eased back, I reach from my glass of wine on the bedside table. Dread moves in icy spikes through my digestive lining. He’s trying to be light of mood. I’m trying to be light of mood. But it’s not going to work. It won’t change a thing. Some things you can’t ignore.
My finally securing a job, a job that moves me to the UK, is like an eerie fucking omen. It’s time for me to let go of Jack. I don’t have a choice. This custody battle changes everything. He doesn’t have a choice either. He’ll figure that out in time.
I take a sip of wine to fortify myself. He sinks on the bed beside me.
“Was it always this way between you and Walter?” I ask.
“More or less.”
“Why?” I take another sip of wine. “Why does Walter have such a problem with you?”
Jack shrugs. “Ancient history. Not worth talking about.”
“How long will you be gone? You’re having dinner with Chrissie after her riding lesson, right?”
His eyes flash. “I won’t be gone. We’ll be gone, Linda. Get dressed. I want you to meet my daughter, finally, and have dinner with us. I’m not leaving you here.”
I try to keep all emotion stripped clean of my face. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
He stares at me, his gaze intense. “I think it’s a very good idea, Linda.”
Oh Jack, why are you so unrealistic at times. The dreamer and the cynic. That’s what we are.
The seconds tick by as I search for the words.
“I think it’s better I don’t go today.”
He frowns. “I’m not doing it, Linda. I’m not leaving you behind in a hotel room and pretending like there isn’t someone significant in my life. You don’t think very highly of me, if you think that’s an acceptable circumstance for us.”
Carefully, I say, “If Walter is dug in, ready to go to war with you over custody of Chrissie, I’m not the girl to take to Pasadena. Not today. I’m like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull.”
He stands up, tense and frustrated.
“Why the hell would you say that? You are beautiful. Intelligent. Educated. Kind.”
I shake my head, a little frustrated myself now. “God, how can such an intelligent man be so blind, so often.”
His brows shoot upward and his stare grows wide. “Enlighten me.”
“This isn’t a good thing, Jack. Taking me to meet your daughter. Not smart at all, not at this time, and I won’t do it. It will hurt you. It will hurt her. It will hurt me and I won’t do that.”
His blues eyes dissect my face and then he shoves his hands deep in his pockets. “There is absolutely no reason not to bring you, Linda. Get dressed.”
“Well, then you’ve missed a few things. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see we come from vastly different backgrounds. My status, or more inferior status, will be obvious to a guy from Pasadena. And …”I caution myself. Tread carefully, Linda. Pick smart words. This needs to be said, but say it wisely. “…I don’t think Walter is an asshole. He isn’t being vindictive. He sounds to me like a loving grandfather. Misguided, but for the right reasons. Your daughter is going through something. I don’t think Walter would have stepped in otherwise. Maybe just a normal rough patch, but something is going on with her, Jack. That’s why Walter is foolishly trying to take custody away from you. And the last thing Chrissie needs is you tossing me into her world unannounced today.”
“Chrissie would be lucky to have you in her life. I am lucky to have you in my life.”
I let go of his hand and step back. “But I’m not in your life, Jack. I’m something you do every few weeks in a hotel room. This legal problem with Walter means we should keep it that way. You’ve got enough to deal with as it is. You don’t need to add me to an already complicated and contentious situation.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I meet his heated blue stare. “It means until this issue with Walter is resolved love me. Fuck me. Then go home and
My finally securing a job, a job that moves me to the UK, is like an eerie fucking omen. It’s time for me to let go of Jack. I don’t have a choice. This custody battle changes everything. He doesn’t have a choice either. He’ll figure that out in time.
I take a sip of wine to fortify myself. He sinks on the bed beside me.
“Was it always this way between you and Walter?” I ask.
“More or less.”
“Why?” I take another sip of wine. “Why does Walter have such a problem with you?”
Jack shrugs. “Ancient history. Not worth talking about.”
“How long will you be gone? You’re having dinner with Chrissie after her riding lesson, right?”
His eyes flash. “I won’t be gone. We’ll be gone, Linda. Get dressed. I want you to meet my daughter, finally, and have dinner with us. I’m not leaving you here.”
I try to keep all emotion stripped clean of my face. “Do you think that’s a good idea?”
He stares at me, his gaze intense. “I think it’s a very good idea, Linda.”
Oh Jack, why are you so unrealistic at times. The dreamer and the cynic. That’s what we are.
The seconds tick by as I search for the words.
“I think it’s better I don’t go today.”
He frowns. “I’m not doing it, Linda. I’m not leaving you behind in a hotel room and pretending like there isn’t someone significant in my life. You don’t think very highly of me, if you think that’s an acceptable circumstance for us.”
Carefully, I say, “If Walter is dug in, ready to go to war with you over custody of Chrissie, I’m not the girl to take to Pasadena. Not today. I’m like waving a red flag in front of an angry bull.”
He stands up, tense and frustrated.
“Why the hell would you say that? You are beautiful. Intelligent. Educated. Kind.”
I shake my head, a little frustrated myself now. “God, how can such an intelligent man be so blind, so often.”
His brows shoot upward and his stare grows wide. “Enlighten me.”
“This isn’t a good thing, Jack. Taking me to meet your daughter. Not smart at all, not at this time, and I won’t do it. It will hurt you. It will hurt her. It will hurt me and I won’t do that.”
His blues eyes dissect my face and then he shoves his hands deep in his pockets. “There is absolutely no reason not to bring you, Linda. Get dressed.”
“Well, then you’ve missed a few things. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see we come from vastly different backgrounds. My status, or more inferior status, will be obvious to a guy from Pasadena. And …”I caution myself. Tread carefully, Linda. Pick smart words. This needs to be said, but say it wisely. “…I don’t think Walter is an asshole. He isn’t being vindictive. He sounds to me like a loving grandfather. Misguided, but for the right reasons. Your daughter is going through something. I don’t think Walter would have stepped in otherwise. Maybe just a normal rough patch, but something is going on with her, Jack. That’s why Walter is foolishly trying to take custody away from you. And the last thing Chrissie needs is you tossing me into her world unannounced today.”
“Chrissie would be lucky to have you in her life. I am lucky to have you in my life.”
I let go of his hand and step back. “But I’m not in your life, Jack. I’m something you do every few weeks in a hotel room. This legal problem with Walter means we should keep it that way. You’ve got enough to deal with as it is. You don’t need to add me to an already complicated and contentious situation.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
I meet his heated blue stare. “It means until this issue with Walter is resolved love me. Fuck me. Then go home and
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