On My Knees by Meredith Wild Page B

shop for Christmas gifts. It’s simpler in a lot of ways. I think that was what kept me there, kept me going back. Every day being the same, like some sort of self-imposed purgatory.”
    I ran my thumb along the clothed edge of the table. Did she know that I’d served my time in the outskirts of hell because of her? That sometimes I’d wished for danger with a blind courage, trying to cure the dying place in my heart where she’d once been.
    “There were times when I’d been there for so long, I could convince myself that time was actually standing still. Every day looked the same as the last, with so many days still ahead of me.”
    “Yet you kept going back.”
    I nodded. “That’s what I thought I needed.”
    She worried her lip gently. “And then you left.”
    “When the time was right, I did. I finished up the last tour and came back ready to start over.”
    We were quiet for a long time. The stab of a few particularly heinous memories flashed through my mind—visions that my brain wouldn’t forget. I pushed them away, focusing instead on the beautiful woman in front of me.
    “So what made you change your mind and get out?” she asked quietly.
    “My family was understandably worried. They’d email me every other day asking if I was close to what was happening on the news. They just wanted to make sure I was still alive. I could have stayed in longer, but I didn’t want to put them through that anymore.”
    “And you like it here?”
    “I love it. Completely different, of course, but the business has been a great challenge. And I like the energy of the city. The possibilities, I guess.”
    “You never know who you might run into.”
    “You’re proof of that.”
    She smiled and my heart twisted. Thank God for chance meetings.
    “Are Olivia and Darren partners with the business then?”
    “No, Darren’s invested in his own way, but he can’t commit to a woman, let alone a business. He’s a great help though. Gives me a break and does well with the training.”
    “You two seem close.”
    I shook my head, guessing she gathered that from me cussing him out at the bar. “Yeah, at the end of the day, he’s my brother. What are you gonna do? He’s a pain in the ass, but somewhere under that thick skull he cares, I guess.”
    “You’re lucky.”
    I nodded. Olivia, Darren, and I were all independent in our own way, but knowing that we had each other meant the world sometimes.
    “And Liv needed a change,” I continued. “She’d been working for our father’s private equity company upstate. Not surprisingly she started to feel kind of smothered. Dad was trying to set her up with guys at work. He means well, but Mom was making wedding plans before she could blink, trying to track out her whole life.”
    “Sound stressful.”
    “Of all of us, she’s been the one they wouldn’t really let go of. After a while they gave up on Darren and me, but she’s their little girl. You know how she is. She didn’t want to let them down. But the whole situation started eating at her, so I told her to come stay with me for a while, help me get things organized with the business until she was ready to make her next move.”
    “How about you? Anything new with your family?”
    She sliced off a hunk of steak and popped it into her mouth, shaking her head. I guessed she didn’t want to talk about that either. She’d always been vague about her family. Her father was out of the picture early on, and her mother seemed to be a bit of a rolling stone. I had a hard time believing that Eli and Vanessa were the only significant people in her life since I’d left though.
    “So how does a beautiful, successful woman like you not have a boyfriend in this city?”
    Her eyes met mine. “You’re intent on figuring me out, aren’t you?”
    “Hell bent. Might as well start filling me in now.”
    She spun her water glass by its base. Light flickered off the liquid like a prism. “You might not like what you