Perfectly Reflected by S. C. Ransom Page A

what I had told him, and eventually he straightened his shoulders and looked at me.
    “Catherine is alive.” This time it was a statement, not a question.
    “Yes, alive and kicking.”
    “And she’s the one who’s been making your life miserable.” Another statement.
    “I guess so,” I agreed. “But more importantly, she’s escaped being a Dirge and come back to life.”
    The faraway look was back on Callum’s face. “That’s what happens when we empty a mind – we get our lives back.” His voice was low but excited. “We don’t die, as everyone thinks, but we get our lives back!”
    “I know – isn’t that brilliant! There is a way out of there for you after all – you don’t have to spend eternity reliving the misery of death. You can come over here and join me!”
    He was glowing, as if the excitement had lit him up fromwithin. “We can be together after all,” he breathed, holding me close in the mirror and kissing my ear. “So Catherine must still have your memories and that’s why she knows all the stuff about you.”
    “I know. I’ve been trying not to think too much about that bit. I don’t like the idea of her knowing all the private details about my life,” I admitted.
    His mesmerising eyes scanned the horizon again, and the early morning sunshine picked out the gold in his hair. “She’ll know everything. Every fact about your life so far.”
    I gulped as I thought about that. It wasn’t just the stuff about my friends, or my bank details, that she knew. Every thought I had ever had about Callum, all my desires and fantasies, all could be in her grasp. I hadn’t worked through the implications of that before. “Do you think that’s really likely?” I asked, trying not to sound too horrified.
    “Well, she took everything from you, so I guess she still has it all.”
    “That is so embarrassing. My every thought – not something I really wanted to share with someone else, especially not Catherine.” I paused for a moment. “Mind you, I bet she’ll find some of it pretty nauseating – she doesn’t feel the same way about you as I do!”
    “I’m sure.” There was the ghost of a smile on his lips as he considered that and then his face suddenly fell.
    “What is it?”
    “We’re not going to be able to get me over to you any time soon. There’s a pretty huge problem to solve first.”
    “What’s another problem? We’ve solved plenty already.”
    “I might be able to escape, but I need someone’s memories to do it. I’d have to kill someone.”
    How had I not figured that out? I felt winded; all my excitement suddenly evaporated. Catherine had only succeeded because she had been willing to leave me for dead, and I knew Callum wouldn’t want to do that to anyone.
    “But, can’t we take a copy, like we did before? Is there any way that would work?”
    “Not without involving another Dirge, and I can’t see too many who would be willing to make the sacrifice of their own memory store to keep you safe, can you?”
    I knew the pain he was still in every day from what he had done for me, to keep me alive. And I was pretty sure I only knew about a fraction of it. He loved me too much to let me know the truth. There was no one else who would do that for us. We both sat silently for a moment, him staring into the distance, me considering the scuffed surface of the playground equipment. My mind whirred.
    “Callum, I don’t know what to say. You know that I’ll help in any way I can. Can I give you some of my memories? Can’t we make that work?”
    He looked at me as if I were mad. “What? Don’t be ridiculous!”
    “I’m not being ridiculous. I’m just trying to explore all the options.”
    He pressed the fingers of his free hand into the bridge of his nose and shut his eyes briefly. “Look, I know what you’re doing, and I love you for it, but there are no options. Don’t you understand? Either I kill someone or I stay here!”
    I was stunned into silence.