baby. The stigma you’re bringing to her.
I’m worried he might be right. Tiny baby Martha. So perfect. I want her to grow up with every possibly happiness. I want to be much stronger. I want to say I don’t care but already people are staring. Already some aren’t coming into the cafe. Damn them. I just wish I didn’t care.
Chapter Eighteen
‘The problem is, Jane…’ Annie’s boyfriend Matt paused for a quick gulp of coffee. ‘He’s a man.’
‘Oh god!’ Annie rolled her eyes and smacked her hand down on the cafe table. ‘That is such a shit excuse. You can’t just say that he’s a man and thereby he gets to act like a complete dick.’
‘No, no, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that, well, you’d turned him down. To him… Well…’
Annie turned to look at Matt, her eyes wide, as if waiting, ready to challenge whatever nonsense he had to say next.
‘I think what he means is…’ Jack Neil lifted his arm from where it was draped around Emily’s shoulder and leant forward, thrumming his fingers together as he thought how best to word his answer. ‘Is that to him, maybe it’s a… How do I best phrase this? A er—’
‘Wasted night?’ Matt offered.
‘Yeah,’ said Jack. ‘Yeah, a wasted night.’
‘What, because she didn’t jump into bed with him?’ Annie asked, incredulous.
‘If you want to put it in terms like that, yes.’ Matt was smiling.
‘I’m ashamed,’ said Annie.
‘What of?’ Matt asked. ‘Men?’
‘Yes.’
Jack snorted a laugh. ‘I’ll agree he could have had the decency to walk a couple of blocks up the road. But obviously the guy’s a fast mover.’
They were sitting round a table in The Dandelion Cafe and shamefully Jane had almost cried when she’d started to tell Annie and Co about what had happened at The Ritz. She’d said that it wasn’t the fact that Will had gone off with someone else that upset her but because she felt so foolish for building their evening up into something it wasn’t. No one seemed to quite believe her, but they went along with it anyway. Like a big cliché, Emily and Annie had come up with a thousand excuses as to why Will had behaved the way he had, wondering if maybe the girl was his sister and maybe Jane had read it all wrong, while Matt and Jack had sat back wincing slightly. Now they were all looking at her pityingly, even Matt’s son River.
‘Stop it,’ she said. ‘All of you, stop looking at me like that. I’m not stupid. I didn’t think it was going be anything major, I just wish that…’ She paused and glanced around the table taking in who she was with and wishing for a moment that the men weren’t there but knowing that they’d just have been told second-hand by Annie and Emily if they weren’t. She lowered her voice and said, ‘I just wish I’d shagged him. You know?’
River sniggered.
‘Blimey, Jane,’ Emily snorted a horsey laugh.
‘Yeah well. I just wish I’d bloody done it, you know, and then I could be like everyone else and have had some wild, crazy one-night stands rather than be all stupid and old and prudish.’ She laughed then and put her head on the table. ‘River, I don’t think you should be listening to me. I am still your elder and you must respect me,’ she added, glancing up at him as he giggled around the straw of his milkshake.
‘The guy’s just clearly an idiot,’ said Annie and stood up to go back to work behind the counter.
Jane sighed and picked up her tea up, cradling it in her hands as she realised it was time to let it go, just forget about it. It had taken her almost all weekend before she’d finally come clean about what had happened at The Ritz. It was Sunday morning and they were meant to be making plans for a barbecue that evening at Matt and Annie’s but no one had decided anything, just talked about her disastrous love life. ‘Yes,’ Jane said in the end. ‘Yes. You’re right. From the moment I met him I knew he was an idiot.’
Emily
I’m worried he might be right. Tiny baby Martha. So perfect. I want her to grow up with every possibly happiness. I want to be much stronger. I want to say I don’t care but already people are staring. Already some aren’t coming into the cafe. Damn them. I just wish I didn’t care.
Chapter Eighteen
‘The problem is, Jane…’ Annie’s boyfriend Matt paused for a quick gulp of coffee. ‘He’s a man.’
‘Oh god!’ Annie rolled her eyes and smacked her hand down on the cafe table. ‘That is such a shit excuse. You can’t just say that he’s a man and thereby he gets to act like a complete dick.’
‘No, no, I’m not saying that. I’m saying that, well, you’d turned him down. To him… Well…’
Annie turned to look at Matt, her eyes wide, as if waiting, ready to challenge whatever nonsense he had to say next.
‘I think what he means is…’ Jack Neil lifted his arm from where it was draped around Emily’s shoulder and leant forward, thrumming his fingers together as he thought how best to word his answer. ‘Is that to him, maybe it’s a… How do I best phrase this? A er—’
‘Wasted night?’ Matt offered.
‘Yeah,’ said Jack. ‘Yeah, a wasted night.’
‘What, because she didn’t jump into bed with him?’ Annie asked, incredulous.
‘If you want to put it in terms like that, yes.’ Matt was smiling.
‘I’m ashamed,’ said Annie.
‘What of?’ Matt asked. ‘Men?’
‘Yes.’
Jack snorted a laugh. ‘I’ll agree he could have had the decency to walk a couple of blocks up the road. But obviously the guy’s a fast mover.’
They were sitting round a table in The Dandelion Cafe and shamefully Jane had almost cried when she’d started to tell Annie and Co about what had happened at The Ritz. She’d said that it wasn’t the fact that Will had gone off with someone else that upset her but because she felt so foolish for building their evening up into something it wasn’t. No one seemed to quite believe her, but they went along with it anyway. Like a big cliché, Emily and Annie had come up with a thousand excuses as to why Will had behaved the way he had, wondering if maybe the girl was his sister and maybe Jane had read it all wrong, while Matt and Jack had sat back wincing slightly. Now they were all looking at her pityingly, even Matt’s son River.
‘Stop it,’ she said. ‘All of you, stop looking at me like that. I’m not stupid. I didn’t think it was going be anything major, I just wish that…’ She paused and glanced around the table taking in who she was with and wishing for a moment that the men weren’t there but knowing that they’d just have been told second-hand by Annie and Emily if they weren’t. She lowered her voice and said, ‘I just wish I’d shagged him. You know?’
River sniggered.
‘Blimey, Jane,’ Emily snorted a horsey laugh.
‘Yeah well. I just wish I’d bloody done it, you know, and then I could be like everyone else and have had some wild, crazy one-night stands rather than be all stupid and old and prudish.’ She laughed then and put her head on the table. ‘River, I don’t think you should be listening to me. I am still your elder and you must respect me,’ she added, glancing up at him as he giggled around the straw of his milkshake.
‘The guy’s just clearly an idiot,’ said Annie and stood up to go back to work behind the counter.
Jane sighed and picked up her tea up, cradling it in her hands as she realised it was time to let it go, just forget about it. It had taken her almost all weekend before she’d finally come clean about what had happened at The Ritz. It was Sunday morning and they were meant to be making plans for a barbecue that evening at Matt and Annie’s but no one had decided anything, just talked about her disastrous love life. ‘Yes,’ Jane said in the end. ‘Yes. You’re right. From the moment I met him I knew he was an idiot.’
Emily
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