Pastures New by Julia Williams Page B

strange bearded individual Amy had seen the first time she went onto the allotments – so called because he spent most of his time devising more and more deviant ways to kill theslugs who dared trespass across his borders. Saffron had assured her he was harmless, but Amy couldn’t quite get to grips with being friendly with someone who sang to slugs before dousing them in vinegar.
    The Wine Producers, of whom Harry was one, produced a variety of indifferent wines from their grapes and different berries. From time to time they would hold wine-tastings, and Amy in her ignorance hadn’t quite perfected the art of saying no, so she had had to sip her way through some truly disgusting offerings. Harry’s efforts were often somewhat better than the others, and she had had a couple of rather merry evenings trying out his elderberry wine.
    The Guys were two gay couples whose allotments bordered each other, both of which were impeccably tidy, and who, despite their constant bickering about who had the best crop, seemed utterly devoted to each other. All four, however, were keen pranksters, and Amy could well envisage what mayhem they could cause if let loose with fireworks.
    ‘Sounds scary,’ said Amy. ‘When is it?’
    ‘The Saturday after next,’ said Saffron. ‘Oh, and for the last couple of years a whole crowd of us have been coming back here and having drinks afterwards.’
    ‘Well, you can count me in,’ said Amy. ‘And if you want a hand with anything, I’ll be more than happy to help.’
    ‘That would be great,’ said Saffron. ‘It should be good, so long as Gerry behaves himself.’
    ‘What’s it got to do with Gerry?’
    ‘Nothing much, except that he’s got an allotmentover the other side. But he doesn’t use it most of the time. I reckon he thinks that if the allotments are ever up for redevelopment he’ll have a bargaining chip for selling his house. He’s a bit of a persona non grata round here, though, because he started an affair with one of the leading allotmenteers’ wives when he was still married to me. They had a bust-up and the allotmenteer moved away, then Gerry and I split up, and the woman he went off with left him. And everyone had an opinion. I tell you what, I never want to be the subject of so much gossip again.’
    ‘No, I bet you don’t,’ said Amy. ‘So what did Gerry do last year?’
    ‘Well, he took it into his head that he should come along with his latest squeeze, but the kids were so upset about it, they managed to persuade him it wasn’t a good idea. I’m just hoping it doesn’t happen again. I mean, I can’t stop him coming or anything, but he always makes a scene, and it’s so embarrassing. Much better all round if he doesn’t come.’
    ‘Well, hopefully he won’t this year,’ said Amy. ‘Listen, I’d better get off with these now. Why don’t you stay here and have a kip while Ellie’s still asleep? I can pick the kids up, if you like.’
    ‘That’, said Saffron, ‘would be absolutely wonderful.’

    The following weekend, Amy decided that it really was time she went out on the allotments. So, shouldering her spade and pulling on her wellies, and insisting Joshdid the same, she marched out to Caroline’s allotment. It was a clear, cold day in early November, and a low winter sun dazzled her eyes as she looked in horror at the work that lay before her. Even though it was the middle of winter, the allotment was still a tangled mess of brambles and convolvulus. She barely knew where to begin.
    ‘Can I go and play?’ asked Josh, who’d just spotted Matt with Pete.
    ‘Course you can,’ said Amy, and waved at Pete, indicating that Josh was on his way up. ‘Right,’ she said to herself, ‘time for some serious digging.’
    ‘You need a man to help with that, dear.’
    Amy looked up to see Edie looking at her sagely. Or was it Ada? They were interchangeable in her mind. Edie/Ada was heading ominously towards Harry’s allotment with a flask and a