his bed. I was ready to stay here as long as it took for Logan to regain his memory.
Logan studied me for a few moments before speaking. “Are we in love with each other?”
I hadn’t expected that to be his first question and I swallowed audibly. “I believe we are. I mean, you tell me that you love me.” I bit my lip. “And I love you.”
Logan frowned. “You said we had only been together for four months, but the guy last night said I had been in love with you since college.”
How could I explain our convoluted history? Especially when a large part of that history included Cassie. I didn’t want to talk about her death. But what choice did I have?
“You and I met while we were at the University of Michigan. You were actually my best friend’s boyfriend. Do you remember Cassie?” Logan shook his head and I took a deep breath before continuing. “She was my best friend since elementary school, and you guys started dating our junior year. You and I started spending a lot of time together and one thing led to another…”
It sounded so sordid when I tried to describe it. I couldn’t put into words how strong our feelings had been for each other. How it had felt as if there was no point in being alive if we couldn’t be together.
“We never meant to hurt her,” I said, looking down at my lap. “We just couldn’t stay away from each other. We were planning on telling her about us, but before we could…she killed herself.”
I looked up at Logan, but his expression remained impassive. I continued to talk when he didn’t say anything. “I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. I blamed myself because…” I shrugged my shoulders. “I blamed myself because it was obviously my fault. You were convinced she didn’t know about us, but I wasn’t so sure.” I reached up and fingered the heart pendant around my neck, trying to draw strength from it. “I refused to have contact with you until about five years later, when you moved to Chicago. We became friends, and then much more.”
I looked at Logan to try to gauge his reaction, but his expression was unreadable. “I was feeling a lot of guilt about being together because of Cassie’s death, and I pretty much pushed you away. You moved to L.A. for your job for about a year, and then came back to Chicago. We realized that we couldn’t stay apart, so we started a relationship again. So, it’s been four months since then.”
Logan looked at me contemplatively for a while, before speaking. “It’s funny. I remember going to the University of Michigan. I remember moving to Chicago and then L.A., and then back again. But it’s like the significant people in my life during those time periods have been wiped from my memory.”
It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, after confessing our past to him. He was so matter-of-fact after I told him our history, including the death of Cassie.
He sighed heavily. “I need some time to process everything that you’ve told me.”
I hesitated. “Does that mean you want me to leave?”
Logan shook his head. “No, I’d like it if you stayed. We can talk more about the past.”
I was relieved he wasn’t dismissing me. That was something, at least. The rest of the morning was spent on lighter topics, where I filled in some blanks about his work and family, although he remembered a lot about those areas of his life. Nurses and doctors were in and out while we talked, but we concentrated on each other. As painful as it was that Logan didn’t remember me, I was reminded of why I loved being in his company so much. We instantly clicked in ways I had taken for granted, laughing at random jokes and sometimes talking over each other because we had so much to say. It reminded me that I should be grateful that he was alive and healthy. The memories would come later. I was just thankful that I hadn’t lost him.
The morning flew by and I was surprised when I saw that it was already lunchtime. One of the nurses
Logan studied me for a few moments before speaking. “Are we in love with each other?”
I hadn’t expected that to be his first question and I swallowed audibly. “I believe we are. I mean, you tell me that you love me.” I bit my lip. “And I love you.”
Logan frowned. “You said we had only been together for four months, but the guy last night said I had been in love with you since college.”
How could I explain our convoluted history? Especially when a large part of that history included Cassie. I didn’t want to talk about her death. But what choice did I have?
“You and I met while we were at the University of Michigan. You were actually my best friend’s boyfriend. Do you remember Cassie?” Logan shook his head and I took a deep breath before continuing. “She was my best friend since elementary school, and you guys started dating our junior year. You and I started spending a lot of time together and one thing led to another…”
It sounded so sordid when I tried to describe it. I couldn’t put into words how strong our feelings had been for each other. How it had felt as if there was no point in being alive if we couldn’t be together.
“We never meant to hurt her,” I said, looking down at my lap. “We just couldn’t stay away from each other. We were planning on telling her about us, but before we could…she killed herself.”
I looked up at Logan, but his expression remained impassive. I continued to talk when he didn’t say anything. “I pretty much had a nervous breakdown. I blamed myself because…” I shrugged my shoulders. “I blamed myself because it was obviously my fault. You were convinced she didn’t know about us, but I wasn’t so sure.” I reached up and fingered the heart pendant around my neck, trying to draw strength from it. “I refused to have contact with you until about five years later, when you moved to Chicago. We became friends, and then much more.”
I looked at Logan to try to gauge his reaction, but his expression was unreadable. “I was feeling a lot of guilt about being together because of Cassie’s death, and I pretty much pushed you away. You moved to L.A. for your job for about a year, and then came back to Chicago. We realized that we couldn’t stay apart, so we started a relationship again. So, it’s been four months since then.”
Logan looked at me contemplatively for a while, before speaking. “It’s funny. I remember going to the University of Michigan. I remember moving to Chicago and then L.A., and then back again. But it’s like the significant people in my life during those time periods have been wiped from my memory.”
It wasn’t the reaction I was expecting, after confessing our past to him. He was so matter-of-fact after I told him our history, including the death of Cassie.
He sighed heavily. “I need some time to process everything that you’ve told me.”
I hesitated. “Does that mean you want me to leave?”
Logan shook his head. “No, I’d like it if you stayed. We can talk more about the past.”
I was relieved he wasn’t dismissing me. That was something, at least. The rest of the morning was spent on lighter topics, where I filled in some blanks about his work and family, although he remembered a lot about those areas of his life. Nurses and doctors were in and out while we talked, but we concentrated on each other. As painful as it was that Logan didn’t remember me, I was reminded of why I loved being in his company so much. We instantly clicked in ways I had taken for granted, laughing at random jokes and sometimes talking over each other because we had so much to say. It reminded me that I should be grateful that he was alive and healthy. The memories would come later. I was just thankful that I hadn’t lost him.
The morning flew by and I was surprised when I saw that it was already lunchtime. One of the nurses
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