Penitence (2010) by Jennifer - Heavenly 02 Laurens

craved knowing what had happened to him. Not seeing Aunt Janis regularly didnt help. I guess we were getting too good at taking care of Abria ourselves, because days went by without herat least, I hadnt seen her. I started wondering if Id lost my gift. I wouldnt put it to the test, even though I was curious. Only an ingrate wouldnt have respect for powers I didnt fully comprehendand had absolutely no control of. Three things bothered me: the never ending question I had about Matthias whereabouts, Brady taunting me and Weston. Id only know about Matthias by the grace of God, and as the weeks dragged on, my iron will didnt hold up very well, vacillating from anger to submission then back to frustration. Mortality meant that I could control what was in my lifeand I hadbut not what was going on in the life yet to come. Every time I saw Brady in the hall at school, or drivingwhereverhe locked on me like a bear on a rabbit. The worst part was the rumors he started about me being possessed. Britt did her best to squelch those, hammering anybody she came across spreading malicious stories. Even Chase told me hed threatened a couple of freshmen hed overheard gossiping. But Bradys influence wasnt something to be easily disregarded. He hadnt played first string football and friend to Weston without garnering some fame and position for himself. Weston lurked like a mystery. Every time I turned around at school he was there, watching me with that piercing stare of mixed messages. What did he want? Britt was sure he was watching her, but I felt his gaze penetrate beneath my skin and knew where his eyes really wereon my soul. I didnt have the heart to tell Britt. Each encounter with Weston left her more and more excited that he was coming back to her. In journalism, I struggled with writing the article. I had two days until deadline and I broke out in a sweat every time I sat facing the computer. Chase stood over my shoulder, and his presence didnt help. Having a hard time? he finally asked. I thought this would be easy to write, but its not. Ask yourself, if you opened the paper and saw the headline: Words from a victim. Or, a victim speaks out. Or, I survived. Or whatever, what would your curious mind demand? I glared at him. He shrugged, taking a step back. Just suggesting. Youre cutting it close to deadline, Zoe. I know, I know. I put my fingers on the keyboard. I could take a vindictive stance, but how many articles like that had already been written? And I didnt have any spite for the driver. People get whats coming to them eventually. I started typing. Dear driver, A few weeks ago, you hit me with your car. Do you remember? Has sitting in an austere jail cell cleared your head and enabled you to think about what happened that night? I hope it has for your sake. And for the sake of other drivers you could endanger by being on the road, driving under the influence. I dont know whether or not you think about me, but I made it through. Im sure you are relieved. Now, you wont have a manslaughter charge on your hands. Im not angry. I dont know if that matters to you. What I hope is that you think about what happened even if only from a self-centered point of view - so you dont drive under the influence ever again. That night, I saw bright lights, heard your brakes scream with mine, and felt shards slice my skin. That night, even though I saw you coming at me and knew there was going to be an accident, I wasnt afraid. I was calm, because I was clean. I was going about my life, doing what I was supposed to do. If my life had ended as a result of that accident, I wouldnt have worried or felt fear. What did you feel? Ive come to realize that our actions bring us peace or fear. I was minding my own, law-abiding business so I felt no fear. You, on the other hand, got in your car and drove when your head wasnt screwed on right. Maybe you didnt feel anything that night. Maybe fear came after, as sobriety sunk in and reality clamped chains around