that.”
He was right. There was no hell for sneaky, slimy men who cajole and seduce. Who pet and pretend to care while all the time they’re waiting to strike. No, hell is saved for victims of men like that. Stupid girls like me.
“Carly!”
I jumped and then froze as his hand slapped the door behind me, but he didn’t try to come in. There was a dull thud higher up like his forehead landing against the cheap wood.
“You’re killing me. Please open the door.”
“I will kill you, Sam,” I choked out. “If you touch me I’ll kill you, I swear. It might take me hours but I will find a way to beat you. I won’t let you hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to know what’s wrong with you.”
“ You are what’s wrong with me. All your sweet words and comforting embraces. Lies to keep me weak. Make me dependent on you until you could get whatever it is you want from me.”
I could hear the sigh through the door before he spoke. “Baby, I don’t have any idea what you are talking about. I don’t want anything but you. I thought we were in this together? What changed?”
“I found the truth. The thing I always knew in the back of my mind. Tell me why, Sam. Did you know who I was the night we met at that club? Did you seduce me to find out about Mitchell’s operation?”
“Operation? The club? You think I was undercover there? And that you’re part of my cover? Don’t you understand what’s happened here? We’re both in huge trouble and you’re in danger. The people your boss worked for are seriously connected in the drug game. I don’t know why they kidnapped and threatened you, or tried to run us off the road tonight. But I’m going to find out. I’m going to keep you safe from all this, no matter what it takes. My case, my career, they mean nothing if you get hurt.”
Again, he had all the beautiful words. The ones I’d believed when we were in bed together. But I wouldn’t be swayed by pretty words anymore. I didn’t know why he’d done it, or when it started. But he was involved somehow and that’s all that mattered.
Of course, now it all made terrible sense. The ease with which I was taken from my apartment when he just happened to leave. The mole inside the police department. The way they always found us. The two warehouses. I was no expert in criminal enterprises but I’d seen enough movies and television shows about dirty cops. Maybe Sam had started out as he said. A cop who looked young and rough enough to get in with drug dealers. Maybe they offered him money or power. I knew he came from a difficult upbringing and could almost understand giving in. The city had a river of crime running right under the surface and nothing anyone could do would ever stop it. Certainly not a single police detective.
So yeah, I could almost forgive him being dirty. But I could never forgive how he used me. My body, my feelings, my safety. I put my own best friend in danger because I thought it might help Sam. I felt bad about how my accidental discovery of my boss’s real business might affect his career. It all sickened me now.
“Carly, are you still there? Please say something. I’m so worried about you.”
“Why? Am I in danger in here? The only person who could hurt me is you, Sam.”
“Just tell me what you’re afraid of. Tell me what happened.”
I stood up and tapped the cell phone against the door. “I found your secret phone.”
“Huh? Oh, you mean the burner. So? I’ve explained about those.”
“Yeah, you sure did. You explained a lot of things.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“I read your text messages. I saw what you said about me.”
“About you?”
“That’s right.”
There was a long silence before he replied. Trying to come up with another lie, I assumed.
“Baby, I don’t know what you think you read, but if you just open the door we can talk about this. All I want to do is protect you.”
“Fuck off, Sam. I don’t believe a
He was right. There was no hell for sneaky, slimy men who cajole and seduce. Who pet and pretend to care while all the time they’re waiting to strike. No, hell is saved for victims of men like that. Stupid girls like me.
“Carly!”
I jumped and then froze as his hand slapped the door behind me, but he didn’t try to come in. There was a dull thud higher up like his forehead landing against the cheap wood.
“You’re killing me. Please open the door.”
“I will kill you, Sam,” I choked out. “If you touch me I’ll kill you, I swear. It might take me hours but I will find a way to beat you. I won’t let you hurt me.”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I just want to know what’s wrong with you.”
“ You are what’s wrong with me. All your sweet words and comforting embraces. Lies to keep me weak. Make me dependent on you until you could get whatever it is you want from me.”
I could hear the sigh through the door before he spoke. “Baby, I don’t have any idea what you are talking about. I don’t want anything but you. I thought we were in this together? What changed?”
“I found the truth. The thing I always knew in the back of my mind. Tell me why, Sam. Did you know who I was the night we met at that club? Did you seduce me to find out about Mitchell’s operation?”
“Operation? The club? You think I was undercover there? And that you’re part of my cover? Don’t you understand what’s happened here? We’re both in huge trouble and you’re in danger. The people your boss worked for are seriously connected in the drug game. I don’t know why they kidnapped and threatened you, or tried to run us off the road tonight. But I’m going to find out. I’m going to keep you safe from all this, no matter what it takes. My case, my career, they mean nothing if you get hurt.”
Again, he had all the beautiful words. The ones I’d believed when we were in bed together. But I wouldn’t be swayed by pretty words anymore. I didn’t know why he’d done it, or when it started. But he was involved somehow and that’s all that mattered.
Of course, now it all made terrible sense. The ease with which I was taken from my apartment when he just happened to leave. The mole inside the police department. The way they always found us. The two warehouses. I was no expert in criminal enterprises but I’d seen enough movies and television shows about dirty cops. Maybe Sam had started out as he said. A cop who looked young and rough enough to get in with drug dealers. Maybe they offered him money or power. I knew he came from a difficult upbringing and could almost understand giving in. The city had a river of crime running right under the surface and nothing anyone could do would ever stop it. Certainly not a single police detective.
So yeah, I could almost forgive him being dirty. But I could never forgive how he used me. My body, my feelings, my safety. I put my own best friend in danger because I thought it might help Sam. I felt bad about how my accidental discovery of my boss’s real business might affect his career. It all sickened me now.
“Carly, are you still there? Please say something. I’m so worried about you.”
“Why? Am I in danger in here? The only person who could hurt me is you, Sam.”
“Just tell me what you’re afraid of. Tell me what happened.”
I stood up and tapped the cell phone against the door. “I found your secret phone.”
“Huh? Oh, you mean the burner. So? I’ve explained about those.”
“Yeah, you sure did. You explained a lot of things.”
“So then what’s the problem?”
“I read your text messages. I saw what you said about me.”
“About you?”
“That’s right.”
There was a long silence before he replied. Trying to come up with another lie, I assumed.
“Baby, I don’t know what you think you read, but if you just open the door we can talk about this. All I want to do is protect you.”
“Fuck off, Sam. I don’t believe a
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