When theyâd first married, heâd been frightened at the intensity of Ceilâs cries as she lay sleeping. When he spoke to her about them, seeking the cause, sheâd said simply, âI have nightmares, Henry, I always have had. I canât stop just because I married you,â and heâd said, âWhy not? Iâm here to watch over you. You donât have to worry anymore.â Sheâd just given him a look. Her nightmares had continued and when he asked what they were about, although he knew she thought his questions unnecessary, she felt he was prying, she always said she couldnât remember.
âHow about you?â sheâd demanded. âHow come you donât ever tell me about your dreams?â Startled, heâd said, âI donât ever dream,â which was true. And sheâd said, âThatâs because you have no conscience.â Maybe that was true. He didnât think it was, but maybe sheâd hit on something vital in his character.
Just before heâd asked Ceil to marry him, he and his father had lunch together. It seemed a proper formality. That and asking Ceilâs father for her hand. He believed in going through the motions. His father had taken the news by saying, âItâs a tremendous responsibility, Henry. A wife and family. Hard work, too. A lot of forgiveness is involved. And pain, as well as joy. Families inflict wounds. A family is the most complex entity I know of. Very complex. Canât even begin to tell you. Itâs something you have to learn for yourself. If the familyâs strong, thereâs nothing stronger. I advise you to think long and hard before you settle into the role of a family man.â And he had. Two whole weeks heâd thought over what his father had said. In the end, Ceilâs golden arms, her walk, the way she held her head, had ensnared him. Theirs had been, still was, a splendid love affair. Those were the words he gave to it in the deep night. A splendid love affair. He would want as much for his children, for each of them to know a marriage like his and Ceilâs.
Sleet and freezing rain slapped and tickled the windowpanes. Tomorrow would be a mess getting to the station. As he began the long slide into sleep, he thought with satisfaction that the back of February was almost broken. March heralded spring.
9
âHow do you suppose they manage to make macaroni and cheese taste like live worms?â Keith poked a fork at him, just missing his nose. âIt must be Gleasonâs grandmotherâs ancient recipe.â
He chewed absentmindedly. âI read in the paper that people in some parts of the South eat dirt,â he said. âThey dig it up and put it in paper bags and take it home. It isnât just because theyâre poor, they like the taste.â
âCrazy.â Gloomily, Keith contemplated the ceiling of the dining hall, adorned with an intricate pattern of grease spots put there by expert practitioners of the ancient art of slinging butter pats. Margarine pats, to be exact.
Outside, snow swirled, thick, wet flakes that hugged the ground and disappeared the second they hit. With any luck at all, the storm would continue through the day and night, and tomorrow the intrepid students would be free to wallow in the snow drifts, cut loose from school due to hazardous driving conditions.
âWhenâre you going to Florida?â he asked, peeling an orange. He managed to do it so the skin fell away from the fruit in one unbroken arc. It was one of his talents.
Keithâs jaws worked on the macaroni as if heâd landed a piece of underdone wild boar. He drank half a glass of milk without answering.
âWhenâs the wedding?â he asked, thinking Keith hadnât heard.
When Keith finally looked at him, his eyes were hard and slick, without expression; a dollâs eyes, filled with the strange light that meant Keith had slid away from where
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