Paper Aeroplanes by Dawn O'Porter

ignore.
    He puts down the console and exhales like I have just asked him to loan me some money. He huffs.
    ‘Don’t you feel sad?’ I ask.
    Julian shrugs.
    ‘Julian, you’re just like her.’ I start to cry.
    He looks at me. ‘Don’t you have anyone else you can cry to? What about that friend of yours? The one with the white jeans? The one who carried you home that night. Go and see her.’
    ‘Renée isn’t really my friend,’ I sniff.
    ‘Well, what about the other one with the mean face and the big tits? Go cry at her.’
    ‘Julian, our dad just died. Doesn’t any part of you want to talk about it with me? You and Mum act like you wanted it to happen. Do you care at all?’
    ‘Of course I care, Flo. But he was a mess. Maybe his heart did him a favour.’
    ‘Julian, don’t say stuff like that! He would have got himself back together eventually. He just needed to be away from Mum long enough to work out what to do. He was going to be fine.’
    ‘Maybe he was. But I guess we will never know now, will we?’
    I know. That’s all that matters.

5
A Secret Affair
Flo
    I go back to school exactly nine days after Dad died. No time at all really, but I feel like I’ve been away forever. When I walk into the classroom everyone goes quiet. Sally does an awkward skip up to me and links my arm as if to claim me before anyone else can, then leads me to my desk like she’s helping a granny cross a road. Something she would never actually do.
    ‘God, stop staring, everyone. Her dad died, she didn’t grow another head.’ The ease with which she says ‘her dad died’ shouldn’t shock me as much as it does.
    I sit down and she starts to arrange my things. This is very out of character, and very annoying. I sit up straight with my hands by my side and wait until she has finished.
    ‘Best friends do this kind of thing for each other, Flo.’
    ‘What
are
you doing?’
    ‘What does it look like I am doing? I am organising your things because it’s all such a mess.’ She empties my pencil case and puts back only half of what she has tipped out before throwing the rest in the bin. ‘Less is more. When you are depressed you mustn’t be surrounded by clutter.’ She turns around to look at Renée, who is scratching noughts and crosses symbols onto her desk. ‘
This
is what friends do for each other in times of need.’
    ‘Good morning, everybody.’ Miss Anthony comes in. She looks nice. She has a tight-fitting, grey wool polo neck on with a silver brooch and a long black skirt. Seeing me at my desk, she comes over. Everyone pretends to talk while actually they are listening in.
    ‘Welcome back, Flo. If you need anything just let me know. I’m sure Renée and Sally will take care of you until you find your feet again,’ she says.
    I take a sharp intake of breath. Sally’s face is fluorescent red, her lip curled up to show her teeth. When that happens I know she is seriously mad. As Miss Anthony walks away Sally puts her face right up against the side of mine and says, ‘If you ever become friends with Renée Sargent, I will make your life a living hell.’
    Assembly is awkward. The usual shuffle is replaced by solid silence as I walk in. If I was more of an exhibitionist I might enjoy it, but the truth is I’d prefer to be invisible. I don’t enjoy attention at the best of times, but a room of four hundred girls in green uniforms staring at me is oddly chilling. ‘It’s because they all think he killed himself’ is no reassurance from Sally.
    Miss Grut comes in. She is such an odd woman. I watch her, trying to work out why this stony, cold woman was the one who broke the news to me that my dad had died. It isn’t that she isn’t nice, she just doesn’t really have a personality. I’ve never really seen her express anything more than slow claps and half-nods, the odd smile, and telling people off for running in the corridor. I can’t imagine her being any different at home. I can’t imagine her cuddling