back to clean me up and apply salve over the welts that have formed. He then cuddles in behind me and pulls me tight against him wrapping himself around me as much as humanly possible.
As I lay wrapped in this man I think about the day we have tomorrow. I have another doctor appointment tomorrow and will find out the baby’s sex. I could have found out a few months back but was alone and not in the right place at the time. Tomorrow Markus will be coming with me and I am excited to see how he acts when he figures out that we are going to see the baby instead of the standard monthly check up.
He has taken to referring to the baby as a boy when he talks about it. We have talked and he doesn’t care either way, girl or boy, as long as both babe and mother are healthy. It is such a joy for me to hear that he is only concerned with our health, the love that he shows through his actions and deeds don’t stop surprising me. As I slowly drift to sleep I am comforted by the man behind me.
I am almost out when I hear words that have me questioning both me, this man, and everything that is going on between us. “I love you, Sweetling. No one and nothing will ever come between us. Not that stupid cunt, Layla, that stupid fuck Tank, or anything else will stand in the way of our family.” Is out on a low whisper as he wraps himself tighter around me and drifts to sleep, the mention of Tank causing me to awaken instantly.
I ease myself out of the bed being careful not to disrupt the man that is next to me. I move quietly into the office and sit at the desk chair, curling up into a tight ball and lose myself in thoughts of the man that left me to get raped and brutalized.
Chapter 21 – Tank
Riding for the past four months is something that must come to an end. I have to get back to Chicago, back to my life, back to my job, my brothers, my club. Facing the fact that she chose to no longer be a part of my fucking life, in the most fucked up way possible, is something that I just need to accept and move the fuck on from.
No matter what I do I cannot get her out of my fucking head though. No matter the number of sluts that I fuck, the number of subs that I scene with, the amount of Jack that I drown myself in; nothing drives her from my head. I wake up sweating and terrorized by the vision I walked in on that night. Most nights no matter who or what fills the void inside of me I am still left wanting the woman who broke me.
When I walked in on Pearl letting those two men have their way with her, I fucking lost it. I headed straight home to pack and hit the fucking road. I only took what I packed in a bag, my bike and headed south. I have picked up a few jobs here and there but have been in the wind for most of that time. Trying to only stop at brother charters that I have not been to, so that none of the brothers know me or the situation I am coming from. Staying only a night or two at each chapter, never long enough for the Prez to call me in, to question my presence at his chapter or reach out to Blaze to try and figure out what the situation is.
I am not sure what Blaze has done or told to anyone including the other chapter Presidents. My disgrace and slut of an ex is not wide spread knowledge, in fact no one seems to know anything of it, which shocks me greatly. Talking with brothers in each of the charters for the short time that I was at them, did not lead to any questioning of my seemingly unacknowledged MIA status from the Chicago charter.
I know that I will have a stern reprimand from the Prez and all my brothers when I return home, but there was no other option for me in that moment. I had to be gone. I am not sure what will happen when I walk back into the Clubhouse in Chicago, but I know it will not be a pleasant experience at all.
I have not even spoken with my parents in the four months that I have been away. I have dropped two signed postcards in the mail to let them know that I am okay, but that is it. I
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