his own outrage had flushed his face a dark red. “He’s married. No kids. What’s the point of this? Or do you enjoy torturing me?”
So, Lark had passed Meg’s cowardly lie on to Ethan; that was why he’d been so distant. He hadn’t given up on his fantasy about her—he’d just twisted it into an ugly new shape in his mind.
“Lark kept asking me what was going on,” Meg replied slowly, as she tried to size up Ethan’s state of mind. “I hadn’t been talking to her much these last few weeks—because I didn’t know what the hell to say. You kept promising me you’d tell her the truth. And you haven’t. You’ve lied to her, and you’ve been lying to me. What I did was cover for you, damn it.”
“You mean … it’s not true?” he asked, staring at her hungrily.
“Of course, not,” Meg said. “But what difference does that make? You’ve got to deal with this thing, Ethan. You’ve got to talk to Lark.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Ethan said, throwing up his hands. “I’ve been such a total fool. I’ve been utterly, absolutely insane with jealousy ever since Lark told me Friday night about this guy. And the whole time … he was me!” Ethan started to laugh as he took a step toward her.
“No, he’s
not!”
Meg cried. “Listen to me. I feel
nothing
for you. You have to face the fact that this whole thing—it’s unreal on your part. It’s delusional.”
“Meg, please, don’t be like this,” Ethan said, suddenly gripping her hands in his.
“Let me go, Ethan,” she said evenly, though she felt trapped. When he didn’t immediately release her, she struggled against him. The firestorm of the furnaces seemed suddenly louder. He stepped toward her, forcing her arms to his waist, her fists balled in impotent protest.
“It is me you love, Meg,
me,”
Ethan whispered, as Meg tried to wrench her arms free. Ethan tightened the pressure on her wrists to keep her from pulling away. “Why can’t you just admit it?”
“You’re hurting me,” she cried, twisting from him, the pain underscoring the awful reality of her situation: he wasn’t going to let her go. She no longer knew who he really was, let alone how to reason with him. Now, though she was inches from him, she would have been hard-pressed even to describe him. He seemed to loom above her, casting her in shadow. Meg felt her strength dissolve under the sudden rush of a sensation almost unknown to her. Fear.
Then Meg heard the noise in the front office—a door or window slamming. Ethan heard it, too, turning toward the sudden distraction.
“Let me go. Now,” Meg said, trying to keep her voice steady.
He looked down at her with the uncomprehending stare of someone emerging from a dream. Then he nodded, releasing his grip and stepping back from her.
“Oh, Meg.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to tell Lark what you’re going through,” Meg said, the blood rushing back through her fingers. Her uncertainty hardened into resolve. Ethan was out of control, hell-bent on a path of self-destruction that threatened to take with him everyone Meg loved most in the world. The time for doubt and temporizing was over.
“I will,” Ethan said, turning to met her gaze. The anguish in his eyes did not touch her heart at all this time. Her pity for him was now overwhelmed by her fear for the rest of them. He had become such a powerful, dangerous force, and yet Meg was the only one who could see the threat he posed, the tornado spinning them into its devastating spiral.
“You’d better,” Meg said, as she walked away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of his self-made inferno. “Or, believe me, this time I will.”
10
“S he’s hardly a kid anymore,” Meg said, trying again to reassure Lark that Lucinda would be all right. It was the Friday morning after the Columbus Day weekend and Lucinda had been missing since Monday night. Through Meg’s intervention, Lucinda had
So, Lark had passed Meg’s cowardly lie on to Ethan; that was why he’d been so distant. He hadn’t given up on his fantasy about her—he’d just twisted it into an ugly new shape in his mind.
“Lark kept asking me what was going on,” Meg replied slowly, as she tried to size up Ethan’s state of mind. “I hadn’t been talking to her much these last few weeks—because I didn’t know what the hell to say. You kept promising me you’d tell her the truth. And you haven’t. You’ve lied to her, and you’ve been lying to me. What I did was cover for you, damn it.”
“You mean … it’s not true?” he asked, staring at her hungrily.
“Of course, not,” Meg said. “But what difference does that make? You’ve got to deal with this thing, Ethan. You’ve got to talk to Lark.”
“Oh, Jesus,” Ethan said, throwing up his hands. “I’ve been such a total fool. I’ve been utterly, absolutely insane with jealousy ever since Lark told me Friday night about this guy. And the whole time … he was me!” Ethan started to laugh as he took a step toward her.
“No, he’s
not!”
Meg cried. “Listen to me. I feel
nothing
for you. You have to face the fact that this whole thing—it’s unreal on your part. It’s delusional.”
“Meg, please, don’t be like this,” Ethan said, suddenly gripping her hands in his.
“Let me go, Ethan,” she said evenly, though she felt trapped. When he didn’t immediately release her, she struggled against him. The firestorm of the furnaces seemed suddenly louder. He stepped toward her, forcing her arms to his waist, her fists balled in impotent protest.
“It is me you love, Meg,
me,”
Ethan whispered, as Meg tried to wrench her arms free. Ethan tightened the pressure on her wrists to keep her from pulling away. “Why can’t you just admit it?”
“You’re hurting me,” she cried, twisting from him, the pain underscoring the awful reality of her situation: he wasn’t going to let her go. She no longer knew who he really was, let alone how to reason with him. Now, though she was inches from him, she would have been hard-pressed even to describe him. He seemed to loom above her, casting her in shadow. Meg felt her strength dissolve under the sudden rush of a sensation almost unknown to her. Fear.
Then Meg heard the noise in the front office—a door or window slamming. Ethan heard it, too, turning toward the sudden distraction.
“Let me go. Now,” Meg said, trying to keep her voice steady.
He looked down at her with the uncomprehending stare of someone emerging from a dream. Then he nodded, releasing his grip and stepping back from her.
“Oh, Meg.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. “What am I going to do?”
“You’re going to tell Lark what you’re going through,” Meg said, the blood rushing back through her fingers. Her uncertainty hardened into resolve. Ethan was out of control, hell-bent on a path of self-destruction that threatened to take with him everyone Meg loved most in the world. The time for doubt and temporizing was over.
“I will,” Ethan said, turning to met her gaze. The anguish in his eyes did not touch her heart at all this time. Her pity for him was now overwhelmed by her fear for the rest of them. He had become such a powerful, dangerous force, and yet Meg was the only one who could see the threat he posed, the tornado spinning them into its devastating spiral.
“You’d better,” Meg said, as she walked away, leaving him standing alone in the middle of his self-made inferno. “Or, believe me, this time I will.”
10
“S he’s hardly a kid anymore,” Meg said, trying again to reassure Lark that Lucinda would be all right. It was the Friday morning after the Columbus Day weekend and Lucinda had been missing since Monday night. Through Meg’s intervention, Lucinda had
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