’s go kick some hurricane ass!”
As Emily, Tyler and I leave Duffy Square, I can’t help but think: maybe he’s not the man of my dreams after all.
ACT II
SOUND AND FURY
ROBERT
“Ugh,” I say to Mac, “I’m so bloated after gorging on those stupid Duffy Square muffins.” I’m hoping to elicit a sympathetic response or a backhanded compliment about what great shape I’m in, but he just nods absently.
Hurricane Calliope is set to make landfall in twenty-seven hours. Mac and I make our way from the governor’s remarks—with surprise guest Richard Gains (boring)—down to Church Street, where the mass exodus seems to be migrating.
“And seriously,” I continue, “do the people of Cawdor not know that the name ‘Duffy Square’ is totally ripped off the one in New York? I
Emily sort of laughs, then puts a hand on my shoulder and says, “I wanted you to meet my best friend, and my partner in this competition, Rani Caldwell.”
“Hi,” I say, waving like a dork, not confident enough to shake his hand. “It’s a real pleasure to meet you, sir.”
“Likewise, Rani.”
“And this is… um?” Emily says looking quizzically at Tyler. Before I can say anything, Tyler takes the reins, extending a hand to Richard Gains and shaking firmly.
“Tyler Voss. Great to meet you, Mr. Gains. And can I just say—I saw you play Richard III at BAM two years ago…”
“Ah. Another tricky Dick. And oodles of fun.”
“Yes, well—it totally blew me away. Like… breath taking!”
“Are you an actor yourself?”
“…Is it that obvious?”
“In a good way. I’ll tell you a funny story about how the posture for that role came to me…” Richard Gains puts a manly arm around Tyler as the boys talk shop. Emily asks me who Tyler is and I tell her I’ll explain later. She shrugs it off, gazing out over the crowd, and asks me what we should do first. Before I can answer, she lists some options, but I split my attention, trying to overhear Tyler and the TV star. It’s tough to make it out over Emily’s enthusiastic plans and the crowd noise, but I catch bits and pieces.
“…my soon-to-be-wife-number-three is abroad,” Richard Gains tells Tyler, “shooting a swimsuit calendar… what I wouldn’t give to be in your shoes… the quality of tail has gone up exponentially since I was in high school…”
I lose them as the crowd noise ramps up and Emily gets close to my ear, talking about how we “must, must, must use social media in our presentation.” I see Tyler shake hands goodbye with Richard Gains, who then heads off with the governor and his team: a fleet of boring middle-aged white dudes in grey and navy blue suits, plus one lone girl, in her twenties, who seems too cool for that crowd. Must be someone’s daughter.
Tyler turns to me like a kid who just met Santa Claus. “Ho. Ly. Shit!”
“I know,” I say, noncommittal.
“That dude is epic! D’you know he’s in talks for the starring role in the next Spielberg movie? After the success of Lincoln , he said Spielberg wants to do another American history type film. Some William Jennings Bryant biopic?”
“William Jennings Bryan,” I correct. “No ‘t.’”
“Right. Bryan. Who is that—like a founding father or some VP back in Lincoln’s day?”
“Sort of,” I say. “He was a politician around the turn of the century. Scopes Monkey Trial?”
“Yeah, he said something about monkeys. Maybe it’ll be like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter —like a mash-up of old-timey history and cool shit exploding. I mean, you gotta figure with Gains and Spielberg, it can’t just be like a History Channel doc. It’s gotta be like Planet of the Apes in the Old West or something.”
“One can dream,” I say, but Tyler doesn’t register my sarcasm. He doesn’t seem to register what I say at all .
“Whoo! I’m so friggin stoked! Let’s go kick some hurricane ass!”
As Emily, Tyler and I leave Duffy Square, I can’t help but think: maybe he’s not the man of my dreams after all.
ACT II
SOUND AND FURY
ROBERT
“Ugh,” I say to Mac, “I’m so bloated after gorging on those stupid Duffy Square muffins.” I’m hoping to elicit a sympathetic response or a backhanded compliment about what great shape I’m in, but he just nods absently.
Hurricane Calliope is set to make landfall in twenty-seven hours. Mac and I make our way from the governor’s remarks—with surprise guest Richard Gains (boring)—down to Church Street, where the mass exodus seems to be migrating.
“And seriously,” I continue, “do the people of Cawdor not know that the name ‘Duffy Square’ is totally ripped off the one in New York? I
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