“What?”
“You said there were two reasons you don’t have a boyfriend.”
A laugh escaped me and I answered honestly, before I could think to censor myself—my ease around Harrison and the comfort of his new friendship all the more apparent. “Well, what do they say? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
It was his turn to answer with silence. The artificial smile on my lips faded when I watched his expression soften on me.
“I like to have fun. Always have. I mean, you’ve seen me in action,” I said, my mouth two steps ahead of my heart. “I like sex and I’ve never really made apologies for that. But I don’t think any guy has ever seen how quickly I jump into bed and thought ‘now there’s a girl I can take back home to Mommy.’ You’re either a lady or a tramp and it’s easy to see which one I am.”
“Why do you say stuff like that?” he snapped. My lips were parting to ask him what he meant, but he shook his head angrily and continued. “Like that night, you said I’d think you were a slut for being with me and not knowing my name. I don’t. You’re not.”
The pulse of electricity shooting through my ribcage nauseated me. The dark look in his eyes and the sheer conviction in his voice as he scolded me were things I’d never witnessed from a man. I waited to feel shamed by him. I waited for him to nod in agreement—assuring me that he knew my reasons for barring the notion of our vacation affair were justified. That night he scattered chills over my flesh and elevated me to another plane of ecstasy, I saw something in his eyes. It scared me and intrigued me and crushed me all at once. Harrison saw through my walls without even knowing my name.
“Is that what you think of yourself?” he asked quietly.
“No.” It was only half a lie. The truth was, I tried hard not to think of myself that way, but sometimes the world’s opinion pressed itself upon me. Sometimes I looked in the mirror and saw a stereotype—a busty blonde who spreads her legs easily—though I knew I was more.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. I…I envy you.”
My eyes flashed to meet his and I broke into a smile, letting a laugh distract me from the vulnerable way his gaze made me feel. “Yeah? Wish you could slut it up more often? Have I created a monster?”
“Stop,” he said, moving closer to me. “Stop talking about my friend that way.”
Air caught in my throat as the warmth of his breath tickled the top of my shoulder. “What is there to envy about me?” I whispered.
His deep brown eyes danced across my face for a silent moment. “You’re fearless. Girls I know, girls like Meredith, would never have the guts to take a vacation alone without batting an eye the way you did. You vowed to leave you nine-to-five job behind for a new gig teaching sexy exercise classes! No one does that, but think of how much happier people would be if they did. You don’t ask for opinions, approval, or permission for a single thing in your life because it’s yours . I don’t know. Ninety percent of the time I’ve spent with you, I’ve been fascinated by an amazing, bold, confident, beautiful woman...”
His hand rose to repeat a move from last night, brushing a few windblown strands of my hair away from my face, and he wet his lips.
“And the other ten percent of the time?”
He sighed and his jaw shifted. “You’ve called yourself names and left me wondering about one thing… I just don’t understand why you care so much about what Danielle and Evan would think. Of your trip. Of you and me.”
I pulled a trembling breath in between my lips as I hung on to his words. “I’m not fearless.” I sighed. It was all I could muster. How were my walls so incredibly sheer to him and him alone?
With his fingers still near my face, he traced my jaw delicately and watched the goosebumps break out along my arms. “Tell me what you’re afraid of then,” Harrison murmured, inching even
“You said there were two reasons you don’t have a boyfriend.”
A laugh escaped me and I answered honestly, before I could think to censor myself—my ease around Harrison and the comfort of his new friendship all the more apparent. “Well, what do they say? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”
It was his turn to answer with silence. The artificial smile on my lips faded when I watched his expression soften on me.
“I like to have fun. Always have. I mean, you’ve seen me in action,” I said, my mouth two steps ahead of my heart. “I like sex and I’ve never really made apologies for that. But I don’t think any guy has ever seen how quickly I jump into bed and thought ‘now there’s a girl I can take back home to Mommy.’ You’re either a lady or a tramp and it’s easy to see which one I am.”
“Why do you say stuff like that?” he snapped. My lips were parting to ask him what he meant, but he shook his head angrily and continued. “Like that night, you said I’d think you were a slut for being with me and not knowing my name. I don’t. You’re not.”
The pulse of electricity shooting through my ribcage nauseated me. The dark look in his eyes and the sheer conviction in his voice as he scolded me were things I’d never witnessed from a man. I waited to feel shamed by him. I waited for him to nod in agreement—assuring me that he knew my reasons for barring the notion of our vacation affair were justified. That night he scattered chills over my flesh and elevated me to another plane of ecstasy, I saw something in his eyes. It scared me and intrigued me and crushed me all at once. Harrison saw through my walls without even knowing my name.
“Is that what you think of yourself?” he asked quietly.
“No.” It was only half a lie. The truth was, I tried hard not to think of myself that way, but sometimes the world’s opinion pressed itself upon me. Sometimes I looked in the mirror and saw a stereotype—a busty blonde who spreads her legs easily—though I knew I was more.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. I…I envy you.”
My eyes flashed to meet his and I broke into a smile, letting a laugh distract me from the vulnerable way his gaze made me feel. “Yeah? Wish you could slut it up more often? Have I created a monster?”
“Stop,” he said, moving closer to me. “Stop talking about my friend that way.”
Air caught in my throat as the warmth of his breath tickled the top of my shoulder. “What is there to envy about me?” I whispered.
His deep brown eyes danced across my face for a silent moment. “You’re fearless. Girls I know, girls like Meredith, would never have the guts to take a vacation alone without batting an eye the way you did. You vowed to leave you nine-to-five job behind for a new gig teaching sexy exercise classes! No one does that, but think of how much happier people would be if they did. You don’t ask for opinions, approval, or permission for a single thing in your life because it’s yours . I don’t know. Ninety percent of the time I’ve spent with you, I’ve been fascinated by an amazing, bold, confident, beautiful woman...”
His hand rose to repeat a move from last night, brushing a few windblown strands of my hair away from my face, and he wet his lips.
“And the other ten percent of the time?”
He sighed and his jaw shifted. “You’ve called yourself names and left me wondering about one thing… I just don’t understand why you care so much about what Danielle and Evan would think. Of your trip. Of you and me.”
I pulled a trembling breath in between my lips as I hung on to his words. “I’m not fearless.” I sighed. It was all I could muster. How were my walls so incredibly sheer to him and him alone?
With his fingers still near my face, he traced my jaw delicately and watched the goosebumps break out along my arms. “Tell me what you’re afraid of then,” Harrison murmured, inching even
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