Wasn’t that the point? “Marriage is giving yourself to the other person. In good and bad. Sickness and health.” Energy twitched through him as he reached for her chair and steered it back to him. “You have so much to offer someone. Don’t you know that?”
With a hard tug on the wheels, she jolted away from him. “You don’t understand. You have no idea how it feels. I won’t hold anyone back, Isaac. Marriage is not an option for me.” She wheeled herself to the other side of the room as if that was the end of the conversation.
Heaving his weighted body off the couch, he followed behind her. “That’s like me saying I’m too damaged to have a relationship with anyone.” And he couldn’t hear that. “Everyone’s damaged, Julia.” He slipped in front of her so she couldn’t hightail it across the room again. “It might be more visible on you, but everyone has something to overcome.”
Her eyes fired up as she pointed at him. “ You’ll feel better someday. There’s medication, counseling. There’s hope for you, Isaac. I’ll never walk again.”
He reeled back like someone had slapped him. Unbelievable. All this time, everyone thought Julia had risen above the accident, that she’d made peace with what had happened to her, that she accepted it. They were dead wrong.
He dropped to his knees in front of her. “You say you’re fine with it. With everything that happened to you. But you’re not.”
Her eyes reddened. “Yes. I am .”
“You’re not.” An angry tension fortified his jaw. “Look how you fight everyone who wants to help you. Who wants to be close to you.” He reached over to hold her chin steady so she’d stop looking away from him. “Julia…did you ever let yourself grieve what you lost?” He only asked because that was the process he’d been walking through for the last month. “It’s part of moving past it. Dealing with it.” At least that’s what the doc had said.
She slapped his hand away from her face. “When would I have done that? Between all of the surgeries? Between trying to convince my parents and my brother that it wasn’t their fault? You should’ve seen what the guilt did to them all, Isaac. It changed them.” She swiped angrily at the tears that trailed down her cheeks. “So no. Maybe I didn’t grieve. Maybe I just wanted to move on. That’s all I want. To move on.”
His knees ached but he didn’t stand. He stayed there. On the floor. So he could be with her. “You can’t move on until you face it. Until you acknowledge what you lost.” He knew that. He’d tried, too.
“You want to know what I lost?” Her jaw trembled. “Everything. Every dream I’d ever had for myself. Now I’m trying to find them again. By myself .” She eased her chair away from him and headed for the bathroom door. “I need to get ready for bed. Feel free to take one of the blankets for the couch.”
Then, she disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Chapter Nine
Q uietly, Julia opened the bathroom door and peeked out into the living area. The lights were out, except for a small one above the kitchen sink. Breathing a sigh of relief, she pushed the door open all the way and wheeled herself over to the bed, hoping the creaks from her chair didn’t wake Isaac.
How could she face him after all of that? She couldn’t. So she’d taken her time getting ready for bed, knowing she was quickly losing the will to fight him on anything. Her heart belonged to him. It always had.
That was the problem. She couldn’t forget how she’d felt when she’d finally regained consciousness twelve years ago. Every cell in her body hurt. Terror had pounded in the ragged beat of her heart. When she remembered where she was, what had happened, Isaac was the first person she’d thought about. His was the only face she wanted to see. When they told her Kacy and Megan hadn’t made it, when they told her she’d likely never walk again. She’d wanted Isaac’s
With a hard tug on the wheels, she jolted away from him. “You don’t understand. You have no idea how it feels. I won’t hold anyone back, Isaac. Marriage is not an option for me.” She wheeled herself to the other side of the room as if that was the end of the conversation.
Heaving his weighted body off the couch, he followed behind her. “That’s like me saying I’m too damaged to have a relationship with anyone.” And he couldn’t hear that. “Everyone’s damaged, Julia.” He slipped in front of her so she couldn’t hightail it across the room again. “It might be more visible on you, but everyone has something to overcome.”
Her eyes fired up as she pointed at him. “ You’ll feel better someday. There’s medication, counseling. There’s hope for you, Isaac. I’ll never walk again.”
He reeled back like someone had slapped him. Unbelievable. All this time, everyone thought Julia had risen above the accident, that she’d made peace with what had happened to her, that she accepted it. They were dead wrong.
He dropped to his knees in front of her. “You say you’re fine with it. With everything that happened to you. But you’re not.”
Her eyes reddened. “Yes. I am .”
“You’re not.” An angry tension fortified his jaw. “Look how you fight everyone who wants to help you. Who wants to be close to you.” He reached over to hold her chin steady so she’d stop looking away from him. “Julia…did you ever let yourself grieve what you lost?” He only asked because that was the process he’d been walking through for the last month. “It’s part of moving past it. Dealing with it.” At least that’s what the doc had said.
She slapped his hand away from her face. “When would I have done that? Between all of the surgeries? Between trying to convince my parents and my brother that it wasn’t their fault? You should’ve seen what the guilt did to them all, Isaac. It changed them.” She swiped angrily at the tears that trailed down her cheeks. “So no. Maybe I didn’t grieve. Maybe I just wanted to move on. That’s all I want. To move on.”
His knees ached but he didn’t stand. He stayed there. On the floor. So he could be with her. “You can’t move on until you face it. Until you acknowledge what you lost.” He knew that. He’d tried, too.
“You want to know what I lost?” Her jaw trembled. “Everything. Every dream I’d ever had for myself. Now I’m trying to find them again. By myself .” She eased her chair away from him and headed for the bathroom door. “I need to get ready for bed. Feel free to take one of the blankets for the couch.”
Then, she disappeared into the bathroom and slammed the door.
Chapter Nine
Q uietly, Julia opened the bathroom door and peeked out into the living area. The lights were out, except for a small one above the kitchen sink. Breathing a sigh of relief, she pushed the door open all the way and wheeled herself over to the bed, hoping the creaks from her chair didn’t wake Isaac.
How could she face him after all of that? She couldn’t. So she’d taken her time getting ready for bed, knowing she was quickly losing the will to fight him on anything. Her heart belonged to him. It always had.
That was the problem. She couldn’t forget how she’d felt when she’d finally regained consciousness twelve years ago. Every cell in her body hurt. Terror had pounded in the ragged beat of her heart. When she remembered where she was, what had happened, Isaac was the first person she’d thought about. His was the only face she wanted to see. When they told her Kacy and Megan hadn’t made it, when they told her she’d likely never walk again. She’d wanted Isaac’s
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