will never find it!
4.38 p.m.
Nathan has found it and gone mental. I told Mum I was offended by it as a woman and that it encouraged me to think I needed a boob job. SHE WENT ON MY SIDE!!! FANTASTIC!
Dear Mum,
Some other things that make me want a boob job are:
â¢Â   Not having any money.
â¢Â   Not having enough clothes.
â¢Â   School.
LOL!
T HURSDAY 18 TH F EBRUARY
12.59 p.m.
OMG â apparently there is a rumour going round that Simon McKinnon fancies me! Simon McKinnon is vaguely uncraptacular but a bit of a mega-brain goth.
4.53 p.m.
Rang Dimple to find out more about Simon but she was out with Bhavin. Sheâd told her parents that she was doing homework with me! I said, âDimple, you need to TELL me things like this. What if your parents check and ring my house?!â Dimple just giggled and said, âOh yeah! Sorry Hats. Listen, got to go. The Bhavster and me donât have long. I told my parents I was asking you about a medicine through time project. See you soon.â
Medicine through time?! Dimpleâs dad is a surgeon! Why would he believe that sheâd need to ask ME about stuff like that?! Bhavin has made Dimple really do something thick. Itâs like men completely snog the clever bit of your brain out!
F RIDAY 19 TH F EBRUARY
10.47 a.m.
Goose confirmed that Simon McKinnon fancies me, though he says heâs a bit weird â in fact totally weird â and I should avoid him. Simon claims that he fixed his short-sightedness with the power of his own mind. Why would you bother doing that when thereâs Specsavers?
Goose seemed a bit jealous that a tall man who may not have a gecko but wears really cool boots fancies ME. GOOD. Perhaps deep down I have not killed all his pash for me.
1.38 p.m.
Jen is officially jealous TOO that Simon McKinnon fancies me as all the emos AND goths think he is a hero. They think he has special powers!
I donât believe this but I donât care. I just want Simon to have SUPERHERO LOVE SNOG ABILITY!
1.56 p.m.
I am a total doughnut.
S ATURDAY 20 TH F EBRUARY
9.23 a.m.
Just thought! This Simon McKinnon rumour might spur Goose into action. If he thinks someone else likes me he might actually DO something and I may get some love action! Perhaps good goth love will AWAKEN the GOOSE!
Heâd have to REALLY have superpowers though to spur Goose into ANYTHING!
S UNDAY 21 ST F EBRUARY
4.38 p.m.
I went round to see Gran today to tell her that I had followed her advice. She said, âHattie â itâs about time you entered the world of men, but donât go the same way as your mother. Remember, if you stand up for nothing youâll fall for anything.â
I assured Gran that I am not about to get pregnant by a boy called Keith who gets someone else pregnant at the same time!
Gran just said, âGood. Donât!â Then she carried on playing âCandy Crush Sagaâ on her iPad.
She also told me that sheâs decided to go to an art class tomorrow night as she feels she might have âhidden talentsâ and âneeds to express herselfâ. I donât think Gran has a problem with that! I donât think Gran has EVER had a problem with that!
M ONDAY 22 ND F EBRUARY
9.02 p.m.
UNBELIEVABLE!
MATFIELD runs Granâs new art class! SHE IS ALSO NICE to old people ALL the time! They even go to the pub for a drink afterwards! Over some gourmet beef-and-mustard crisps, Matfield told Gran that her CRAP stick men remind her of someone called âLowryâ!
9.21 p.m.
Just googled Lowry. He drew stick men! They are worth MILLIONS. This TOTALLY proves I have potential.
T UESDAY 23 RD F EBRUARY
3.46 p.m.
There is now a MASSIVE rumour going around school about me and Simon McKinnon! Rebecca Pan has spread it that he fancies me and Iâve told her to spread it back that I like him. Itâs only a matter of time.
7.08 p.m.
Just had a humongous argument with Gran about
4.38 p.m.
Nathan has found it and gone mental. I told Mum I was offended by it as a woman and that it encouraged me to think I needed a boob job. SHE WENT ON MY SIDE!!! FANTASTIC!
Dear Mum,
Some other things that make me want a boob job are:
â¢Â   Not having any money.
â¢Â   Not having enough clothes.
â¢Â   School.
LOL!
T HURSDAY 18 TH F EBRUARY
12.59 p.m.
OMG â apparently there is a rumour going round that Simon McKinnon fancies me! Simon McKinnon is vaguely uncraptacular but a bit of a mega-brain goth.
4.53 p.m.
Rang Dimple to find out more about Simon but she was out with Bhavin. Sheâd told her parents that she was doing homework with me! I said, âDimple, you need to TELL me things like this. What if your parents check and ring my house?!â Dimple just giggled and said, âOh yeah! Sorry Hats. Listen, got to go. The Bhavster and me donât have long. I told my parents I was asking you about a medicine through time project. See you soon.â
Medicine through time?! Dimpleâs dad is a surgeon! Why would he believe that sheâd need to ask ME about stuff like that?! Bhavin has made Dimple really do something thick. Itâs like men completely snog the clever bit of your brain out!
F RIDAY 19 TH F EBRUARY
10.47 a.m.
Goose confirmed that Simon McKinnon fancies me, though he says heâs a bit weird â in fact totally weird â and I should avoid him. Simon claims that he fixed his short-sightedness with the power of his own mind. Why would you bother doing that when thereâs Specsavers?
Goose seemed a bit jealous that a tall man who may not have a gecko but wears really cool boots fancies ME. GOOD. Perhaps deep down I have not killed all his pash for me.
1.38 p.m.
Jen is officially jealous TOO that Simon McKinnon fancies me as all the emos AND goths think he is a hero. They think he has special powers!
I donât believe this but I donât care. I just want Simon to have SUPERHERO LOVE SNOG ABILITY!
1.56 p.m.
I am a total doughnut.
S ATURDAY 20 TH F EBRUARY
9.23 a.m.
Just thought! This Simon McKinnon rumour might spur Goose into action. If he thinks someone else likes me he might actually DO something and I may get some love action! Perhaps good goth love will AWAKEN the GOOSE!
Heâd have to REALLY have superpowers though to spur Goose into ANYTHING!
S UNDAY 21 ST F EBRUARY
4.38 p.m.
I went round to see Gran today to tell her that I had followed her advice. She said, âHattie â itâs about time you entered the world of men, but donât go the same way as your mother. Remember, if you stand up for nothing youâll fall for anything.â
I assured Gran that I am not about to get pregnant by a boy called Keith who gets someone else pregnant at the same time!
Gran just said, âGood. Donât!â Then she carried on playing âCandy Crush Sagaâ on her iPad.
She also told me that sheâs decided to go to an art class tomorrow night as she feels she might have âhidden talentsâ and âneeds to express herselfâ. I donât think Gran has a problem with that! I donât think Gran has EVER had a problem with that!
M ONDAY 22 ND F EBRUARY
9.02 p.m.
UNBELIEVABLE!
MATFIELD runs Granâs new art class! SHE IS ALSO NICE to old people ALL the time! They even go to the pub for a drink afterwards! Over some gourmet beef-and-mustard crisps, Matfield told Gran that her CRAP stick men remind her of someone called âLowryâ!
9.21 p.m.
Just googled Lowry. He drew stick men! They are worth MILLIONS. This TOTALLY proves I have potential.
T UESDAY 23 RD F EBRUARY
3.46 p.m.
There is now a MASSIVE rumour going around school about me and Simon McKinnon! Rebecca Pan has spread it that he fancies me and Iâve told her to spread it back that I like him. Itâs only a matter of time.
7.08 p.m.
Just had a humongous argument with Gran about
Similar Books
