too far to turn around and leave. He'd respected Vicky's wishes and stayed away from the funeral, but he needed to speak to her. He needed to make sure that she and Robbie were okay. He pressed the Intercom.
Vicky's voice came over the speaker. "Yes."
"It's Aiden. I'd like to talk to you for a minute."
Silence followed his request, then said, "There's nothing left to say, Aiden."
"There's a lot to say, Vicky. I made a promise to Kyle. I intend to keep it. You're going to have to leave the condo eventually. I'll wait here until you do." He hoped he wouldn't have to make good on the threat or that Vicky wouldn’t call the cops on him and report him for harassment.
A moment later, the buzzer rang. He opened the door and walked up to the second floor. Vicky stood in the doorway. She looked exhausted, emotionally spent. She wore faded jeans and a big sweatshirt that had baby spit-up on the shoulder. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and there were dark shadows under her puffy eyes. She'd aged ten years since he'd last seen her.
"What do you want, Aiden? Absolution?" she asked, her tone harsh and unforgiving. She folded her arms in front of her chest, making it clear she had no intention of inviting him inside.
"How's Robbie?"
"He's asleep. He has no idea that his life has been ripped apart, that his father is never coming home." Her voice broke. "I don't want to talk to you, Aiden. There's nothing you can say that will make any of this better."
"I know that, Vicky. I miss him, too. I loved Kyle. He was closer to me than some of my brothers."
"Then why did you let him die?"
Her question stole the breath out of his chest.
"Kyle would have followed you anywhere," she added. "He had so much respect for you. He never questioned your decisions. But some of the other men did, and they're still alive, because they didn't follow you the way Kyle did." Her shoulders began to shake, and she put a hand to her trembling mouth. "You're still alive, Aiden. How can I look at you and not see him? You were always together. You were superheroes. You were invincible. That's what Kyle used to say."
Her words let loose an agonizing pain in his chest. He bit down on his bottom lip, feeling like she was ripping his heart into very small pieces. But he had to let her get out whatever she needed to say.
Tears fell out of her eyes, and she ruthlessly wiped them away. "You promised me that you would keep Kyle safe, and that didn't happen. So I don't care about any other promises you made."
"I'm sorry, Vicky." He wanted to give her a hug, but her body was as stiff as a board, and it was clear that she wanted nothing from him.
"Is that it? Are we done?"
"I want to help you and Robbie."
"To lessen your guilt?" she asked scornfully. "You think that will make it better?"
"I think it's what Kyle would want me to do. I didn't let him die, Vicky. I tried to get to him. He wasn't following me. I was following him."
"You should have gotten off that ridge a lot earlier. That's what Dave Hawkins told me. But you were convinced you could beat the fire."
He had wanted to win that day, but a lot of factors had played into his decisions. "The fire blew up around us, Vicky. We had seconds to find a way out. And for whatever reason, Kyle went in another direction than everyone else."
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he was blinded by smoke."
"How do you not know?"
"I fell down a hill into a ravine. I was knocked out, and when I woke up I couldn't remember everything that had gone down. There were pieces from my memory missing, and they still haven't come back."
"Well, isn't that convenient? You don't remember, so you can't be blamed."
He didn't know this cold, angry woman. She was a far cry from the fun-loving wife and mother he'd spent time with the past two years.
"It's not at all convenient," he countered. "When did you last talk to Kyle?"
"The day before he died."
"Was he worried about anything?"
Her gaze narrowed.
Vicky's voice came over the speaker. "Yes."
"It's Aiden. I'd like to talk to you for a minute."
Silence followed his request, then said, "There's nothing left to say, Aiden."
"There's a lot to say, Vicky. I made a promise to Kyle. I intend to keep it. You're going to have to leave the condo eventually. I'll wait here until you do." He hoped he wouldn't have to make good on the threat or that Vicky wouldn’t call the cops on him and report him for harassment.
A moment later, the buzzer rang. He opened the door and walked up to the second floor. Vicky stood in the doorway. She looked exhausted, emotionally spent. She wore faded jeans and a big sweatshirt that had baby spit-up on the shoulder. Her brown hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and there were dark shadows under her puffy eyes. She'd aged ten years since he'd last seen her.
"What do you want, Aiden? Absolution?" she asked, her tone harsh and unforgiving. She folded her arms in front of her chest, making it clear she had no intention of inviting him inside.
"How's Robbie?"
"He's asleep. He has no idea that his life has been ripped apart, that his father is never coming home." Her voice broke. "I don't want to talk to you, Aiden. There's nothing you can say that will make any of this better."
"I know that, Vicky. I miss him, too. I loved Kyle. He was closer to me than some of my brothers."
"Then why did you let him die?"
Her question stole the breath out of his chest.
"Kyle would have followed you anywhere," she added. "He had so much respect for you. He never questioned your decisions. But some of the other men did, and they're still alive, because they didn't follow you the way Kyle did." Her shoulders began to shake, and she put a hand to her trembling mouth. "You're still alive, Aiden. How can I look at you and not see him? You were always together. You were superheroes. You were invincible. That's what Kyle used to say."
Her words let loose an agonizing pain in his chest. He bit down on his bottom lip, feeling like she was ripping his heart into very small pieces. But he had to let her get out whatever she needed to say.
Tears fell out of her eyes, and she ruthlessly wiped them away. "You promised me that you would keep Kyle safe, and that didn't happen. So I don't care about any other promises you made."
"I'm sorry, Vicky." He wanted to give her a hug, but her body was as stiff as a board, and it was clear that she wanted nothing from him.
"Is that it? Are we done?"
"I want to help you and Robbie."
"To lessen your guilt?" she asked scornfully. "You think that will make it better?"
"I think it's what Kyle would want me to do. I didn't let him die, Vicky. I tried to get to him. He wasn't following me. I was following him."
"You should have gotten off that ridge a lot earlier. That's what Dave Hawkins told me. But you were convinced you could beat the fire."
He had wanted to win that day, but a lot of factors had played into his decisions. "The fire blew up around us, Vicky. We had seconds to find a way out. And for whatever reason, Kyle went in another direction than everyone else."
"Why would he do that?"
"I don't know. Maybe he was blinded by smoke."
"How do you not know?"
"I fell down a hill into a ravine. I was knocked out, and when I woke up I couldn't remember everything that had gone down. There were pieces from my memory missing, and they still haven't come back."
"Well, isn't that convenient? You don't remember, so you can't be blamed."
He didn't know this cold, angry woman. She was a far cry from the fun-loving wife and mother he'd spent time with the past two years.
"It's not at all convenient," he countered. "When did you last talk to Kyle?"
"The day before he died."
"Was he worried about anything?"
Her gaze narrowed.
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