Party of Three: A H.O.T. Cops Novel by Lacey Alexander

in bed, but I guess this situation … intimidated me. It’s strange to … to show desire for someone else in front of you.”
    The light of understanding dawned in his eyes then. “Oh. I guess I can get that. It’s like … you don’t want to hurt my feelings or something?”
    She nodded gently. “Sort of. And … and I guess there’s a part of me that’s afraid of looking really slutty or something. Afraid that if I act like I want this, that even though you think it’s okay with you, maybe it really won’t be. And so … it was just easier to wait for you two to make all the moves and let it happen.”
    He kept his warm gaze on her, reached to caress her cheek. “I promise, baby, this weekend it really is okay. It’s really what I want. You don’t need to be shy. Whatever your body wants, I want you to have it. That’s the gift ,” he said as if to drive the point home. Again.
    “And it’s a little weird with Rogan,” she went on, thinking aloud now, getting more comfortable with the topic. “I mean, I know he and I are long in the past, but once upon a time I cared about him, and I have to wonder what he thinks about me doing this.”
    At this, however, Ethan raised his eyebrows. “Rogan? Seriously? I’d think you’d know Rogan well enough by now to realize that he’s, uh, not a judgmental kinda guy. In fact, when I invited him, he told me this wouldn’t be his first time doing something like this.”
    Mira blinked, utterly surprised. “Really? I didn’t know that.”
    “I think it happened after you. But anyway, he’s all about having sex and having fun—and he even said he liked the idea of you opening up that much, being that free. He always felt you held back a little.”
    Hmm. Rogan would think that. But it bothered her. Because she had been fully open with him. Or at least she’d thought so. Though maybe he’d yearned for a true wild woman; maybe that was the way to Rogan Wolfe’s heart.
    She decided not to dwell on her past with Rogan at the moment, though. This weekend wasn’t about their past, after all—it was about right now. And in a way, it was also about the future. So she changed the subject to something else still lingering on her mind.
    “I … never quite realized it was only you and Rogan who were involved in that hostage situation.”
    “Well, there were the other local cops.”
    “I know. I just meant I didn’t realize you were the only two from your team. And I guess it just surprises me a little that you could go through something like that with someone and not, you know, feel a little closer to them than you and Rogan do. Or … am I thinking like a girl here?” she asked with a grin.
    But Ethan just shrugged. “You know Rogan and me just don’t have much in common—other than softball, the badge, and you. And I gave up the badge. And he …” Then his face clouded.
    “Gave up me,” she finished for him. “That’s okay, you can say it. It’s true. And I got over it a long time ago.” Or … well, she’d always thought she’d gotten over it. But last night … for her anyway, it was just hard to have sex with a guy and not have it mingle with emotions. Hard to impossible. Not that Ethan needed to know that, at least not right now.
    “So …” Ethan said with a soft grin, “back to us. Are we good?”
    “I’m good if you’re good,” she said with a small smile.
    His grin widened. “Well, I’m good if you’re enjoying this to the fullest.”
    She gave him another nod. “I will. I mean, I’ll try anyway.”
    “Just … make it whatever you want it to be, honey. Okay?” he said with a wink. “It’s really okay for you to … cut loose, follow every urge you want to follow. I promise.”
    And she leaned down and kissed him. Her way of saying thank you. And I love you . And I will . Because she was beginning, slowly but surely, to understand this. To understand that she needed a new attitude here.
    This was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity,