Our Lady Of Greenwich Village by Dermot McEvoy Page A

“don’t leave home without it,” his phone was ringing. It was Pepoon.
    â€œTone, old chum,” he said, “I think we have them now.” With not too subtle threats from Pepoon’s lawyers, O’Rourke found himself within the week holding a check for $75,000 for “consultation fees.” Right then, O’Rourke knew that he would never again have trouble finding and holding a job, no matter what a classic fuck-up he was.
    Neither Pepoon nor O’Rourke would be unemployed for long. Soon Pepoon bought the long vacant Northern Dispensary building at the corner of Waverly & Waverly in the Village and set up Northern Dispensary Associates, which specialized in ad campaigns, and many of his old accounts came over. Then luck took over in the form of Harris Landsdown, Pepoon’s classmate from Harvard, who was running for the Republican nomination for Senator in California.
    Landsdown was in trouble. He was terrible on the stump and all he had was money. But Cranston, the Democrat incumbent, was thought unbeatable, so there were few who wanted the Republican nomination. In any election, Landsdown thought, there was always that chance of winning. And he wanted that chance. There was only one thing between Landsdown and the nomination—Charlton Heston, who was also looking for the Republican endorsement.
    Landsdown turned to Winthrop Pepoon for some media advice. Pepoon wasn’t quite sure what should be done. He called in O’Rourke. After being introduced and told the situation O’Rourke was blunt. “I don’t work for Republicans,” he said. “Sorry.”
    â€œFor Christsakes, Tone,” said Pepoon, “Harris here isn’t a bad guy. Look at Heston. He’s a lackey for the goddamn NRA.”
    â€œOkay,” conceded O’Rourke. “I’ll help you this time, but only against Heston. I’m for Cranston in the general election.”
    â€œThat’s fine,” said Landsdown. “I can live with that.”
    â€œBut you have to do what I say,” said O’Rourke. “Okay?”
    â€œI’m in,” said Harris Landsdown. Winthrop Pepoon began to feel uncomfortable.
    O’Rourke sent a researcher to find pictures of Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes . When the researcher returned, O’Rourke flipped through them, selected one, and went to the typewriter. He typed less than thirty seconds before pulling the paper out of the machine and showing it to Landsdown. In it was Charlton Heston in a G-string, his back to the camera. He handed the paper to Landsdown. It read: “Isn’t it time we put Charlton Heston behind us? Vote Landsdown on primary day.”
    Landsdown started laughing. “What do you want me to do with this?”
    â€œI want you to put this up on a billboard on Sunset Boulevard, as big as possible. You won’t have to worry about Chuck Heston any more,” assured O’Rourke.
    â€œI can’t do that,” said Landsdown.
    â€œYou can’t beat this guy one-on-one. He’s got the recognition factor, he’s smooth, a professional actor, for Christsakes. He’ll kill you. You have to shame these guys. You can’t believe the egos on them. This will work.”
    â€œWhat do you think, Winthrop?” asked Landsdown.
    â€œLet’s face it, Harris. It’s worth a try. You’ll be spending your money for nothing if this guy builds up momentum.”
    Harris Landsdown did as he was told and Charlton Heston decided that he had to go to Australia for the summer to make a made-for-TV movie. O’Rourke had literally laughed him out of the country. Harris Landsdown won the nomination for the U.S. Senate and was beaten by Alan Cranston in the general election. And Northern Dispensary Associates got a reputation.
    â€œI killed Moses,” bragged O’Rourke.
    As the word spread about O’Rourke’s campaign, other politicians came looking to